J For Jokes

I popped my head over the cubicle wall and I heard Jay groan.

"What do you want a joke for this time?"

"I'm working on the team presentation to upstairs."

He grumbled for a moment.

"I guess that's important enough. The set-up?"

"I've finished talking about the lawsuit for that wrongful death and want to move onto the tax avoidance plan for next year."

Jay considered things for a moment.

"Speaking of immoral bastardry, I-"

His phone rang and he answered it, which I misunderstood to mean that was the joke, which it wasn't.

I never get them, you see.

I For Information

Unsurprisingly they assigned a guard who didn't speak English. And also unsurprisingly they didn't know I'd been learning their language.

"I want information."

The guard looked into my cell like I'd just grown a second head.

"What" was all i understood as he spoke rapidly. After a moment I shook my head.

"No understand. I food put?"

The guard rolled his eyes and held up his wrist to the cell's bars.

He pointed to the symbol on the far side of the clock, but I didn't care, as his arm was now in perfect range to grab, pull, and break. 

H For Hope

It was at my lowest point when I took every pill in the cabinet. After some convulsions and the room spinning, I collapsed, and hoped my pain was over.

Instead, I found myself on a rugby field, like the sort I saw in Australia on my gap year. Except the grass was black, the sky was blacker, and there was a figure of white bone in a cloak of the blackest by a football.

"If you score a goal, I will take you."

I stared, then lined it up, ran, and kicked.

I was nowhere near the posts.

Yet again.

G For Grant

We were chilling at Top Shelf's crib when he came in. I knew, instantly, that he was dangerous, but I tried to keep cool.

"Hey boss, this is-"

"The F.N.G. I know. Out, everyone. Except you, newbie."

The other boys bounced as I stared at the man who controlled Southside.

Until he pulled a small roll of bills and flicked it over.

"Consider it a signing bonus."

He left silently. It was a full G, so I took the boys to the Pink Siren for the night.

The following day, I found out it was a test.

That I passed. 

F For Frank

I saw Frank and Diane argue on Friday night at the bar, as much as I wish I hadn't. But it was impossible not to hear every word.

Which made it all the weirder when I walked into the bar on Saturday night to find Frank nursing a double Jack and coke, alone.

I sat down near him and couldn't help myself.

"You couldn't last a day?"

He looked at me, confused.

"Last night, Diane told you she was sick of you being here."

"No she didn't, she told me I should come here every night!"

I explained sarcasm, slowly. 

E For Energy

My flatmate staggered into the apartment, one arm holding a half empty bottle of vodka, the other a half passed out girl. I tried to look calm and awake.

"Evening Eddie. Good party?"

"It was ok. Although I thought you needed to study?"

"I do! The exam is tomorrow!"

"Yet you were asleep when I came in."

Before I could think of a retort, the girl pulled a tiny bag of pills out of her pocket and tossed it over.

"Energy."

"Trust her, she's a medical student!"

Needing to study, I took it.

Then studied the 'colors' for eight hours. 

D For Division

I was trying to fill out my D57-L form when Stacy from Marketing came into my office and, through tears, told me she had to leave the company. I was stunned, but after a few gentle questions got nowhere, I had to agree and began the paperwork.

But later that day, Elena from IT, Janet from Accounting, and Kim from the front desk all tended their resignations, in tears.

And then Richard came in and tended his, whistling, saying his work here was done. Something about sowing division via sowing something else, apparently? I was too busy with the paperwork.