Not My Terms

The spotlight was harsh in my eyes, as I stood in the center of everyone's attention.

I had wanted this, from as early as I could remember, I'd wanted the attention of everyone.

But not like this.

I'd wanted the attention on my terms, with the barriers I'd built between me and them, to present what I wanted to be seen to them all, and to have most love me for it, given I wasn't so egotistical as to expect universal acceptance.

Instead I stood, defenceless.

I didn't get universal acceptance, but those who did accept me I didn't want.