Cast

The Wizard had many wards in place to guard his tower.

So when the figure appeared in his bedroom, either his wards were imperfect, which obviously was impossible, or this being was extremely powerful.

The figure looked around until the saw The Wizard, and extended a hand out.

"Me! I mean, You! But you're Me! From the past! What's the date?"

The Wizard raised an eyebrow.

"7th of Winterfall, 1422."

The figure froze.

"1422? Did you misspeak?"

"No. It's 1422."

"But... I went forward? How? And why don't you remember this?"

"Oh I do." The Wizard said, casting Localised Firebolt.

A Sort Of Victory

Behind me, I heard the sound of his armor shifting as he took a battle stance.

I waited a moment in a vain hope that he'd attack some foe I couldn't sense. But no attack was forthcoming, and I knew he was waiting for me to turn around. So I spoke without doing so.

"All this time, and now you turn on me?"

"Turn around!"

"Just tell me why, please. I deserve-"

"You deserve nothing, but I'll give you an honorable death! Turn around!"

"No. You attack me from behind if you're-"

I felt the blade, and his honor vanish. 

Cave Of Fear

There's a cave up the mountain, where the children of the tribe were sent to become adults. Inside the cave, each child would face that which scared them the most. The air got into them and they saw the fears.

For the most part, that would be death, be it of their loved ones, or themselves. There was also those who got destruction, those who cared about the tribe, the world.

But those who had other fears, those were the ones we watched carefully. Unless their biggest fear was themselves. Those never came back down again.

Mysterious ways, you understand.

Self-Fixing Universe

As soon as we developed time travel that worked backwards, the debates began about what would happen if we tried to change history. Our first subtle attempts seemed to indicate a self-fixing universe, or possibly a predestined one, given that trying to alter a result seemed instead to confirm it.

But the discussions were long about how we could test things without risking everything, until Dr Jackson grabbed a gun and went back to shoot his grandfather.

When Dr Johnson returned with a story of the gunshot magically hitting someone other than his grandfather, we settled on the predestined theory.

Site Update

So just a heads up, in a few weeks I'm going to be going through a pretty massive upheaval in my life. I'll be moving, with a change in my living conditions, and all the other changes that come with such a huge change. I'm prepared, or at least as prepared as I can be, but there may well be periods of inactivity as I focus on trying to make this all go smoothly. Just a heads up.

...

That's it. 

This isn't a Drabble, this is a real thing. I mean, just count the number of words.

Wait...

God dammit. 

Opponent Types

My Teacher watched as I worked on our garden, as he began to ramble, as he was want to do.

"Most of the people you will face on the field of battle will fall into one of these types.

Those that wish to die, they are easy to fight, just give them assistance in their wish.

Those that wish to defend, they are easy to not fight, you leave the thing they are defending alone.

Those that wish to win, they can be difficult if their skill matches their determination.

Those that wish to get paid, just pay them more."

Tonight's Result

Tonight isn't the solution to everything. I know that. A single election isn't going to fix everything, or even change that much, at least immediately. I know that.

A cynic will point out all the ways the new government sucks, how they're barely any better than the other people. A realist will say the same thing, just in different language.

All of this is true, and I accept it.

But the thing is, no matter how small and insignificant this step is, it's still a step in the right direction. 

And therefore, it's a start. And that's still worth celebrating.

Emotion Less

I triple checked the files, making sure thet were all correct and in order and then submitted them.

I took a breath, and felt... Nothing.

I thought I'd feel something. I'd spent the last 4 years, nearly a fifth of my life, working on this, all those days learning, all those nights studying, everything was building to this one moment, and yet I felt no emotional impact.

This was unexpected, and I was forced to examine myself, as I tried to work out what-

The computer suddenly said had error messages, and the panic made me wish for the nothingness.

Self Taught

Glory had, in her time as a superhero, dealt with aliens, super-soliders, wizards, even an alien super-solider wizard that one time.

But fighting herself, or at least an alternate version of herself, that was new. And unfortunately, her other version was equipped with powerful weaponry.

Glory found herself on her back, trapped blocking her other self's blade, her shield breaking as Glory looked into her other self's eyes and... Saw a lack of a scar on her eyebrow.

So her other self never fought The Merc? And thus never learned an important lesson.

When in doubt, go for the eyes.

Don't Shoot The Messenger

The messenger arrived at my castle with, unsurprisingly, a message. As they delivered it, they told me that they were instructed to await my response.

