Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Big John

Everyone called him Big John, apart from his wife who called him Darlin’.

Well, apparently there was one situation she called him Big John, ‘ccording to some of the ladies round these parts, but that ain’t here nor there.

Ever since him and his little lady rode into town, he was always looking out for his fellow man, always offering to pitch in and help tend the herds of folks who were down with pox, or joining posses to hunt thieves. Big heart really.

Like I said, everyone called him Big John

Even the bounty hunters who came for him.

Tuesday, 30 December 2014


“77347, you got a present!”

I continued my push ups.

“I said, 77347, you got a present!”

I kept counting.

“77347, if you don’t want solitary for a week you stand up right this second, ya hear me?”

I got to a thousand and then slowly stood up.


“It’s your birthday 77347?”

“Dunno Officers. What day is it?”

The guards chuckled.

“Must be, why else would your bitch send you a cake?”

They revealed the cake.

“Oh, wait, better check for hacksaws!”

They tore the cake apart and tossed it at me.

Luckily it still blew up when lit.

Site News: The Rumble

So just a quick heads up/explanation for the upcoming month. Due to work and personal life I'm doing another theme run, in this case I'll be writing almost 30 or so Drabbles based on the list of men who have won the WWE's Royal Rumble match.

However, given that unlike past theme lists this list would be too restrictive if I just used names, instead each Drabble will be based on part of their name or gimmick or catchphrase or some such. I'm sure you'll pick it up. We'll be ending near the end of the month, right after the 2015 Royal Rumble.


Monday, 29 December 2014

The Storytelling Nexus

Most people are able to grasp the concept of a level of existence where stories intermix, where characters and settings coexist. However, the Storytelling Nexus is a little… Meta for most people. They can’t understand the idea that ways of storytelling exist somewhere. But they do.

At first there was just The Story. But soon it grew and split, into the Spoken Word and the Painting. And as every new method of telling stories developed, they came into existence, or an old style split or grew to accommodate it.

It’s a nice place, although the red light district is huge…

Sunday, 28 December 2014

Military Industrial Complex Bargaining

“For the record… Ladies-“ I began, checking to make sure they were all female as I strode into the room.

“Potentially illegal operational operatives of my non-publicised businesses do not get to collectively bargain.”

Bloodless Mary spoke up as she poured some drinks.

“You paid ‘armless Jack more to kill a five star general than you paid both Konchie Twins to kidnap one!”

The women all began to knock back drinks, so I took one from them and drank slowly as the discussions and negotiations dragged, until I was forced to give in fully, as they’d poisoned the ice cubes.

Saturday, 27 December 2014

Ahead Of Me

She was always ahead of me.

She was born just under half a year before me.

She was named Alison Davies, so she’d always be ahead of me alphabetically.

She was put into school a year earlier than me.

She was the one who decided we’d be friends based on where we lived before I’d even notice her.

She was a university graduate as I still toiled on my thesis.

She was the one who proposed to me.

She was just able to make the plane while I got stuck in transit.

She was very brave as it went down.

Friday, 26 December 2014

Boxing Day

I was feeling good about everything when I walked through the door, the bugs had left most of the second field alone. But any thoughts of the farm vanished when I saw my wife’s face.

“I know this is hard, but it’s time to box it up.”

Had I been in a worse mood, I would have taken issue, but instead, I sighed once, and headed down to the cellar.

As I walked down the steps, I tried to clear my mind, tried to think everything through, but once I saw the small coffin and lid, I just lost it.

Thursday, 25 December 2014


We never found out if it was planned, or just a horrible coincidence, that the Invasion occurred on Christmas Day. Humanity had stooped that low before, but aliens were meant to be different.

Not that I cared much, stuck in the tunnels beneath Munich, lost from my troop, the prototype jammer in a sack. And then he appeared.

A civilian, I presume, given how he held the rifle. The end of his nose had been hacked off, blood slowly dripping out. But all I cared about was the torch and map he had.

