Hardy Winery Shiraz 2010

It wasn't a big earthquake by any standard, 4.3 on the scale, apparently. But it was enough to knock over one of my new wine racks, which dominoed the rest of them, sending all of them crashing to the floor.

Only one bottle survived. And sure, insurance covered everything, but that one bottle, it became my symbol of survival. I kept it front and center, and it kinda brought me comfort, in a weird way.

And now, as I lay here, about to die, I finally opened it and drank it.

Turns out it was a counterfeit but that's ok.

Froganomics

He rushed into the room and stood where I couldn't avoid seeing him but where I could still see the TV screen as I played.

"You know who Michigan J. Frog is, right?"

I quickly apologised and muted my mic before I spoke.

"Um, he's that dancing and singing from from Disney, right?"

"Looney Tunes, well Merrie Melodies technically, but still, I realised his story is a perfect analogy!"

"For?"

"Well, the guy finds him, right, and rather than just enjoy him as a novelty, he keeps trying to commercialise him. Just like side-hustling hobbies!"

I returned to my streaming. 

Human Resources

I got just outside the door of my former employer, and then it all hit me and I fell to my knees, my box of personal items spilling all over the sidewalk.

As tears began to fall down my face, I heard familar steps behind me. I turned my head and saw Simon approaching me.

We'd been so much together, even though he was a security guard and I had been a VP. I looked up at him, a faint smile starting to form.

"Sir, you're blocking the doorway, please move before I call the police."

That completely ruined me.

Australian Coffee

I thought the tour of the office was done, with only thirteen people making comments about my Australian accent.

But my new manager made a point to show me to the break room, which looked like every office break room you've ever seen. But she was very proud of herself as she told me about how she'd had a couple Australians at her last job, and that she knew how important good coffee is to us, and she showed me the new machine she'd put in.

So now I'm forced to drink coffee all day, and I still hate it.

A New Earth

We landed on the surface three years to the day after we left Earth. At first, everyone was focused on the thousands of tasks it took to build the settlement that we didn't really care that the messages from Earth had stopped.

But the day after the party when we grew the first potato on this new planet, thoughts turned to Earth and it's silence.

We sent back messages across all frequencies, not just the restricted ones.

Three months later, we got a reply, from what Humanity had become.

We had a bit under three years to prepare for attack.

Soothing Destruction

I heard horrible crunchy noises coming from my son's room, so I looked in, finding him lying on his bed, looking at his phone, the source of the noise.

"What's causing that noise?"

"I'm watching industrial grinder videos."

"What are they grinding?"

"Scrap metal, electronics, stuff like that."

"Why?"

"Mostly they're reclaiming metals and-"

"No, why are you watching them?"

He paused for a moment, clearly needing a moment to find the words.

"I like watching something get destroyed."

I shook my head and walked out, back to my Mancave to watch the 59's totally murder the last placed team. 

Meltdown

A lot of people talk about that moment where some small inconvenience happened that set them off and triggered a full breakdown.

I was at that point myself as I grabbed my last can of beer from the fridge. Fired from my job, girlfriend leaving me for another man, my dog missing for a week at that point, I was on my last thread.

And then when I opened the beer, it sprayed out all over me.

But before I could have my meltdown, I noticed it was green, which meant I had won a major prize.

Meltdown avoided.

Briefly.