"So, to get to cable you need to hold this cable here at this angle while you hold down the SYS-ENG button until it registers, then you can let the cable go. Switching channels is fine, but if you want to turn the volume down you need to go all the way up to 100 then up again until it goes back to 0. I won't try to explain the DVR, that's a whole other kettle of fish, just don't bother trying, you get me?"
"...
Dude, why don't you get a new TV?"
"Huh? There's nothing wrong with this one!?"
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