Tuesday, 31 March 2015

James, Son Of Zebedee

When it comes to the Galaxy’s Great Expanse, while there are obvious necessities, oxygen, fuel, slave girls, you’d think a name wouldn’t rate a mention.

But out here, no Unity, no Conglomerate, no Fungi (hopefully), a name people feared? That’s a major trump stick to hold.

Your ship having extra resources means you might win a battle quicker. But a name people tremble at? That can avoid a fight altogether.

Course, you can try too hard to be scary. ‘Xakjon The Mightys’ are a cred a pallet, and rarely last.

But if it’s connected to royalty, it can be anything…

Monday, 30 March 2015

Andrew, His Brother

They were never close.

Their Mother would disagree most strongly, but their Father would agree, and say that Donald blamed Andrew for everything that happened, since all the time Donald was an only child their Father’s business was booming, and then once Andrew was born, the business collapsed.

It was a coincidence, of course, but children lash out, and once their Mother got sick, the dislike turned to outright hatred.

But even as Donald would scream and yell, Andrew never returned the anger, he loved his Brother with all his heart.

Donald died refusing to acknowledge he had any siblings.

Sunday, 29 March 2015

Simon, Who Is Called Peter

A small black hybrid rolled to a stop, parking neatly within the lines in bay 435B.

An average looking man stepped out, glancing around casually as he placed his strikingly bright red briefcase on the hood of the car and began to put in the code.


He didn’t turn around, although he did brush some lint from a pocket.


He turned around and raised his hands when he saw the gun.

“Sorry, I’m Peter-“

“No more lies!“

Peter died. So did Simon, once he took out the gunman.

Robert left the scene with his strikingly bright red briefcase.

Saturday, 28 March 2015

Denationalizing Utilities

The Ambassador was led into my office after I left him waiting for a few minutes, for safety.

“Ah, Ambassador! So I see the transfer has been approved!”

He sat down, looking over his half-glasses.

“Indeed. All the gold we are holding in your banks, plus a substantial cash transfer, in exchange for your newly privatized electricity network, your water system, and your local phone division…”

“You seem concerned.”

“Well… Why? Not that my country’s corporations aren’t excellent, but-“

“Oh, well see, we’ve just declared war on you, and thus seized all property back.” I explained as I shot him.

Friday, 27 March 2015

Leading The Song

I was enjoying a cigar when my window exploded, and a flash of red and blue landed before me.

“I have you now, Conductor!”

I waited a moment.

“You’re paying for that, Miss Glory. And for the last time, I’m not this Conductor, I’m a legitimate businessman, one you and your fellow ‘heroes’ keep harassing-“

She tossed a memory stick at me.

“I just had a very long conversation with the leader of the Black Lotus Gang, about his employment status with you.”

I stood up.

“Excuse me while I call my lawyer.”


“No, preparing my lawsuits.” I lied.

Thursday, 26 March 2015

Unit 24/7

While whichever unit Dave and Johnny ended up in would have gained a reputation on campus, the fact that they were in unit 24/7? That was too perfect.

‘It’s a party 24/7 in 24/7’ quickly became the half-joke around the college. And the weird thing was that it stuck, even once Dave and Johnny graduated (somehow), and the unit became Alex and Will’s, the party just kept on going, and in fact the whole wing became one long, constant party.

It probably would have continued long past that, but they found the leak in the science lab around that point.

Wednesday, 25 March 2015


In this place, time had no real meaning, but even so, she felt like she had stood there, in that spot, for days.

The small patch of ground she was perched on hung in nothingness, having risen from the darkness to meet her feet as she had run across the void until she stopped, here.

This space was no different from the rest of it, the complete lack of anything but the abyss around her giving no signposts, no clues.

Just her, and the abyss.

She stared into it, long, hard, until finally, she dove into the abyss.

And flew.

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Twice Upon A Time

There once was a girl called Docia.
There once was a girl called Craftia.

She lived with her evil step-mother down on the docks.
She lived with her evil half-sisters in the craftman’s neighbourhood.

She was treated terribly, forced to work on the nets all day.
She was treated horribly, forced to work with a broom all day.

But then one day, a magic fairy appeared.
But then one day, a mystical goblin appeared.

She would get to go to the ball!
She would get to go to the ball!

She met the prince.
She met the prince.

One won.

Monday, 23 March 2015

Entering A Virgin

When she felt me first push against her, she froze. Her mouth made this delightful little circle as her eyes widened. Clearly, this was her first time as well, so I went slow but deliberate, pushing myself inside her more and more, even as she pushed against me, her body shaking, twitching, as unfamiliar sensations washed over her. But with one final, solid thrust, I entered her, fully, totally, completely.