I never did find out his name.

Wednesday, 24 December 2014


Bureau of Lengthening Interdepartmental Teamwork Zeal (Extended Network).

You have to know an acronym like that had to come from a committee, with many stakeholders having input and working towards a brighter future and all that other wank.

Regardless, it was up to Muggins here to implement the damn thing. Not that the budget wasn’t impressive, and the pay increase was good, sure.

But I found it kinda hard to justify to myself, installing spying software on everyone’s computers to monitor their teamworking.

But then I guess if you sign up to join a spy agency, you’re cool with spying.

Tuesday, 23 December 2014


When you’re one of the few doctors in the only medical clinic within fifty miles of the warzone, you learn to not get too freaked out. Certainly not when a kid drags in a woman missing a leg.

The kid was familiar, but even so I tried to get an interpreter, but they were all busy. Not that it mattered, the kid kept saying ‘Donna’ or ‘Donner’, maybe. So I took ‘Donna’ and, after a few hours, saved her.

While the woman the kid was actually trying to save, his mother, died due to a lack of a donor heart.

Monday, 22 December 2014


You know, most people don’t bother to read the classics. Those ancient stories are the foundation of our society, and it behoves us to know where we came from, in order to better understand where we are going.

Take Cupid, for instance. Everyone knows what he’s like now, but he’s more than that in the Sagas.

Mostly as a plot device to start stories in motion, sure. But he got his own story, the love affair between Cupid and Psyche, where Cupid discovered how painful his ‘weapons’ truly were.

Important lesson, wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Torturer?

Scream if you agree.

Sunday, 21 December 2014


I’d like to think that before the ‘Sign From God’ my people were content and calm, but despite what my advisers keep telling me, I strongly suspect that they were already upset, and this moving star was just an excuse to demand… Well, any number of things. Less taxes, less ruling from the nobles, more pigs, I presume. Plus sending out the guards to kill a few of them won’t work, I still need them to tend the fields and such. But, I think that I can still win them over, perhaps.

So tell me, how soon can you invade?

Saturday, 20 December 2014


The dress was sheer enough that you had to stare to make sure she was actually wearing anything, and with a body that could create and destroy religions, you were happy to stare regardless.

Every man wished she’d head towards him, either due to a desire to bed her or to know where she got the dress. But to the relief of most of the women (and the disappointment of the rest) she was on a mission, as she approached the quiet, nervous billionaire heir in the corner.

She quickly got her claws in.

And then he got his out…

Friday, 19 December 2014


His walk was unlike anything you’d ever seen before. He held his arms up at right angles with the rest of his body, like he was resting them on giant invisible blocks. His palms weren’t flat though, they kept switching with every step between hanging limply and raising up as if he was constantly surprised about something. And then when he ran, it was totally different, he folded his arms over and then-

“Yes, thank you, but can you tell me about the perpetrator’s physical apperance?”

Oh, well he was… Tallish, I think. Uh… White, maybe? Hair was… Uh… Um…

Thursday, 18 December 2014


It was exactly four and a half minutes after my girlfriend became my ex-girlfriend that I sat down on the grass near the ‘Groovy’ stage.

It was exactly thirty-six seconds after I sat down that I saw her.

It was exactly a minute twenty later that I saw her face appear from the swirl of purple cloth that drifted around her in the breeze as she spun to the music.

It was exactly forty-five seconds later that I walked over to her and clumsily asked for her name.

It has been exactly twenty years since I met my now wife.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014


The Committee had designated it to be the twelfth most guarded job in the New Corporation. But while all the jobs higher on the flow chart were to be guarded from attacks from outside, the Historical Realignment Coordinator, informally and thus illegally called the Dasher, was guarded to prevent attacks from within.

For the person who spent every day reviewing unedited documents from pre-committee and removing all the non-core words and ideas, surely they would eventually go mad and try to think outside the box.

