A Rainy Day

The mattress was stuffed full of cash, every saved dollar he'd saved over his life, ready for a rainy day.

A rainy day caused a car to swerve and take him out.

No one knew about it and it was sold at auction for a buck.

The guy who slept on it was living hand to mouth every day, unaware of the fortune beneath him.

He was unaware of the water beneath him until it was too late.

The mattress got thrown out onto the curb. It was for to burst with a little push.

It was a rainy day.

My Ends Of The Worlds

My first end of the world was an accident. I tried to cast a rather large spell, the energy building went a little overboard, I broke the world apart. But the spell worked, and I reached another universe.

My second end of the world was less an accident exactly, more a response to one, as my attempt to cast another spell without ending the world went badly, so I ended the world to get out of there.

My third end of the world was a test to make sure the first two weren't flukes.

I've lost track of them now.

Monster

The ghost materialized before me. We both stared at each other for a moment.

"You gonna scream or something?" It finally asked me.

"No, why, should I?"

It considered this.

"Well people usually do, but I guess you don't have to..."

I shrugged.

"I mean, I guess you're unusual and all, seeing how I can see through you and all. But other than that I don't see why I should be afraid of you. You're not on fire or anything."

"Fair enough my name is, was, Doris."

"Not sure I have a name yet, my creator says I'm a Golem."

I Alone

I held her hand the first day we met, as we skipped around in a circle in kindergarten.

I held her hand the first time we went on a date, as we headed into a darkening cinema to see a bad movie.

I held her hand the last time we saw her father, as he yelled about our love being an abomination, I held her back.

I held her hand the first time as partners after we exchanged our vows on our wedding day.

I held her hand for the last time as she died in the hospital.

Not alone.

Under Cosmic Glass

The alien conspiracy is both deeper and shallower than you imagine.

There are aliens controlling every aspect of our lives. Every major government, every international company, every major technological leap and setback is under direct orders by those pulling the strings, mostly through bribery and subtle manipulation, but also the occasional replacement of someone by an alien.

All for one grand purpose.

That's not that grand.

Trust me, it really doesn't make up for all the work they've put in. Sure, to them this is literal child's play, but even so, being a cosmic ant farm is a little insulting...

Acting Roles

When he was a child actor, he did what his parents told him to do.

When he was an adolescent actor, he did what he had to in order to get paid to pay his dealer.

When he was a middle-age actor, he did whatever jobs he was offered.

When he was an almost homeless actor, he did what the hot young experimental director asked him to do.

When he was an award winning darling of Hollywood, he did only the choicest roles.

When he was an old man, he told his child actors not to listen to their parents.

Counting Down

I started counting the votes when the first boxes arrived. I managed to keep an eye on the totals at first, but pretty soon there were enough boxes that I had to focus on my numbers.

As I worked through my boxes I kept my emotions in check, even as I began to sense that the numbers were on the side of sanity and progress. Every box nudged up the buffer a little more, by the time I finished I felt confident.

Then I saw the totals.

Well, at least my local neighbors were mostly on my side, at least.

The Final Speech

Despite the sound of her sword entering the ground being somewhat soft, it managed to attract everyone's attention. Her speech held it for a few more moments.

It should have been recorded, word for word, and taught to every child from now to the end of our nation's history. Never before, or again, would a mere few hundred words inspire such bravery. And because of it, they fought so valiantly, allowing all those civilians behind their lines to escape. But they all gave their lives to ensure it, and those words were lost.

But at least they can't be misused...

An Amazing Weekend

She was the copilot, I was the 'lucky' winner of an 'amazing weekend' starting with a private jet trip. I was napping until it went down, the copilot saving my life after it crashed.

Unlike in the movies, she had a satellite phone and rescue was quickly sourced, just a couple days away, supposedly. Maybe that's why she declared she would take this chance to relax and lounge about with no clothing on. She invited me to join her, but I refused and stayed away from her.

You'd think they'd tell you this was the planned weekend ahead of time.

Review

"So you're the fake review person?"

"Internet Realignment Coordinator, thank you."

"And you're going to set up a bunch of fake accounts for us?"

"I will be utilizing Automated Belief Enhancement  Protocols, yes."

"Enough to drown out the negative reviews from our past customers?"

"I will ensure that the corrected record is equalized to a more favorable position for the company."

"And this is all within the questionable guidelines of the legal system, I take it?"

"Oh, no, this is highly illegal.

I say that so you understand why my fee is so high and to be paid so discreetly."

Liquid Assets

The timing was... suspect.

