Dr. Kangles And Professor Interspion

The two of them had been thrown out of almost every scientific group in the world, given their slightly different but basically similar theories about time travel, and they were forced to share resources while working independently.

Across the years, they had an agreement that once one of them had cracked it, the first trip had to be to go back and tell the other to stop bothering at the point the other was on the right track.

Dr. Kangles instead made his first trip to kill baby Professor Interspion.

Where he was killed by troops of World Emperor Interspion.

Prophecy Problems

There were two problems with the prophecy. One was that for all its detail about the name, appearance, and skills of the one destined to overthrow the tyrannical King Ciker and usher in a new government, it lacked a timeframe or date.

The second problem was that everyone knew of the prophecy, and thus that name was given to every child that vaguely fit the description, most of whom grew up to die storming the castle.

The fact the prophecy was completely untrue wasn't a problem as much as it was the point, that's why King Ciker had it made.

Projecting An Image

The Princess had been locked in the tower for a week, but she was still polite to the servants.

On the 8th day, the maid quietly had a word with her.

"I appreciate that this isn't the ideal start to the relationship, but Master is actually a nice man, he just needs to portray an image of ruthlessness to discourage enemy attacks."

The Princess nodded at this, as the maid continued.

"Now, I'm sure you disbelieve me, but I-"

"Why should I disbelieve you? You're lying? Shame!"

The maid burst into tears, knowing she'd get the whip for failure now.

Symbolism

The arrow was the one that killed King Brek. It was pulled out of his neck, and given it had maintained its shape but was blood soaked, it made for a perfect symbol of the new Republic.

It was framed and hung above the throne, as a reminder to all that the throne would remain empty, and why.

But then, Suvia claimed the Goddess had chosen her to rule, she claimed that the throne was hers.

After a long battle, she captured the throne, and when she sat down, the arrow fell.

And landed in her hand, proving her point.

Shapeshifter Collector

It was a machine that appeared in various places, at various times, with various brightly colored signage.

Sometimes it offered a free beverage for a simple quiz. Sometimes it was a touchscreen only ATM. Every four years it was a voting booth.

It just moved about, collecting fingerprints, each one stored in non-powered memory banks. Looking, searching, seeking out one that matched the one in its ROM.

The A.I didn't know what would happen when it found them, that subroutine was hidden. It had hoped it could convey a message.

Instead it blew up, killing the shapeshifting alien using it.

A Boondoggle

The Otherplane Emperor turned his many eyes to the mortal standing on the outcrop of rock above the unending void the Pretender To His Throne was now tumbling through.

"You have done me a great service, Mortal. As is custom, I grant you one favor, as those who-"

"Oh, complete control over my home planet, please."

The Otherplane Emperor paused slightly.

"That is within my power, but in the past mortals have asked for loved ones to be-"

"Nah, power and riches, cheers."

The Otherplane Emperor killed the mortal, not willing to risk giving a being like that more power.

Power People

The problem with power is people.

Not so much that there will inevitably be an uprising and evil will be vanquished and all those other stories told to make people feel better. Because evil wins most of the time.

The problem is that people are not reliable, not predictable. Yes, you never know when a populist rabble-rouser turns out to be corruptible, but the more common switch is when a peon suddenly develops a conscious or falls in love or something.

The first reliable robot army will be the last new conquerors. Although hacking may mean this isn't strictly true.

Lucky End

Luckily for historians, the end of his reign was dramatic, which always makes for good analysis in books.

Luckily for theologians, the end of his reign was public, which always makes for easy explanation in sermons.

Luckily for guardsmen, the end of his reign was accidental, which always makes for easy buck-passing in reviews.

Luckily for accountants, the end of his reign was on solstice, which always makes for easy record keeping in ledgers.

Luckily for maids, the end of his reign happened, which always makes for easy trips in dark hallways.

The Queen made her own luck, via 'accident'.

Let Them Eat This

The mob, once riled, needed something to sate them.

Obviously, if you could ask them collectively, and get a comprehendable response, you could then provide them with what they wanted, in this case something approximate to the Queen's head on a stake.

One solution would be to raid the Royal treasures. Even the most ardent revolutionary takes a moment to reconsider when tossed a ruby the size of their fist. But this is expensive.

So in the end, the Queen sated their calls with arrows and blades.

Which works, short term. But it's a meal you have to keep serving.

Humanity's Ego

The first Human to break lightspeed stood on the observation deck of the Galactic Government Central Station, awaiting to be called.

When the Liaison Officer approached, they did not respond, transfixed as below them, hundreds of races intermingled peacefully.

"Inspiring?"

The Human shook their head.

"I'm worried, my people, we nearly tore ourselves apart multiple times over, but there was always this overriding sense of importance, of specialness. This will be a challenge."

