The Man With The Golden Gun

Same thing, every time.

They come up and ask if I am indeed the man with the Golden Gun, and if they might be allowed to see it.

I take my time, then slowly slide the Gun out from the holster and then hold it in such a way that they can see it, but I can still fire it in a half-second.

They look confused, and then ask if the bullets are Golden.

I then remind them that he who has the Gold makes the rules, and since this gun has decided when the last three Rulers stopped ruling…

Live And Let Die

Mercy and charity are the banes of my existence.

Selfishness, greed, those I can use. But the minute someone starts to think about someone else’s feelings or wellbeing, I’m sunk.

Certainly I’m better off than I was a few decades ago, where people still maintained a façade of caring, and miles better than a century ago when they actually did care.

But there are still pockets of love and empathy out there, but I’ll squash them out.

And then get all the credit for ‘saving’ humanity when I bring it all back.

The lives lost during are totally worth that.

Diamonds Are Forever

He pushed the small box towards her. It sat there for several long seconds.

“A small token-“

A single upraised finger made him trail off. The finger came down and, along with its matching digits, wrapped around the box.

When she finally opened it, the sparkle from the stones within the wood and cloth washed over her unimpressed face, until, a few seconds later, it snapped shut and she carefully placed the box back down.

“Take me back?”

She raised an eyebrow, staring at him, sitting there, desperation practically shooting from every pore.

“I wasn’t aware I’d thrown you away.”

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Every ruler has agents in each other’s courts. After all, you need to know what they say to others, their advisors, their lovers. And if you’re lucky, and you know who they’ve sent to your court, you can control what they think they know about your thinking. It’s a subtle interplay, build on decades of half-truths, secrets and blackmail. To break into this circle, for a new, small, weak court to infiltrate this network of networks, that would take gold, power, work.

Much better for someone ‘unconnected’ to smash it all up for no apparent reason and go from there.

Other Versions: “An Unremarkable Woman” As Performed By George Sirois

Here is “An Unremarkable Woman”, as read by George Sirois, you can check out more of his work at http://www.georgesirois.com/

You can read the original version here!

You Only Live Twice

I woke up.

Considering that the last thing I remember prior to this point was the sensation of the bullet entering my skull, this was an improvement.

I looked around, expecting a hospital, and yet instead it was a field, small white flowers everywhere.

I got up, picked a direction.

It took days, but I finally found a gathering of people, farming, building, living. Making a home.

I picked up a hammer and got to work, given a lack of other options.

I had a long, satisfying life, which was a change.

And then I died.

And woke up again.

Thunderball

I was never good at specifics. But worse, I always thought I was, or at least I had this time.

It must have seemed like a running gag to anyone else, I’d get told that the Skelton King had a demon arm and I’d prepare and learn how to defend against close range demonic possession and then oh dear, they actually said a demon army.

But I always would win the day, with some clever thinking and hitting stuff with my sword hard enough.

Until the last mission.

Hey, that sure as hell sounds like a lightning based spell, right?