Religious Argument

Like his fellow rational thinkers, he wished to unseat the various religious orders that held undue power. Unlike his fellow rational thinkers, however, he understood showmanship.

A few decades of clever arguments and factual logic had done little, but his loud proclaiming the Gods weren't real, in their own churches, then demanded he be struck down, with no smite? That got attention.

So much so that, upon getting advance warning of his next appearance, the priests set up a hidden, inescapable death trap, that only a miracle could save him from.

His survival led to much debate within religious circles.

The Perfect Perfect Storm

There are storms every day, somewhere out on the open seas. But none like this one.

A perfect storm happens every so often, but this made all of them look like they belonged in a teacup.

Waves taller than they were wide, winds faster than the waves, and a boat that was rusted and half sinking even before the storm hit.

The best captain in the world might just survive. Anyone lesser would surely perish.

I, being better than best, obviously pulled through unscathed.

Well, maybe it wasn't the worst storm ever, but it was still really bad, believe me!

The Straight Line

The line was scratched into the stone floor. Too straight to be accidental, too perfect a line directly between the throne and the door to be anything but a symbol. A symbol of how the Ruler of the land was connected to their people. That they were one and the same, that one could not exist without the other.

Plus those who sat in the throne were told of how it was formed, by the dragging of the then Royal Executioner's axe up to the throne and then used on the King, the last time said ruler forgot the connection.

All My Girlfriends' Script

"Hey hun, do you have time for a coffee?"

The details are different every time, but the general flow is the same.

"This isn't easy for me to say..."

It's so hard to dump me, apparently.

"You know how bad I am with this sort of thing."

I'm such a good guy, but just not right.

"The last few months have been the best of my life."

Women need to work on themselves, I help them realise this.

"And I know it's not the usual way, but we're unusual, so..."

Here it comes.

"Will you please marry me?"

Wait, what?

Humanist Nature

"I made it quite clear to the nurses that I didn't want any religious stupidity, thank you. Let me die in peace dammit!"

She sat down next to my bed.

"I'm a non-religious pastor, are you sure you-"

I snorted.

"Even worse, at least the other idiots can fall back on the skybeing of their choice for their stupidity."

She stared at me, then glanced at my chart.

"I'd say I'll see you tomorrow, but you're a goner, looks like."

"What? I'll show you sister! I'll be outta bed by then, you'll see!"

She walked out smiling for some reason.

Problem Solution

Lots of little boxes, sitting in a row.
Lots of little people, shifting to and fro.
Lots of little dreams, hoping against hope.
Lots of little sins, the only way to cope.
Lots of little loves, bright spots in dark.
Lots of little lives, lived with no real mark.
Lots of little minds, unable to see from above.
Lots of little hates, incapable of love.
Lots of little problems, looking for a scapegoat.
Lots of little tricks, lies with a paint coat.
Lots of little troubles, needing a solution.
One big fix, but it'll need a hell of an absolution.

I'm Tired

I'm just so tired.

I'm tired of having to be responsible, having to make sure the people who rely on me get through the day and remain happy, or at least not unhappy, which is not the same thing.

I'm tired of the crushing, ever present doom that hangs over us all, the knowledge that without immediate action the future will be horrible, and that the people who can do that are actively working against it.

I'm tired of not getting enough sleep too.

I'd do the obvious, but the only thing worse that being tired Is not waking up.