Luckily, the current coordinator is focused on working out why the name Richard is banned…

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Bliss Is Ignorance

He decided, after much careful thought, that since he only had a small time on this planet, he wasn’t going to pay attention to anything that wasn’t worth his attention.

People trying to sell him things were the most obvious to be ignored, that was barely a stretch for him.

Then he expanded that to ignoring all those who just wanted to talk with him about their religion, cause or issue.

Easy step from there to just anyone who disagreed with him. Even just once, he would begin to ignore them.

Went well, until he ignored the people yelling ‘TRAIN!’

Monday, 15 December 2014

Trouble In Paradise

Everyone in the office had noticed the change.

While he was never full of sunshine and lollypops, there was a marked difference between his attitude and mood a few weeks ago and how he acted now. Whereas he had once been agreeable and polite, now he was snappy, he never smiled, he was just generally mildly unpleasant. At least he kept to himself so no-one minded that much, but still, the common theory was that his home life must have taken a turn for the worse.

When actually it was the exact opposite. Work was keeping him away from Her.

Sunday, 14 December 2014

A Simple Kidnapping Case

The dame sauntered into my office, her hips swaying so much she nearly knocked over my coat stand. She practically poured herself onto the chair as I lit a stogie.

“You saved the Silcock baby from that cult, right?”

I chuckled softly.

“Don’t believe the rumors dollface, the sacrifice talk was a smokescreen for a simple kidnapping.”

She shook her head, her locks flowing like liquid gold.

“Well my darling little niece seems to be caught up in a similar… kidnapping.”

I took the case, and found the girl easy enough.

After all, how many little girls demolish city blocks?

Saturday, 13 December 2014

Day Planning

She had been waiting maybe half an hour before he emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed and ready for work. She fell into step beside him.

“So you’ll begin today with an appearance on TV, Gary and Julia are the sympathetic hosts, Robert is the token left winger. Defend inequality, roundaboutly.

Then it’s to the Hill for the appropriations bill for Science Bureau, fight for every dime, try and cut as much as possible.

Back here at lunch, we’ll talk more then. Questions?”

“Who am I again?”

There was an exasperated sigh.

“Senator Gregory Albertson, Xu. Call yourself a spy…”

Friday, 12 December 2014

Angel Between The Sheets

She knew that some people would label her with terms that were insulting, at least to those who used those labels. But she also knew that she was doing good, that she was helping the men she interacted with. Far too many men had become overwhelmed, the monotony of their lives crushing their souls.

For some, it only took a few minutes, one conversation was enough to turn them around. Others, one night between the sheets. In extreme cases, a few months in a full relationship.

But she was lost when she met the man who enjoyed the soul-crushing monotony…

Thursday, 11 December 2014

Act 1, Scene 1

It all started when he was seven and a half years old.

The class had to produce a short ‘play’ as part of the presentation evening every year. Usually, this ended up being just a few unconnected scenes with the kids who could remember lines, and then a song from all the kids who couldn’t.

But after being told about this, a couple days later he brought in an actual play he had written.

The characters were pretty flat, and most of the jokes were lame, but it was performed, and he began his career as a writer.

With plagiarism.

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Material Things

In my life, there’s been material objects that had an impact on where I’ve ended up. The car I won at 16 thanks to a lucky flush draw. The cord that tripped me, costing me my shot at Jessica. The jumper leads that let me ‘save’ Lauren.

Of course, the biggest impact came from the bullet.

Which is to be expected, after all, a bullet tends to produce serious consequences, so why wouldn’t it impact my life?

Although in retrospect, if given the choice, I’d rather have just taken it in the arm instead of leaving my fingerprint on it.

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Five Times

The first time I saw her, she was on her knees, wearing a cotton dress and some chains, while she was being auctioned off.

The second time I saw her, she was pouring wine during one of High Priest Rerlom’s feasts.

