Right To Legal Council

He was just another low level pot seller, caught in a sweep of the 'problem area' of the city.

But he asked for a lawyer, and rather than a public defender, arguably the most high profile lawyer in the city turned up.

'Just keeping my hand in' he told the cops, who all began to focus on this singular drug dealer, looking for a connection to the crime boss the lawyer worked for.

They didn't find any, nor did they notice the other drug dealer they picked up in the sweep had plenty of serious connections to that crime boss.

Safe And Impressed

Up until I saw the safe, I had been impressed with the security the target had. Top of the line NCMS Protector Platinum control system with a dozen cameras in every room, floor sensors, the works. Took me a whole twenty minutes to disable it.

A few back-up systems I had to avoid, and I got to the safe, and it was a Lockett Keepsafe XL100! A safe I could open with a sneeze!

But then I opened it, and saw the almost perfect false back, that regained some points.

Then when pulling it blew me up, really fucking impressive.

Misaligned Jones

I was at the range, trying out the new Burman .67 semi-auto, when Misaligned Jones came in. He nodded as I looked over, so I went to ask him something, but he cut me off.

"The name, right, Greenhorn?"

I nodded. He sighed.

"I always make my iron sights slightly off, different every mission."

"Why?"

"So that if an enemy manages to break through your line, they can't use my weapons against me."

"What if we need them?"

"If you need my weapons, I'm dead, so I don't care about you."

"That's not in line with regulations."

"Hence the name."

Ringer

He looks old, hunched over, and with tears in his eyes, as he approaches you.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this any more."

He grabbed your hand, and a ring on his finger somehow switches from his finger to yours. He smiles, as if a weight was lifted from his mind, before he dropped dead. Multiple strokes and heart attacks simultaneously, they say.

You can't get the ring off, but once you realise that it's making you immortal, you don't mind.

Then you start having to move a lot, change your name, see loved ones die.

You understand him.

Over 30 Minutes

I couldn't help but complain as I opened the door.

"Two hours is a long time to wait for a pizza, I-"

I paused when I saw the cop standing there with two pizza boxes and a bottle of sugar-free cola.

"I didn't know this was a themed restaurant."

"Sir, did you order the Deluxe Combo and ask for 'Extra Spice and Extra Sauce'?"

"Um, yes? It's my first time ordering from them, there a problem?"

The cop stared at me, and then handed them over and left.

I'd have not ordered from them again, but it was good pizza.

The Evil Plan

She looked up at me, as the timer on the bomb she was tied to counted down.

"Can't you at least tell me what your plan is going to be?"

I laughed.

"Since you're going to die, yes? Shouldn't I get the chance to gloat? Well, normally I'd leave you to die and not indulge, but honestly, there is no evil plan here. I'm just blowing up this base because you found it."

I wasn't prepared for her to smile and relax back against the bomb.

"Fine then."

I started to demand answers from her until the bomb went off.

Unharmed

I heard the small gasp of disgusted terror in the other room, and walked in quickly to find her staring at my board game shelving.

"What's the matter?"

"I just saw a huge cockroach scamper behind there!"

"Oh, is Rupert out and about? Fine, I'll-"

"You named it?"

"Well, yeah, since if I name and avoid killing it, I can claim I only have one."

She made a face.

"That's really stupid, you obviously don't have just one!"

"Yeah, but it's part of the ecosystem. Next you'll complain about the harmless spiders up there."

She looked up and screamed again.