The Liaison Officer laughed.

"Every one of those races thought they were special, unique. Humanity will be fine."

But Humanity was special, just in a negative sense...

Dead Man's Curve

It could have been avoided.

Everyone knew that corner was dangerous, it had the nickname of Dead Man's Curve after all.

It could have been avoided.

The first time a wagon almost went off, they put up a wooden barricade, for all the good it would do.

It could have been avoided.

Successful governments and departments updated the supports after every near miss.

It could have been avoided.

It had the best ones available, strong steel and heavy concrete.

It could have been avoided.

But someone abused and driven to suicide and driving straight off?

It could have been avoided.

Regime Change

The new Leader of the Free World had only just finished redecorating their office when the riots kicked off in the region of the world that the Free World has been fighting in for many years.

They'd gotten elected, in part, on a platform of moving to end these wars and failed regime changes. So when they were told that, in fact, the track record for successful regime change was actually quite high, that people only noticed their involvement in failures, they politely but firmly asked for proof of this.

First one in fifty years to see through that lie.

Left Over

I stared at the old-fashioned oil lamp in my hands as the, well, Genie, I guess, laid out the rules.

"Ok, so no bringing people back to life and no falling in love, fine, but-"

The Genie rolled its eyes.

"They always argue murder. Thousands of years and nothing has changed."

"But unwilling forced transportation is fine, yes?"

"Yes, Master."

I pulled out my phone, and after I showed the current state of the world, they agreed to transport a couple of billion people who voted for certain political parties to the moon, where they were alive. For a bit.

Judgement Calls

Being a palace guard is all about making judgement calls.

There's all the usual ones any solider has to deal with, judging the wind when aiming a bow, judging the heft of a sword as you swing it.

But you have to judge what you see younger members of the court doing, if what they indulge in is something to note or if it doesn't happen.

How far do you push the kitchenhand, how many sips can you steal, how many angry peasants are enough to switch sides and join the rebellion?

Important one for us civilians, that last one.

The Queen And The Chosen One

The Chosen One returned to the palace after he'd  defeated the Dragon, a crowd of the citizens following behind him cheering his name.

When he walked into the throne room, he was already licking his lips, awaiting his reward. The Queen gave a short speech to him, thanking him for his service, and then rewarded him a pile of gold.

He pointed out that she'd implied a much more personal and valuable prize before he left.

She pointed out she'd never actually promised anything, and that she had a hundred men outside.

He managed to take down fifty-six of them.

Selling War

Leaders always sell war as being quick, easy, profitable. You have to, for those who remember previous wars will remember how it was long, hard, expensive. Because war always is.

Of course, if you're a leader and it's been long enough that most of your people have forgotten the last war, you still have to sell it as quick, easy, profitable. Else who would want to ruin the joys of peace?

But that is what leaders are for, selling what needs to be sold.

The real problem comes when the leader actually believes the war will be quick, easy, profitable.

A Father's Pride

The Queen knelt before the King's tomb, the Royal Priest a few steps behind her.

"Father, it has been six months since you passed. I have done all I can to make you proud of me. You did not get to lead our troops into battle, alas, but I have taken the armies and I have conquered so much, so fast. It has not been easy, many people have died, but all in your name. I hope you... I just want my father to be proud of me."

Her actual father was a few steps behind her, unsheathing a dagger.

Cheating Death

He ruled the galaxy with a black hole fist, subjugating systems with his seemingly endless waves of robotic supersoldiers. He demanded tribute, loyalty, worship.

But he was not immortal, despite all his plans. So after a particularly scrappy band of 'heroes' managed to mortally wound him, his medical droids placed him in suspended animation, so the decades of nanobotic work to repair and cure him could be done.

He awaits, silently, to be awoken to rule once again.

Which, given that he's now technically the only living thing in the universe at this point, will probably take a fair while.

Golden Ending

It has taken us a week to traverse through the dungeon. Along the way we had lost two pack mules, a servant, multiple magical items, and most of our will to live.

But we worked out the trick to open the final locked door (thankfully the ranger was up on his extinct flowers), and beyond which lay a giant room, filled with gold coins.

I instantly insisted we turn back. Because this was clearly either the lair of a dragon, or a king. But the rest of them insistedon looting.

Turned out to be a King Dragon in the end.

Dislike His Peers

Finding a suitable woman to marry my son is proving to be most vexing. After all, like any future peer of the realm, he cannot marry anyone beneath his station. However, above his station is mostly out of the question, due to a lack of eligible women he is not related to, or who are still far too new money.

So my husband and I have been working through the small number of women of equal standing who are available.

By the time we find one he'll be over this phase of wanting to love the woman, I'm quite sure.