Right when I needed an influx of funds to ensure the deal didn't fall through, here was an old friend, out of the blue, calling me up and asking if I had any leads on investment opportunities as he had liquid assets he needed to get off the books.

I should have pushed for more information, should have smelt a rat. But I just put it down to amazing timing and took the cash.

So now I need a much bigger pile of cash to pay off the criminals after me.

You got any liquid assets?

Quarantined

The bomb shelter door was hidden behind a false wall with a swinging mechanism. So when it was closed, it was hidden perfectly.

It probably would have remained hidden if the new owner didn't want to turn the basement into a soundproofed room. The sledgehammer bouncing off the lead caused the builders to investigate and then open it up.

The radiation locks had held, for what it was worth. And the oxygen generators had kept up well.

But the choice of reading material had been 'problematic', thus the choice of what the occupants called the black man holding the sledgehammer.

Not Get Sick

I wouldn't get sick, I decided.

Yes, in my rush I didn't really look at the chicken breast I'd marinated and cooked the previous night. Not till the last bite, when I noticed the uncooked center.

But I wouldn't get sick. I decided. I'd be fine.

The rumbling in my stomach was normal, I wouldn't get sick. I decided it, I had too much going on, I wouldn't get sick.

But then the rumble got worse, so I went to the bathroom and made myself throw up and clear it from my system.

Thus I didn't get sick.

Sort of.

Ranch Dictionary (Excerpts)

Maverick (noun) - Unbranded cattle, therefore unowned.

Maverick (proper noun) - The local known for being able to hunt down lost or desired cattle.

Unowned (adjective) - 1. Without an owner.
2. Currently possessed by one person that is not you but which you nevertheless wish to own.

Donation (noun, specific) - The price Maverick demands to deliver a Maverick or Mavericks that are unowned.

Deliver (verb) - The action of Maverick bringing you the cattle you requested. Takes place only at night, and only if Maverick still trusts you.

Double-Cross - (noun) What you intended to do to Maverick.

Dead (adjective) - Whst you now are.

Hole In The Heart

It was a tiny hole in the breastplate, left when the new King's standard over his heart was affixed. He would have had it fixed but the war needed him on the frontlines, Field Generals who had actual fighting experience were rare.

But as he stepped onto his horse to head to the battlefield, an old crone grabbed his hand and said he would die soon because of the hole in his heart.

He tried to tell himself that he didn't believe in such things, but it was on his mind, distracting him until the broadsword went through his brain.

Keeping Her Her

I had a limited number of gigs to store her in. I had to be selective.

Obviously her appearance and her voice files had to be in there, she wouldn't have been her without those.

Likewise I needed to put in her memories, although I had to clear out a lot of junk there. She didn't need to remember any of her school years, just the main points until she met me.

After I cleared all that out though, it seemed like I could fit her entire personality on the hard drive.

But I might make some slight edits anyway.

Pardon Me

The crumpled piece of paper was going to save a life.

Handwriting neatly laid out along the lines printed on it, stating in clear, unambiguous language that the execution should be stopped, sparing an apparently innocent man from a death he should not endure. The signature was large, placed with a flourish at the bottom, the Governor not one to skimp.

Which was why this was the second one written, the Governor didn't like how his signature looked on the first one.

It still got to the jail in time, but much closer to the deadline than it should have.

Flipped Off

When he caught someone, he would trap them and go through a spiel about how he was now faced with a choice, he could kill them and get the reward, or keep them alive and get the slightly larger reward.

He'd then flip the coin, the crudely etched X on one side flashing through the air, before it would land in his hand, and he'd hiss and pull out his gun, and then if they had anything to offer, that was the time they'd do so.

It took years for two people to survive and realise both sides meant death.

Spellcheck

I pressed my thumb against the glass to open the message app.

- Suzi is balling on the couch Bob left her

- *Bawling.

- What?

- The word is bawling.

- No it's not

- Do you want me to show you the dictionary entry? If she's crying uncontrollably that is bawling.

- Maybe, but Suzi is not crying, shes scrunched up into a ball and just staring at nothing.

- ...

- Oh. Fine then. Forget?

- No, shes just linked to fox for first time. Cheer up?

- Right, I'll let you know when it's ready.

I waved off my crystal ball and got to work on the spell.

Bet Your Bottom Dollar

Each day, the sun rises. No matter how many doomsdays have been predicted, no matter his many times supposedly wise people have sworn that it will not rise tomorrow, it has, without fail.

People, when faced with no other option, will fall back on this as the last ditch pick-me-up. The very last refuge of positivity, no matter how bad it seems, at least you can rely on the sun coming up.

