Dr. Kangles And Professor Interspion

The two of them had been thrown out of almost every scientific group in the world, given their slightly different but basically similar theories about time travel, and they were forced to share resources while working independently.

Across the years, they had an agreement that once one of them had cracked it, the first trip had to be to go back and tell the other to stop bothering at the point the other was on the right track.

Dr. Kangles instead made his first trip to kill baby Professor Interspion.

Where he was killed by troops of World Emperor Interspion.

Pyramid Scheme

"There are plenty of obvious signs to indicate that aliens impacted several ancient societies."

I sighed.

"Such as?"

"Well, see how many of them built pyramids, and similar structures. Why else would they all do this?"

"Because it's the easiest way to build large structures with limited resources?"

He glared at me.

"That sounds like alien talk to me!"

"Why would aliens bother dealing with insignificant nobodies like you?"

"I'd go after everyone who was a threat, no matter how minor!"

"Well maybe you're the alien then!"

He stared at me until his skin broke and he went after me.

Five's A Party

They were lined up against the wall, the four of them.

The firing squad were lined up, Forcebolt wanda aiming at their heads. The Guard Captain raised his hand.

The Paladin called out to stop, she had to finish her prayer. The squad waited.

The Guard Captain raised his hand.

The Ranger screamed, and asked for a blindfold. The squad waited.

Hand went up. The Rogue asked for a cigarette. The squad waited.

The Mage just stared at the Guard Captain as they raised and lowered their hand.

The Bard, still impersonating the Guard Captain, snuck out with the Loot.

Fists

They had three fistfights across thirty-five years.

The first was when they were nine and eleven respectively. Rick got a John Diaz rookie card in his baseball card pack, and Chuck wanted it. Chuck won.

The second was ten years later. Rick found Chuck in bed with his girlfriend, and was, somewhat understandably, upset about it. Rick won, although his girlfriend left him, so Chuck viewed it as a moral victory.

The third fight, twenty-five years after that one, was over a ultra-rare signed mint John Diaz rookie card worth thousands. Rick's wife won, since Chuck got life for murder.

Time Experience

She was holoreading when he came in.

"Oh, hello, welcome to the Time Zone. What time period would you like to experience today?"

He shook his head.

"I... What? I just built my time machine, I... No, wait, I've gone ahead in time, of course."

She sighed and approached him.

"Ah, no, you're just suffering from displacementia, it's common after your first time under Time Zone's proprietary technology, I'll just-"

She froze when she saw no mark on his arm.

"Date you came from?"

"Uh, 25/11/2068."

"We don't have that yet!"

She reached in and took his brain.

Crossfire

The two thieves, hidden in the basement, could hear the sheriff and his men just outside the shack. Orders being given, a perimeter formed, lines made.

They waited, pistols drawn, waiting for them to kick down the door, or order them to come out.

Instead, they heard gunshots, hundreds of them, and lots of shouting, until eventually, silence.

The sheriff crawled into the shack, blood oozing from several wounds, but a native came in, slit his throat, and left.

The thieves were safe.

Or would have been, if they hadn't shot each other to save themselves from dying slow like.

Drivers

The driver behind got distracted by their phone for just a second, but enough to run into the car ahead of them.

The driver ahead got angry by being run into the back of, but enough self-control remained not to charge out.

The driver behind got on the offensive, but not enough to convince the other driver they were in the wrong.

The driver ahead got angry even more, but only just stood yelling at the driver behind.

The driver coming up later got both of them, but they were only worth ten points each because they weren't paying attention.

Old Angel

The Angel appeared in a blinding light, thankfully appearing like how we think they look now, rather than the monstrosity that the Bible describes.

"Human!"

I glanced around to make sure I was the only one there.

"Your God commands you!"

I waited for the rest of it.

"To do what?" I eventually asked. The Angel pulled a flaming sword.

"Your son has slept with another man! You must kill them both to cleanse the world!"

"And if I refuse?"

The Angel flickered to looking how the Bible described them, and I understood why people did as told back then.

Death's Feelings

After I failed to kill him for the fifth time, and I was tired, I summoned Death.

Death took the form of a young girl this time, licking a black lollipop.

"Yeah?"

"I've been trying to kill Rasgiven. He refuses to die."

"Yeah. OK. So?"

I stared at her.

"You... Don't you want to help take him down? Don't you want to claim him?"

She shrugged.

"If someone has worked out how to avoid me, I applaud them for it. I get plenty of you, I don't need everyone. You're good enough."

"What do you mean I'm-"

Rasgiven killed me.

Lasting Words

Everyone had a unique voice.

You wouldn't think so, given how few words everyone had, but you still could sense people's personality, even in just a handful of words.

You had the serious but optimistic people who listed the details so they can be found later

You had the jokesters who were denying what was happening, ordering a pizza or giving bust measurements or something.