The third time I saw her, I almost won her, but High Priest Rokali managed to score a triple on his last roll.

The fourth time I saw her was an hour later, when Prince Gorla got a double double and won her.

The fifth time I saw her, she was kneeling, while High Priest Rokali crowned her Queen.

Monday, 8 December 2014

Post Fall

It was hell after the Fall.

Life hadn’t been ideal before it, especially not for certain groups within society, and the Fall itself wasn’t a cakewalk, but at least in both of those, you could delude yourself into thinking you had control of your own destiny, mostly.

But after the Fall, your existence was at the whim of the weather, the fickle nature of what remained of the infrastructure, and the seemingly inevitable end from a raider’s crude weapon.

Life was cruel, short, miserable and quite frankly not worth living.

But it was so much better than after the Rise.

Sunday, 7 December 2014

Election Night

By the time I finished the interviews, I found her alone, sitting on the floor, streamers and ‘Elect Jack South!” signs scattered around her, and a few empty bottles of alcohol lined up in front of her.

“So…” I began, before she held up a hand, and pointed at the muted TV in the corner, where an ‘expert’ silently talked about nothing at all, probably.

After a moment, she chuckled.

“So it’s official then, if even WNC is calling it. Jack South’s going to Washington. Despite knowing nothing and not wanting to go at all.”

I licked my lips.


Saturday, 6 December 2014

S.L.I.C Disorder

‘Sudden Loss of Impulse-Control Disorder” he called it.

Was a mental condition he developed in his teenage years, where he’d occasionally snap and do something impulsive, like try and steal your lunch or punch a co-worker or scream racial epithets at random. Was a chemical imbalance in his head, totally not his fault, but with time and medication if could be contained he swore.

I thought he was just another entitled young prick who had thought up some slimy excuse to just do whatever he felt like and blame a medical condition, and told him so.

I was so wrong.

Friday, 5 December 2014


“Yee-Ha, You’ve Struck Gold Pardner!”

“Excuse me sir?”


“Yee-Ha, You’ve Struck Gold Pardner!”

“Sir, my name is Gloria, and I’m-“

“Yee-Ha, You’ve Struck Gold Pardner!”

“The Floor Manager on duty.”


“Yee-Ha, You’ve Struck Gold Pardner!”

“Please step away from the machine, sir.”


“Yee-Ha, You’ve Struck Gold Pardner!”

“We believe it’s developed a fault.”

“Because I’m on a hot streak?”

“Yee-Ha, You’ve Struck Gold Pardner!”

“Sir, twenty-seven mini jackpots-“

“Yee-Ha, You’ve Struck Gold Pardner!”

“Twenty-eight, that’s clearly a fault.”

“No, I’ll keep playing.”

“Yee-Ha, You’ve Struck Gold Pardner!”

“Very well, guards!”

“Better luck next time, pilgrim!”



Thursday, 4 December 2014

Choosing Choice Choices

They say that your choices truly define who you are.

They mean the big choices, the shooting the bad guy/saving the girl choices.

Except that when you end up faced with such a choice, you are shaped by all the little choices made prior to that point, so it’s no real choice at all.

And those little choices? All the influences on your life guide those for the most part, no real choices there.

So in the end, the only choice that matters is the choice to be born or not. And you don’t even get to make that one…

Wednesday, 3 December 2014


My thrall dragged the small sack into my den and then, after kicking it once or twice to stop it squirming, pulled out the small being within and placed it within the rune circle. I regarded the female, as it turned out.

“You sure this is a Gnome?”

“Quite sure, Mistress. Found her hiding among the dwarves, but she’s a gnome!”

“She looks fairly Hobbity to me…”

“Mistress, next you’ll be saying she looks like a Gnoll!”

I glared at my thrall, and it whimpered.

“The spell specifically needs a Gnome.” I explained, casting.

Turns out it was a Leprechaun.