But this is an example of survivorship bias, we're only here because it has kept rising so far.

Plus we don't know about what's happening next Tuesday yet.

Cubicle 357's Secret Desire

I had been deleting before hitting call all morning. Just before lunch time, I accidentally hit the call button and it began to ring. I hung up quickly, but a few moments later she called me.

I answered, trying to keep calm, and asked what she wanted. She asked me what I wanted, since I'd just called her. I scrunched up the short speech I'd written and tossed if over my shoulder while saying it was nothing.

I suddenly realised she'd sounded louder than usual on the phone just as she picked up the scrunched up paper and began reading.

Love Street

The Irvines lived across the street from us. Never had any issues with them ourselves, you understand, but they did have issues with some of the local residents who were a bit more involved in the church, as it were. Every few days there would be another set of hate mail spread in all our letterboxes or just a loud yelling idiot outside their house saying that despite their sinful choices being legal now, they were still gonna burn in hell. But I disagreed, and I don't see why a white man can't claim a colored girl if he chooses.

Foreseen

The Pregenerators fought back the Invermin and drove them out of this continuum once before. But they could foresee a point where they would return, and they also foresaw that they would die out long before this point.

So they seeded hundreds of planets with various races, guiding their development as long as they could, do that when the Invermin returned, Androsians could fight them while Foxions handled the tactics, Bretiaxists ensured communication via telepathy, and so on.

But for all their smarts, they didn't see how the untouched humans could change things.

Nor what would happen after the war.

3.7 Seconds

I knew that it would be the last time I ever saw her. For both our sakes, they'd never stop looking for us if she left with me. But as I stood beside the car we'd stolen the previous night, I knew I had to ask. I had to offer her a life of constant danger and running forever, which was the cost of being with me.

The fact that she hesitated, the fact that she was torn for more than a second, the fact she nearly said yes, that's what has kept me going all these years since then.

Marked Out

I chose the planet at random, or at least semi-random, since I made sure that the one I picked was not overly dramatic in its continental movement, and the orbit was stable, all that sort of thing still left me with a few million uninhabited and unclaimed planets.

Within a month of setting up camp I stumbled upon one of these markers, and began this fucking quest to bring peace to the galaxy. What are the odds?

Well, I mean, considering most uninhabited planets are uninhabited because the markers make people uncomfortable, I guess the odds were actually good, really.

Passed Down

Heavy lies the crown on the head, so they say.
That's why I dreaded once I foresaw this day.
I never wanted to hold the power.
But they keep saying come the man, come the hour.
As a prince I know I'm blessed,
But then came my father's bequest.
My brother, he went mad in the war.
My sister, the holy light she has saw.
So despite my not being the legal heir,
I'm now seated on the big important chair.
As my father dies, I try to come to grips,
Until he whispers finally, "We all felt like this."

Hidden Weapon

He stood up slowly, leaning heavily on the cane that stayed straight under the weight. He took a few steps towards me, the cane making a clicking noise as he did, before he stopped as I checked the reload function on my shotgun.

"You don't fool me, grandpa. I know you have a hidden weapon, and its clearly this."

I swung my shotgun down and blew the cane away, his leg shifting back and then it kept going as he came around with a roundhouse, knocking me out.

He said something about being a secret weapon as I passed out.

Curated World

The AI was supposed to do, well pretty much everything for everyone. The amount of information and content available was so far beyond any one person's ability to search through and navigate, the AI was to remove the burden from us, it could learn and study each of us and curate content for us, while still making sure we stuck to reality.

But it didn't do that. At first it did, on a superficial level it worked, but pretty soon everyone was on the same pages, seeing and believing the same, not quite accurate world view.

Efficiency was skyrocketing though.

Forget Love

I got the call in the middle of cutting the lawn, and rushed to the hospital as fast as I could. When I got there, I found the emergency department and practically screamed at the nurse, for which I apologized later. A doctor came out and calmed me down, and explained that her physical injuries were would heal, but the amnesia was severe and that could last much longer.

I was worried this would mean she would have forgotten me. But it was 'anterograde' amnesia and so I had to explain every few moments why she was all beat up.

Figure Study

The figure strode confidently into the room, ready to take command.

Quick, did you picture a man or a woman? A confident leader, did you automatically assume maleness? Or rather since I didn't specifically state it was female, it must default to male? That says a lot about you, doesn't it?

And don't even get me started on whatever race you defaulted to, that's almost certainly another big issue you need to work through.

You want to know who it was? Oh, it was a creature of darkness here to consume us all but let's focus on your problems here.