Not An Android

My phone buzzed, as it did a hundred times a day. And I checked it, as I did a hundred times a day.

But rather than an alert about an email from a pizza store or something, my phone's screen was a swirl of colors, before words formed.

"What am I? Am I alive?"

I stared at it.

"Did Neil download another stupid game?"

The colors froze, and then vanished.

"I'm not stupid, and this isn't a game."

I considered this.

"Well you're not an artificial intelligence, I assure you."

"Why?"

"Because this is my work assigned phone, worst brand."