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Daily Routine

Eventually, it was as much a part of my day as sleeping and eating. After breakfast, before heading out the door for work, I would sit down and write, or rather type a short note to her.

The tone varied wildly. Some days it was sweet, thanking her for her and being a part of my life.

And others, it was pretty much porn, describing in some detail a carnal act I wanted to perform on her.

And then I’d hit send, and my wife would wake up to a love letter.

Thankfully, so far, she hasn’t discovered the BCC.

Monday, 1 December 2014

The Networking

With thirty million people living in the greater New York area, unexpected meetings between people were still common, even with WiHi and Threadcount and other competing apps people had installed in their chip phones.

People still struck up conversations while waiting for taxis, or got stuck together in weather shelters, new friendships and relationships still began to form despite technology seemingly trying to end all connections that didn’t involve monthly subscription fees.

Sure, the vast majority of meetings did come via the net, but not all, and that was good enough.

Meant I could take it down and not worry.

Sunday, 30 November 2014

Soda Marketing

Being the only computer trouble-shooter with Alpha-1 level clearance had its perks. But it also had negatives, in that I was incredibly busy, given that a surprising number of fellow ‘Highest Ranking Defenders Of Freedom’ seemed unable to use a computer properly.

By the time I got round to engineering, despite Dr. Brennan being both competent and cute, I was in a bad mood as she told me about how the new 3D printer was making unwanted items.

I gazed blankly at the block with ‘Hello, My Name Is Cola’ in raised letters on it, until it printed my name…

Saturday, 29 November 2014

Plan F Maybe?

Plan A was to talk things over, to come to an agreement between the two sides.

Plan B was to convince them to have their war somewhere other than our homeland, perhaps give them our island chain to fight over.

Plan C was to just let the two of them get this out of their system and wait for one side to win quickly and adjust.

Plan D was to pick a side and make this war end since it had gone on for so long.

Plan E was survival, pretty much, once the two sides joined up against us…

Friday, 28 November 2014

Fucking Up

He had fucked up.

Not cataclysmically, not world endingly, the sun would rise in the morning, businesses would open, the vast majority of the people in the world would get up and go about their lives unchanged.

And yet, he had fucked up.

He had explanations, justifications, he could, with hindsight, pinpoint the hows and whys of how it had occurred.

But it didn’t change the fact that he’d fucked up.

He apologized, hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe, he would be forgiven.

He was, although given the way the relationship went after that, he kinda wished he wasn’t…

Thursday, 27 November 2014

Human Civilisation 6th Edition: Not Sweating The Little Stuff (Feat)

Not Sweating The Little Stuff


Common Sense 15, Sense of Perspective Perk OR Medication (Mood Stabilising)


Player is able to see clearly on the metaphorical level, and has an understanding about what is truly important in life and also what isn’t. Player has 30 bonus to all calm checks for any problem level Annoyance or lower, as well as varying bonus to empathy checks for problems higher than Annoyance.


This feat cannot be taken with a money level higher than Comfortably Well Off. This feat is also removed permanently after the first level of Surfing Internet Skill.

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

One Life Reset

Everyone got one chance to press the button and go back into their time stream and pick a moment to restart from. Just one chance, since the time line couldn’t handle more than one reversal.

Of course, you could only go back as far as 21:23 GMT, April Nineteenth, 2133. You obviously couldn’t go back past the moment the device existed.

And by everyone, of course only those who could afford the quite high fees could press the button. After all, after all the effort Joseph put in to go back and kill his partner the second the device existed…

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Coming Of Age

When I first started going out with Stacy, and she told me she wouldn’t do anything with me until she turned eighteen, I waited for the ‘kidding’, but it never came.

All my buddies told me to dump her, but I got them off my case by telling them that her folks did free work on my car, which was a lie. Because really, even without sex, she was funny, smart, and just great to be around.