As I read it, my blood began to boil, as I read the demands. They wanted me to sacrifice my Kingdom, and all my subjects, or risk being destroyed.

I looked at the messenger, and saw he was prepared for my reply to be violently bloody.

Instead, I gave him a room for the night and a full meal before he returned with my reply.

And a plague in his stomach, hidden in that meal.

The Boss' Cut

The summons to see the Boss was via a few thugs breaking down my door and pulling me out of bed.

I was fully awake when I was thrown in a chair in an empty warehouse, the Boss standing in front of me.

"I'm confused about something."

"So Google it." I said with a bit too much attitude.

He pulled out a knife and cut my cheek quickly.

"Why do you think you can rip me off?"

I tried to work out which scam I had running he was talking about.

"You steal my drugs?"

Great, one I wasn't running.

Given Up

We called them zombies, even though they clearly weren't like they were in the movies. Still destroyed society.

But in any case, I managed to pull together a solid crew of thirty or so survival minded hardheads, but more importantly, a hundred sheep, those that didn't want to live without society and had shut down. We looked after them and took them out on missions to use as distractions.

We burned through them in about a month, but we got our base set up great.

And then a few days after the last one was lost, all the 'zombies' died...

Saved Energy

In the margins of a book about home repairs was an equation, scribbled next to a section about insulation installation.

This equation was one that could revolutionise energy production, the man who wrote it a genius of the subject. He wrote it down in the middle of home repairs, only to get electrocuted and die a short while later.

The book ended up getting put into a box not opened for many years.

Eventually, someone opened it and found the book, and flicked through it, finding the equation.

They didn't understand it, but at least they had a new password.

Overhead

I poured out a finger of whisky, then after a moment's thought poured three more into the glass.

As I sipped my drink, I flicked through all the TV channels, each one saying the same thing, that it was too late to stop the asteroid, and it was going to hit in a few minutes.

I gulped my drink as I went to call her, but the phone lines were overloaded, I wasn't able to get through.

I grabbed the whisky bottle and drank it down, as I awaited the end.

I didn't feel the impact.

The morning after though... 

Bounty Diner

I was polishing the counter when she came in. She wore a low slung cowboy hat, short shorts, and a heavy leather jacket over a shirt, hiding something.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a man who calls himself Jimmy Rogers now."

"What do you want with my employee?"

She sighed as she flashed a bounty hunter licence.

"He's running from the law."

I sighed and pointed to the back. She put a hand on her obvious hidden gun and walked back there.

As soon as she did, I ran out the door, glad the plastic surgery had worked well enough.

Before The Battle Of Greenhill

The old Sergeant marched onto the General's tent and saluted sharply. The young General returned the salute.

"Sergeant, as I understand it, you've survived over thirty encounters with the enemy, correct?"

"Yes sir, thirty-five times, not that I'm counting."

"Very well. I am getting rote, traditional tactical advice from my officers, and I need more concrete advice on how to defeat them."

The Sergeant licked his lips and chose his words carefully.

"I can advise you on how to escape and survive. Not win."

The General waved him away.

...

Famously, there was a sole survivor of the Battle of Greenhill.

Mutton

He placed a small bottle of pills into my hand.

"These will deal with the more serious issues from the surgery. The pain and the fever, well they won't do a damn thing about them."

I looked at him with obvious attitude.

He sighed.

"Look, those drugs were the first things we used up after the Fall. Unless you're willing to take stuff designed for sheep."

I coughed and then looked at him.

"Baaa. Baaa."

He sighed and drew an injection up before he gave it to me.

"I'll see you in a few hours."

I began to count sheep.

Meat Sponge

I was just starting on explaining the many bladed weapons Bonak knew how to use to Philliomus The Magnificent when he raised a hand.

"I'm sorry, I, along with most of the foes we fight, can make the rules of existence shut up and play dead. What possible use is a lunkhead skilled with crude weapons going to help?"

"Say he was coming to try and kill you. You'd need to cast spells to stop him, yes?"

"Yes, a Wizard Armor, a few others, so?"

"So, so will they, thus he ties up some of their resources."

"Huh.

Good point."

Owed Punch

"You tell your boss that if I ever see him on my turf again, I'll kill him.

Oh, and give him this!"

He socked me in the jaw. I shook my head clear of the cobwebs, and then looked at him.

"You honestly expect me to punch him?"

He paused.

"No, I just wanted to punish you for working with him. And it was a cool line, wasn't it?"

"Bit of a cliché, ain't it?"