But in all of them, it's 57GH-8 that gets me, that said simply "I don't want to go."

Very apt gravemarker statement, I thought. Turns out it was a reference to a human TV show.

Powerful Changes

I found a way to power my abilities way past my usual limits, via burning out alternate universes. I take a bunch of them and destory them, a million at a time, and my powers over people and things is increased tenfold.

But then I found myself running out of alternate universes. So I needed to create a bunch, preferably ones with massive changes.

So I set up a nuclear bomb, deep underground, powerful enough to destroy the world. It would go off only if the ten thousand digit random number generator manages to...

What the hell's that rumbling noise?

A Good Stabbing

As far as stabbings go, it was not the worst. It missed all my vital organs, and there wasn't any poison or ragged edges to tear and rip as I pulled the knife out.

But that just left the blood, the hole, and one pouring out of the other.

I needed assistance, I needed to get help as soon as possible. But that wasn't going to happen, not with him still standing before me, his expression clouded by the fact I wasn't down.

But now I had a knife.

As far as stabbings go, it was pretty good, for me.

Perfect Trap

It was the perfect trap. Signs and radio signals saying it was a safe house from the zombies, an obvious safe walkway over a bridge over spikes to give the illusion of safety, then a tiny hole to climb through, then the floor would gjve way, dropping them into the lower room, full of zombies to eat them up. Escape would be impossible. He could then pick up the supplies left outside. Perfect!

Perfect, except that the first person through got stuck. So he had to go push.

And they grabbed him and pulled him through.

And yep, escape? Impossible.

Fall Guy

I could have killed him. The knife pierced his skin, cut through the upper layers of muscle, a little further into his heart and he would have died, and it would have been 100% my fault.

Not deliberately, you understand. I wouldn't have intended to kill him, I just lashed out and stabbed him accidentally. If that had killed him, I'd have felt so guilty, so terrible.

But, thankfully, the stabbing didn't kill him, he pulled the knife out, then tumbled backwards and fell over the railing and fell twenty stories to his death.

So glad the fall killed him.

Needed Upgrade

After a few hours, the robot turned back on after the update. I waited for it to give the usual spiel about all their new features and improvements, but it didn't.

Instead it just stood there. After a while, I went to press the update button, when the robot grabbed my arm and twisted. I shouted, trying to pull it out, until the robot leaned in, its eyes going red.

"You are an unauthorised user, alert! Alert!"

The lawsuit afterwards got the law changed to allow for transfer of ownership of robots, not that I cared given I was dead.

The Place Where Children Died

Where the stars met the sky, there was The Place Where Children Died.

When the child begins to become a non-child, they must be taken to The Place.

Whoever is the medicine user at the time, must accompany the non-child to The Place.

Whatever the season of the land, whatever the season of the sky, whatever the season of The Place, the non-child is to be shown the weapons, tools, and requirements of being an adult in the tribe.

When this has been done, the non-child either agrees to be an Adult, or they do not return.

Hence the name.

Clean And Tidy

The robot had its task, keep the property clean. And with its solar recharge station, it could, and did, do it indefinitely. When the paint flaked off the walls of the house, it cleaned them up. When the walls came down, it cleaned them up too.

As years became decades, the property stayed clean, tidy. Eventually humanity began to expand back towards the cities, and the robot was found.

The settlers tried to reprogram the robot, but just changed its parameters.

When the blood was shed, it cleaned it up. When the bodies piled up, it cleaned them up too.

Cold

The storm lashed the windows, the house lights flickering on and off with every gust of wind.

Every time the darkness came back, he pulled a little away from the circle, content to let them drink and smoke. Soon he was alone, exploring this house all by himself. The coat rack gave him a fright, as did the kitchen door.

But then, accompanied by a crash of lightning, he heard a scream, cut off. He rushed back to the party, and they were all dead.

He realised none of them had worn a jacket just as the killer struck him.

Shapeshifter Collector

It was a machine that appeared in various places, at various times, with various brightly colored signage.

Sometimes it offered a free beverage for a simple quiz. Sometimes it was a touchscreen only ATM. Every four years it was a voting booth.

It just moved about, collecting fingerprints, each one stored in non-powered memory banks. Looking, searching, seeking out one that matched the one in its ROM.

The A.I didn't know what would happen when it found them, that subroutine was hidden. It had hoped it could convey a message.

Instead it blew up, killing the shapeshifting alien using it.

The Old Witches' Cottage

The old witches' house wasn't actually anything to do with witches, it was just an old shack just on the edge between the village and the forest. No-one knew why it was called that, but what everyone knew but pretended they didn't was that it was where teenagers hung out, smoked a little, maybe fooled around. It kept them out of the way, and safe.

That is, until the day there was a party there, every teenager in town piled in, and then they all vanished.

They were last spotted near that nice clean cottage on the edge of town.