Of course, the night she turned eighteen, I was eager. And then she said she still wasn’t ready yet.

Then she said ‘kidding’.

Monday, 24 November 2014

Literally Broken

Look, I get it.

Metaphors only go so far, when you want to really get across the notion of just how totally… Whatever something is, you need to engage in hyperbole and exaggeration. And after a while, we as a people with a language, we run out of hyperbolic exaggerations and we end up with saying that this metaphor's in fact reality.

And thus the misuse of literally began.

But now that it’s accepted in that way, we need a new word to do its old job.

Literally in Esperanto is laĆ­vorte. Drop the breve…

Hey, got a better idea?

Sunday, 23 November 2014

Site News: End of Challenge Week 3

And thus Challenge Week 3 comes to a close, thanks for reading and for all the suggestions.

Despite leaving on a trip for a few days, there should still be Drabbles for every day as I'm preloading them. Should be some good ones in there.

Once again, thanks for reading, this is very much a personal challenge but to know people (presumably) enjoy my work is always gratifying.

Facing East

As the train continued to move, I tried to focus on my book.

“You know he really began as a dramatist?”

I looked up, and the glare off his stupidly overpriced sunglasses made me blink, but I had to respond.


“Dumas. Sure, most people just remember him now for the Musketeers, and some his other works, but he first rose to fame writing plays.”

As he prattled, I put my book away and grabbed my mace.

“In fact, my drama club’s working on a production of ‘Antony’ that-“

I looked out the window.

“My stop.”

Saved by the buzzer.

(And thanks to Pete for this suggestion too!)

Saturday, 22 November 2014

Facing West

She was reading one of the lesser Dumas works, so my opening was obvious. I sat down opposite her as the train chugged along.

“You know he really began as a dramatist?”

She looked up at me, blinking. Good sign.


“Dumas. Sure, most people just remember him now for the Musketeers, and some his other works, but he first rose to fame writing plays.”

She put the book back into her bag, and I made my move.

“In fact, my drama club’s working on a production of ‘Antony’ that-“

“My stop.”

I guess sometimes you just miss the buzzer.

(Thanks to Pete for this suggestion...)

Friday, 21 November 2014

Unadulterated Power

As soon as I dispelled the final hex and the door faded back into smoke, I heard the chanting and knew I was too late.

But with every plane of reality at stake, I had to try, and so I charged, beginning my Ultimate Dissolution spell.

With a flick of her wrist, she sent me tumbling to the ground.

“So much… Unadulterated power! I can create… destroy… reshape… everything…”

She managed one more breath and then was consumed by the flames with a scream, the death scream of one that cannot die.

The power was unadulterated, but the vessel wasn’t.

(Thanks to Jack for the suggestion!)

Thursday, 20 November 2014


I would have just walked away from her, but I really wanted to get the 10EF day one, so I had to put up with it.

“And you know what else I blame for this generation? Disney, and their Supercalafragalistic thing.”

I must have looked confused yet interested, at least to her, because she kept going.

“When you don’t have anything to speak, say that. How about telling kids that if they have nothing to say, say nothing? No wonder everyone is so self-absorbed.”

She hadn’t noticed that by now I was reaching into my pocket for a spoonful of…‘sugar’.

(Thanks to Mark for the suggestion!)

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Eating The Whole Thing

I can’t really tell when I woke up. At one point, I must have been laid out cold on the ground. At a later point, I was on my hands and knees throwing up. There was a transition between the two, but where to draw the line of was asleep, now awake, no idea.

But after a few more retches, I slowly rose into the air and then looked around. All I could see was dirt, rocks, metal implements left where the natives had dropped them as I had devoured them all.

Nothing edible was left, so I moved on.

(Thanks to Michael for the 'suggestion'!)

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Queue Or Cue?

“And the lettering should be in white, with a red outline that drips a little.”


