Hacksaw

“77347, you got a present!”

I continued my push ups.

“I said, 77347, you got a present!”

I kept counting.

“77347, if you don’t want solitary for a week you stand up right this second, ya hear me?”

I got to a thousand and then slowly stood up.

“Yeah?”

“It’s your birthday 77347?”

“Dunno Officers. What day is it?”

The guards chuckled.

“Must be, why else would your bitch send you a cake?”

They revealed the cake.

“Oh, wait, better check for hacksaws!”

They tore the cake apart and tossed it at me.

Luckily it still blew up when lit.