Uncle Puzzlesmith

The service was solemn and dignified, albeit scarcely attended. Afterwards, my uncle's lawyer spoke to me briefly to ensure I was coming to see him the next day to deal with his will.

When I got there, I was briefly surprised to find I was alone, until the lawyer explained I was the sole heir.

"But there is a complication. Your uncle wanted to ensure you were, quote, 'worthy' of his estate, and insisted you must solve a puzzle to receive it."

He slid a page towards me. I looked at it.

"2?"

"Correct. Your uncle didn't specify difficulty, thankfully."

Looped Around The Neck

After the initial few cycles, once I was convinced I was in one of these Groundhog Day type cycles, I did what you'd expect. I found a pretty solid betting loop to get lots of cash in a couple hours, did that for a few decades. 

Then I fell into a funk, just like in the movie. But I only tried to off myself once, when that didn't work, I skipped ahead a bit, I didn't try multiple times.

But I didn't bother trying to improve myself either.

I'm still finding new ways to kill people, it's still so fulfilling...

Open Mart

The car pulled into the parking lot at quite a clip, braking hard just before hitting the dumpster.

After a minute a woman staggered out, blood dripping off one arm, her dress torn, a shotgun gripped in her good arm. She limped into the store, grabbing a bottle of 'Premium' rotgut, and a then a bag of gummi fruits that was half off since they were three weeks out of date.

She slammed them down on the counter and then threw a twenty next to them, the numbers only just visible through the blood.

We made eye contact, and we had quite a conversation in that moment, with no words. At least, I assume I understood her, I wasn't going to risk actually speaking to seek clarification, given the shotgun that she held tighter than anything other than the pack of gummis.

I rang the purchase up, gave her her change, which she put into the charity tin, along with a few more drops of her blood, and then she took her purchases and left.

Of course, none of that happened, as you can see on the security camera footage, other than the few minutes where it stopped working, somehow.

Lake Entanglement

At first, it didn't matter that the lake wasn't technically part of the four countries that would have met in the middle of it. In fact, not belonging to any of them solved the problem about deciding who owned fishing rights.

Then came the earth tremor, and the lake drained. And before anyone could even set a date for a meeting, someone had staked a tent and was quickly building a home where the lake had been.

This shouldn't have been a problem either, as he was a troublemaker, and no-one wanted to claim him either.

Then the oil flowed...

Sunset

I watched the sun drop behind the horizon, and considered my options.

Getting an antidote was out of the question, there was none within walking distance, at least the few steps I had left. Any substantial increase in my heart rate would be enough to spread the poison around enough.

But obviously sitting here all night seemed like a terrible idea, but then again, it was clear that it was the only one I had left.

Unless I-

A branch snapped behind me, a heavy footstep ringing out, causing me to swivel in shock and then slowly slump down, dead.

A Trap

I placed the last idol on the correct plinth and waited.

Just as I began to fear that I'd made a mistake, I heard the rumbling of ancient gears turning. The wall began to slowly lower, and I prepared to see the fruits of years of research.

I found the chamber, yes, but there were also about a dozen or so skeletons, and none of the relics, at least at first glance.

Then I saw the rucksack, bulging with relics.

...

I was surely quicker and more nimble then these losers, right?

I jumped forward at a not quick enough run.

Chocolate Or Vanilla?

I opened the door, expecting a door to door scam artist or something.

Instead it was him. Holding a large, thin box. He opened it after a moment, revealing a sheet cake, with a short message of apology on it.

His expression slowly switched from pride to confusion to worry. Eventually, I sighed, then spoke.

"You honestly think this is enough?"

"Well it's a start, isn't it?"

"I don't need a start. I would need to know, to truly know, that you wouldn't break my heart again.

Can you put that on a cake?"

"Yes?"

I closed the door quickly.

Lost In Time, Lost In Space

The two heroes had thwarted all of his evil plans, so after another last second escape, he planned, and he used his master stroke.

One of them, he stuck in space, lost in time, and the other he stuck in time, lost in space. Forever separating them, and ensuring he could carry out his diabolical plans in peace.

Except...

He didn't really think through having someone able to see all of time freely, having another able to be anywhere at one point in time, and the two able to meet up, communicate, and just keep changing the timeline for good.

Dear Homeowner

She left the note on the hook where i hung my keys, ensuring I saw it first thing.

I read it, growing increasingly stunned as I realised this was a 'Dear John' letter about my being too boring for her. It ended with her saying she was heading back home.

As I rushed to my car, I quickly worked out how she'd get there. Given her fear of flying, her inability to drive, and her lack of funds, had to be a bus. So I rushed to the terminal.

Thus, not noticing the discount train ticket flyer in the trash.

Day & Night

Enough of the members of the Alliance had day/night cycles that all Alliance starships ran on a 10 on, 10 off system that didn't suit anyone but didn't ruin anyone either.

This would cause problems, as in space, most things didn't care about doing things on such a schedule.

So it evolved into less a day/night cycle and just two equal teams taking turns running the ship.

Unfortunately, as much as day/night cycles were ubiquitous enough to warrant their implementation, the only thing more ubiquitous was arbitrary divisions leading to competition, which inevitably led to attempted sabotage.

The Creature

I held my breath as the stomping got closer to the door.

The stomping stopped just outside the door, and I could feel the floor shift as the creature stood just outside the closet, the floorboards raising slightly under my feet, but not by much.

My heart skipped a beat as the handle rattled, the creature trying, with difficulty, to open the door.

I quickly tried to consider my options. The only thing I could think of was-

The door opened, and the creature looked up at me.

"Found you Daddy! Now you look for me!"

It ran off quickly.

Shot Chaser

I placed the bottle on the table, and then drank the contents of my glass in one long, slow gulp.

As I put the glass down, she picked up the bottle and rotated it in her hands.

"I don't understand how you humans drink poison for pleasure."

"It's not poison. Not really. Alcohol makes things just feel... Better. Loosens the inhibitions, lowers pain..."

She stared at the bottle for a moment, considering my words.

"And the cyanide is, what do you call it, a chaser?"

"What?" I asked, slurring, as I fell over to the floor.

"That good?" She asked.