"Well things become-

Wait, the fuck am I doing! Throw this asshole out before-"

My boss punched him out.

"I owe you one of those."

Just Slightly Better

AI work quickly hit a plateau of creative ability before the development of the Semi-Randomised Drivers, which allowed them to create truly original things, or at least things that weren't easily deconstructed. 

At that point, it should have been all over, every creative endeavour should have just been living on borrowed time before it was all AI generated. After all, a program could write a whole novel within seconds.

But thankfully, it turned out that the Semi-Randomised Drivers were under exclusive propriety ownership to a company that just used it to make new betting options for an online gambling site.

That One

I started a fire, mid-forest.

I flash stewed some jerky, and just as I went to take a bite, a fae appeared on the edge of the fire's range.

"Hello traveller. May this one partake in the heat?"

I nodded, slowly.

The fae approached the fire and warmed themselves. After a moment, they looked at my bowl.

"May this one partake in the meal?"

I nodded, slowly.

I poured some into a second bowl, and handed it over. They ate it quickly, then looked at me.

"May this one partake in the human making?"

I spat out my food, quickly.

Mr & Mrs Oil-Water

I stepped out of the reception with one of the last bottles of red left undrunk and/or unbroken, taking a swig as i noticed one of the serving staff smoking behind a tree. They went to hide it but I quickly waved my hand to indicate I didn't care. They took another puff then looked at me.

"So, this level of chaos normal for your families? I mean, we're used to a fight or two, and maybe a breakup at these things, but this is... excessive."

I sighed.

"Some families are oil, some are water.

We're split uranium atoms."

Then I Met You

So Hollywood and all that keep repeating the story of someone having a calm, boring life that gets thrown into chaos with the arrival of someone who shakes up their whole life view.

It's one of their favorites, right ahead of a truly horrible person seeing the error of their ways.

And I'd always worried about someone coming into my life and upending it in a whirlwind of 'joy'.

And then I met you, and realised my life was the other one, and I had to change my ways.

I suppose it could be the first as well, but still!

Changing Numbers

My job is changing numbers. I hack into computers and change bits so that people have more or less money, or altering social security numbers, ID codes, whatever people hire me for.

Now, a question that most of the people who hire me don't ask is why do I bother taking jobs when I can just alter numbers? What does God need with a spaceship, that sort of thing.

But the thing is, I don't take payment in money. I take it in favors. One day, I'm gonna call them all in.

And I'll win medals for capturing criminal scum.

What It Is

I was removing the screws when the child walked in, looking at me in confusion. 

"What's that?"

"It's a typewriter, a device to write letters that came before computers, most people don't use one any more."

"What are you holding?"

"It's a screwdriver."

"It looks cool!"

"Well, it's made of metal, so-"

"Can I have one?"

"They don't make these any more."

"So what are you doing?"

"Attempting to fix this, since no-one else repairs them, really."

"So with something they don't make anymore, you're fixing something they don't make anymore, which no-one does anymore?"

"...

Yes?"

"That seems kinda silly." 

Surprise!

"Who is in charge of this fiasco?"

Every man and woman with a gun nearby aimed it at the man who was standing on the edge of the camp.

"Identify yourself!"

"I'm the security consultant Tower Defence hired to do a surprise inspection on this operation! Where's your commander?"

There was a brief discussion among the troops, and then one of them stepped forward.

"We weren't informed of any-"

"Why the fuck would you be informed of a surprise inspection! Go get your boss!"

The troops ran off, allowing him to plant the bomb before moving back into the bush.

Stolen Bicycles

I stood in the small office on the border as the guard searched every inch of my luggage.

"You ever hear that joke about the guard on the docks?"

"Hmm?"

"Well, see, the guard was sure the worker was stealing. Every day, he rode out on a bicycle with a basket full of rubbish, but no matter how hard the guard looked, he never found anything in there."

"And?"

"The day the worker retired, as he left, he said, simply, 'I stole bicycles'."

The guard blinked, and began to search my car, this missing the drugs in my luggage, thankfully.

Chance

After I proved that Russian 'Mentalist' was a fraud on that late night show, I got a lot busier with busting supposed psychics and the like.

But this guy was difficult. He happily let me set the test, and swore he'd get a 100% success rate at guessing my cards.

He got thirty cards in before he messed up. I informed him as such, and he merely shrugged.

"Eh, it's still early days yet. This is only my 35th attempt or so. Ever seen Groundhog Day?"

...

After I proved that Russian 'Mentalist' was a fraud on that late night show...