On Target

I poured the small vial of poison into the glass.

"Service!"

I turned. The waiter saw that it was me and quickly softened their tone.

"Sorry sir, I was looking for the... Yes, now!"

I turned back around to see the tray of wine glasses being picked up and carried away, out into the room.

I tried to watch it, but lost track, and stared at the glass I was soon handed.

Turns out, the odds of being given the poisoned glass were the same as my target having an unrelated heart attack which made me think I had succeeded.

Ruined Walk

I placed the ball on the tee and prepared to swing.

I tried to put everything else out of my mind, but it was impossible. The rejection from all my so-called friends who had oh so convenient excuses to bail on me. My probably soon to be ex-girlfriend who thought that a few cancellations meant I should spend the day with her. And my family, who still thought this was a stupid game to play.

But I had to try to ignore that, and enjoy myself.

I swung, hit the ball, and got a hole in one.

That no-one witnessed.

Following The Script

The hostage taker picked up the phone.

"Are you alright?"

The hostage taker sighed.

"Look, I get you have a script to run through, but we'll all get through this quicker if you don't try to build a rapport and just get me what I want."

There was a brief pause.

"Very well, what is it that you want?"

"Detective Gerald Anderson."

"I'm sorry?"

"He killed my wife. I want him to come in here."

"To do what?"

"Talk."

The sound of a shotgun being locked was audible over the phone.

Detective Gerald Anderson hung up and ordered the breach. 

Witness Your Death

"Behold! Your death!"

I saw what looked like me, albeit much older, on an operating table, flatlining.

I looked at the interdimensional entity, and then raised a hand.

"You don't need to-"

"This, like, the probable outcome or-"

"No, this is how you die. We perceive things in 6 dimensions and-"

"Prove it."

It tilted its head, then pulled a gun from somewhere on it and placed it on the table.

"Examine."

I looked it over, and it seemed to be a real gun. I handed back.

"And volia!"

He shot me.

I died, but at least I was right.

Running The Math

I had just got the second tumbler in the safe when the phone rang behind me.

I froze, as much to stop myself setting off the safe's burgler alarm as it was indecision.

In a split second, I ran through the math, where if I let it ring it would probably wake up the owner, but if I cut it off now there's a chance they'd investigate and be alerted anyway.

In the end, I reached our before the second ring and picked up.

"Happy 60th birthday!"

Given the first two numbers had been the date, I ran the math.

Unclean Fighting

I stared at the footnote near the end of the report for several moments before I ordered a secure telelink with the author.

Once the interplanetary link was established, I asked how sure they were about their beliefs we were 'unclean'.

"Very, one of our escape pods in Sector 480 landed on one of their farming planets, and they leveled the whole planet like they've been doing to our-"

I hung up and immediately ordered suicide missions to get people down onto their most important planets. If they were willing to do our fighting for us, why not let them?

Why The Push

I was just getting to the part where the detective was going to reveal who did it when a shadow passed over my book.

I looked up out of mild annoyance when I saw them staring at the sea far below the cliff face.

"I come here to read because almost no-one else comes here." I hazarded. They turned around, tears still running down their face.

"Ever realise everything would be better if you were gone?"

"No, because that's not true. For either of us."

They blinked back a couple tears, then looked at my book.

"The maid did it."

Frryt Pof Slll

I'd been staring at the empty page for far too long, in-between far too long walks and far too long meals.

I could hear the clock behind me, but I refused to turn around and look at it, just like the sixteen past times I'd refused to turn around and look at it, and just magically had a sense of the time.

A few moments later, I slammed my hand down on the keyboard a couple times.

I rubbed my temples, then looked at the page.

Frryt pof slll

I corrected it to "First of all" and just kept going.

Bat Away

It had been centuries, but finally a lone, lost traveller had entered the castle of The Vampire. The local villages had finally grown just lax enough in their warnings, the idea of a monster in the castle laughable in the age of computers.

The Vampire's thralls welcomed him, posing as the servants. They fed him with fresh venison and very old wine, and then shown him to the guest room. There, The Vampires' beautiful children would seduce him, to begin preparing him for feasting.

Unfortunately, turns out beauty standards have changed enough that the traveller was confused, rather than aroused...

Moral Code

He suddenly pulled a knife and swung it at my head. But, since I was assuming he would try something, I was ready, and ducked.

Unfortunately his swipe took out one of the ropes, and after a second, a second one snapped, and the basket tipped over as the hot air balloon swung wildly.

The end result saw him tangled and dangling from that cut rope, while I hung onto the basket.

He then laughed as he swung.

"I see we're heading to power lines, you'll need to sacrifice-"

"Circumstances change, recalculate."

He looked confused as I kicked him off.

Just Trying To Help

It had been several universes since i last felt a mortal mind touch, ever so lightly, the higher level of existence.

So I focused and examined the mind. I found a mortal on a planet the mortal's kind were killing. The mortal was looking for answers, an explanation for everything. Trillions do, but this one had spent most of their relatively short life focusing, and I was feeling generous, and so I placed in their mind unshakable truth. I explained that everything is chance, and whim.

I thought they'd understand to make the most of it, but they seemed angry.