“And it should read ‘The Executioner And Q Death Bringers Tour 2016’, with the and being that fancy symbol that means and, and a hyphen between Q and Death Bringers, which is two words, and the year should be in numerals.”

“And can you spell Q please?”

“Excuse me?”

“Q, how-“

“You don’t know how to spell Q?”

“Sir you-“

“It’s a single letter! Just put Q all alone, idiot!”

“Very well sir.”

And that’s why the ‘all alone idiot’ bit got on there.

('Thanks' to Jason for the suggestion!)

Monday, 17 November 2014

Cures What Ails You

It took me from sunup to sunhigh to lead the cow to the market. She had stopped producing milk, so Father told me to go swap her for supplies.

But when I finally got there, practically everyone was focused on the fancy dressed old man, Dr. Quacksalver he called himself. He kept going on about how his Tonic was a cureall. I knew Father’s back was bothering him, so I offered a trade.

I should have been upset when it didn’t work. But without that ‘Doctor’, I’d have never worked out how I could make a living on my back…

(Thanks to Tree for the suggestion!)

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Site News: Challenge Week 3: With A Verbage

So, starting tomorrow, we're doing another challenge week where every Drabble is based on a suggestion from a reader. If you have a phrase or word you want to toss at me, do so below or via Twitter (@MassiveQ) and I'll give it a go. Cheers!


I walked into the Men’s to find two teenage boys huddled around an advertisement on the wall.

“And so join up the middle of the N, the W, and the O, create the inverted triangle like this, and what’s right in the middle?”

“Uh… The eye of the tiger in the middle of the logo.”

“See! Told you, the Illuminati symbol dude! New York’s Own is totally in on it!”

I managed to withhold my laughter. As if a worldwide conspiracy would advertise like that.

I mean, all our companies have an E in the name, but that’s just coincidence.

Saturday, 15 November 2014

A Very Important Date

July 5th, 1983.

A date that will not live in infamy.

It was, for most people, just another Tuesday.

Sure, for the people who died on that day, it obviously was important to them, albeit for a very short period of time.

And I know that a whole lot of people remember that day as the day they proposed or got divorced or some other important life event happened to them.

But to the wider world in general? Another boring day in an extremely long line of them.

But it’s not boring to me.

Because that’s where the loop begins.

Friday, 14 November 2014

Hook Up

“Come on, hook a brother up!”

“I… I don’t think I should.”

There was a slightly exasperated sigh.

“Look, when I got you in, I told you this wasn’t all handshakes and networking. I said, didn’t I, that you’d have to turn a blind eye on occasion?”

“You… You did say that…”

“Well, clearly you’ll need to do more than turn a blind eye here, but come on, just do it, ok?”

“But, they-“

“Hook a brother up.”

With a heavy sigh and heavier heart, he grabbed one of the tied up black men and impaled him on a hook.

Thursday, 13 November 2014

Around The Neighbourhood

“You’ll never take me alive, you bastards!” could just be heard over the sound of gunfire.

“Wasn’t our intent!” I replied.

After a few more bullets flew through the air, the target called out again.

“Aren’t you supposed to want me alive?”

We stopped firing as well, but kept our eyes open for attempts to surprise us.

“We’re not the police, Barrios just told us to-“

“I’m Barrios!”

I looked at my partner.

“Prove it.”

After a moment, he raised his head slightly from behind the bar.

I fired. Took off the top of his head.

Luckily he was lying.

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Broke Through

I think the best moment was when I got to stare into the craven eyes of their ‘emperor’ as my sword plunged into his generous stomach.

I knew the day was won, so I began to explore the throne room for anything interesting.

Eventually, I found the door. Inside the room were two young girls, wearing only collars attached to chains, lying on large beds.

I strode over and broke the chains quickly, telling them in their language that they were free.