So, once inside, I did what most every ghost does the first time they possess someone in a hundred years, I went and got drunk and ate everything I could.

Sunday, 22 March 2015

Worthy Gaze

Preacher Cosk was always going on about being ‘worthy in the eyes of God’. Every seventh day, we’d have to trudge along and be told that we had to be good, so we’d be judged worthy of God’s love and wisdom. For as long as I can remember, that was always his main point.

So when he caught us ransacking the place, after he got up from the first blow, he asked me if I thought stealing like this would make me worthy, I told him I was more concerned with my net worth.

Well, told his corpse, at least.

Saturday, 21 March 2015

Luna’s Far Side

When the U.E.G finally approved the plan to put the Aitken Telescopic Array on the far side of Luna, there was a problem, in that with the Cola Uprising fresh in everyone’s minds, there was no way the Government would give androids free reign. But due to the sensitive nature of the equipment, one human was all they could afford to send. But the idea of leaving one person all alone like that, only sending back data, it was hard to find a suitable candidate.

Then I got caught, and it became easy.

They should’ve checked my personal luggage though.

Friday, 20 March 2015

One Off Investment

The scam’s easy, really. Convince the mark that there was treasure out there at the bottom of a lake, or anywhere that would take time, effort and most importantly money to go get. After intense negotiation you offer a big slice of the profits if they fund the trip. Then you take the money and leave. Easy.

The work was in selling the idea, and also making sure that the mark wouldn’t be able to go ‘Relax, I have a boat and diving equipment already! Let’s go!’

My partner forgot that this time.

He’s damn lucky we actually found something…

Thursday, 19 March 2015

Fault Lines

When she entered my life, she broke it in half.

Before her, I had my small circle of friends, then work, family, my hobbies. After she declared that we were ‘fused’, my life became her and work, maybe sleep if I was lucky.

Everything in my life was thrown about, mentally, emotionally, physically. (She tended to throw things mid-orgasm, and it took me a while to buy more pillows.)

All the chaos, all the problems, all the costs, all of it is her fault, and her fault alone.

But then again, without her, I probably would have burst by now…

Wednesday, 18 March 2015


The scrolls were mixed. Some called it ‘Godslayer’, others ‘Gods Slayer’. But they all agreed that it was the only weapon known to have killed a Deity. So when the Abomination began to rise, the Empires came together for the first time and sent their best to find the weapon underneath Lord’s End.

After fighting through every possible manner of hellspawn, the five of us, the greatest living swordsman, the reality shifter, the Follower of Slauot, Night Shadow, and me, the guy keeping their spirits up, we finally found the fabled sword.

But given it was a thousand feet long…

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Mobius Strip Relationships

When I brought Joan to Thanksgiving, my father was… distant.

When I got to ask him, alone, what the issue was, about why he was being so cold to my girlfriend, he just muttered something about ‘median streets’ or something. I just put it down to his long standing belief that no girl was good enough for his son.

At the wedding, he lectured at me about Mobius Strip relationships, about how once you’re stuck in one, you’re going round in circles forever and there’s always a meaningless twist coming up.

I told him he was wrong.

But he wasn’t.

Monday, 16 March 2015


‘You want the best? You want Trolane.’

Innkeepers, guild masters, priests, they all said it, when we asked about the most powerful mages in the land.

‘You want the best? You want Trolane.’

We had all, on several occasions, fought off demons and gods, so obviously a mage worthy of us had to be the very best.

‘You want the best? You want Trolane.’

So we eventually we found this Trolane, and offered him membership.

All too quickly, we found out that repetition of reputation could be repudiated by results, as he would have put it, before he got eaten.

Sunday, 15 March 2015

Bringing Her Back

After the sickness took her, I dedicated my life to reversing it. I sold my businesses, much to my assistant’s tears, and poured the proceeds into sorcerers and priests, and then steam-users and technographers.

The woman next door tried to keep me engaged with the world, but I focused everything on my all important task, growing every more distant with petty concerns like society.

When I died, and the Gods appeared before me, I asked why I couldn’t have had my love back.

My assistant, the female technographer, my neighbour, they had tried to send me love again, they replied.

Saturday, 14 March 2015


I knew I had to write something.

Not every day has the death of the guy who shaped how you viewed stories and storytelling, and even showed you the specific concept of writing that you now do daily.

But the words just aren’t flowing. He was witty, charming, deep but accessible, his worlds were fantastic but real, his stories familiar but different…

All words that others have, and will continue to say, for years, decades.

It’s as if, when he left, he took all my words with him.

But then, he practically gave them to me in the first place…

Friday, 13 March 2015

Aesop 2.0: 18. The Mountain Goat

The Mountain Goat lived on the peak of a mountain. There, he could see the badgers who lived all down the left side of the mountain, as well as the lizards who covered the other side of the mountain. And every day, a badger would tell the Goat he was leaning away from him, and liable to fall off. And a lizard on the other side would tell the Goat the same thing, that he was leaning away and liable to fall. But he never did fall.