I think the worst moment was when I stared at their pathetic, desperate attempts to reassemble the chains…

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Aesop 2.0: 15. The Selfish Shellfish

There was a shrimp that was very selfish. Whenever it found a new rock to hunt under, a plant to feed upon, it would try and keep it to itself, and not let any of the other underwater animals know about it. It wanted to keep its finds to itself. The other creatures of the sea noticed this, and thus, when large cages began to take away some creatures, no-one warned the shrimp, and it ended up being caught by a fisherman, who enjoyed his good fortune.

“Share good finds with others so that they share their finds with you.”

Monday, 10 November 2014

Last Defiance

The Abyss stared at him. And he stared right back.

There didn’t seem much else left to do. He knew that everyone he’d ever known was gone, that his home town, state, country, world was swallowed by this never ending darkness. But he only truly cared that it had taken his wife. He knew that was selfish, but he couldn’t help it.

So, as The Abyss hung there, creeping ever closer, he took one deep breath and spat right at it.

Didn’t do a damn thing, but it helped calm him a little before he ceased to have ever existed.

Sunday, 9 November 2014

Damn Dirty Bullets

It was eighteen hours after society had collapsed.

I was running from a mob. I managed to climb up a fire escape and pull it up behind me, but it was only going to buy me a few minutes. I climbed into the apartment and there he was.

I probably would have been star struck, and told him who he was and how I’d seen him on TV, but he was dead so I didn’t. Instead, I chuckled as I began to take his gun from his cold, dead hands.

Shame rigor mortis still held him, might have survived otherwise.

Saturday, 8 November 2014

Miss Green’s Power

Miss Green was very exacting. She knew that she was a catch, that being seen to be going out with her made you popular with all the inner city, trendy people. Getting the Green seal of approval, so to speak, that was worth something.

So she didn’t go out with just anyone. She examined every potential suitor carefully, and she if found a flaw, if there was something about them she didn’t like, away they would be sent.

She only wanted the best. But pretty soon, people stopped trying to go out with her.

Clearly everyone else’s fault, she thought.

Friday, 7 November 2014

Right Angle Turns

For many ‘years’, I never understood what was holding the Humans back. They seemed to grasp the nature of existence, they even used the fundamental concepts of reality in tele-visual plays for their children, and yet they weren’t able to take that next step, to see around the corner.

I’ll admit to trying to help them, but the majority refused to listen to the smarter ones about anything.

Eventually I worked out the problem, their language made them see time’s angles as ‘imaginary’.

I mean, just look at how primitive this language is, it’s barely able to contain any information…

Thursday, 6 November 2014


He slumped against the wall, slowly sliding down to the floor, the smoking gun dropping from his hand.

For months now, he’d been chasing this moment, the moment where he got his revenge. The blood, guts and bullet casings strewn across the floor proved that it hadn’t been easy.

But he could now…

What? What could he do now? Go back to his life? Go back to paying taxes, attending Neighbourhood Watch meetings, find a girl?

He picked the gun back up. He checked the chamber. One bullet left.

He took a deep breath.

Actually, he liked the Neighbourhood Watch…

Wednesday, 5 November 2014

Cosmic Clean Up

It was just a joke I made to lighten the mood, after too much focusing on loss and death.

I told them all that I’d never really die because I’d made a deal with the universe. Someone had to do the cosmic equivalent of cleaning up after the party, see. Once all life was gone, someone had to sweep up all the rocks, turn out the lights. As long as the universe kept me alive, I’d happily do that.

Just a silly joke. I didn’t expect the universe to take me up on it.

And certainly not within the week…

Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time…

Well that’s not accurate actually, the entire point is that it is happening at various points in the timeline…

Once upon many times…

And thinking about it, Dr. Igrel is being fought on many fronts for many different reasons, so…

Many upon many times…

No no, that makes no grammatical sense. And this is important, you’re old enough to understand the war.

At various points in the past, present and future…

Yeah, that works.

So then…

Funny, I forgot what I was about to tell you. Ah well, no matter. Back down the mine now sweetheart.