“Living with conflicting ideals isn’t always hypocrisy, sometimes it’s a part of life.”

Thursday, 12 March 2015

Aesop 2.0: 17. The Black Swan

The Black Swan never stayed still in one spot for too long. He was always moving, always exploring new places. After all, there might well be more food and cleaner water over the horizon. No matter the niceness of where he was, he’d always be on his way out, exploring more. But eventually, he found himself in a place that was hot, and dusty, and had nothing he liked. And try as he might, he couldn’t find a way back to where he’d been, and was forever lost…

“Don’t be afraid to get comfortable, to settle down, if you can.”

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Aesop 2.0: 16. The Ostrich In The Sand

The Ostrich spent most of his days with his head in the sand. Most of the other animals found this strange, and would ask him why he did this. He would explain, slightly muffled due to the dirt, that by doing this his life was simple, easy and didn’t change. He never had to deal with new experiences or unfamiliar problems, he could just survive like this in peace. Of course, it meant that he didn’t notice the hungry lion coming for him until far too late.

“You need to experience new things, explore the world, and engage with it.”

Tuesday, 10 March 2015


I know most people want to ‘rebuild society’ but fuck that shit, I’m just about my own survival. Society didn’t look kindly on guys like me coming in and shooting shit up and just taking whatever the fuck I like, after all.

Sure, I know that eventually there won’t be any more farmers, but I got a whole fucking continent to clear out, that’ll take a few decades.

After all, most people see me, they see a twelve year old, and don’t expect me to pull a gun until I do, at which point they’re fucking dead.

Anyway, name’s Billy.

Monday, 9 March 2015

Freudenshade, Perhaps

As the only one who spoke English, I hovered near the guy at the end of the bar, despite his near silence. Then, finally, he spoke.

“What’s German for ‘Inverse’?”


“Umgekehrt-schadenfreude a word?”

“Not really…”

“Well, is there a word then, when the perfect girl, a woman who you could love forever, is getting married…”

He paused to drink.

“To a jerk?” I offered.

“No, to your best friend, who you love, and they love each other, and you are happy for them and thus you can’t really be upset…”

Twenty-five years later, we still haven’t found a word.

Sunday, 8 March 2015

Reasons For Research

“So explain what this is again?”

He continued to fiddle with his contraption.

“By focusing the subjects’ untapped psychic potential by way of mass delusions via traditional media, I have developed a way to create matter and life from nothing.”

He turned on the device, and in front of me played a commercial for cider. He then reached into the projection and pulled out an apple, tossing the ripe fruit at me.

“I call it Reel to Real.”

I paused.

“EE to EA?

You made this just for that pun, right?”


A naked elf girl walked in with drinks.

Saturday, 7 March 2015

Modern Wisdom

It wasn’t exactly a cave on top of a mountain. It was a small shack in a co-op garden in the CBD. But I was reliably informed that the guru there was wise.

When I approached, he barely looked up from his bag.

“You looking for meaning?”

I nodded.

“There are many highs in life. There are many lows. Both are temporary.”

I contemplated.

“So you’re saying I should stop chasing one and worrying about the other, and just-“

“No! Minimise the lows, prolong the highs!” he said as he began to chew on a mushroom and lay back, giggling.

Friday, 6 March 2015

Damzel In Distress


I quickly ran into my barn, sorry, His Splendidness’ Temporary Throne Chamber. I wasn’t quite prepared for what I saw.

“I have altered how your primitive senses determine my appearance to become the pinnacle of human perfection, whilst appearing in need of help!”

“Uh… Yeah, I can see that.”

“I will now be able to manipulate the heroes of this land into doing my biding! Fetch me one, Peon!


“What is it, Slave?”

I tried to explain why being a male damsel in distress was too unusual, but gave up and went to look for a female hero.

Thursday, 5 March 2015

Unexpected Duet

I’ll cop to only turning up to the ‘Experimental Improvisational Musical Explorations’ on the far side of the campus because of the free food promised on the poster.

But upon arrival, food no longer mattered once my eyes met hers. I never thought I’d have a moment like that in my life, like something out of a movie, let alone with a woman with a buzzcut, and yet…

And then she began to play her cello.

It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard, again, movie like.

Although the electric guitar from her boyfriend cutting in ruined the moment.

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Highest Demand

He was around eighth in line for the throne. He asked me if a freak wind could appear and sink a ship on demand. I explained that magic was illegal throughout the Kingdom, and thus such a wind would be costly.

We haggled for a bit, but I was insistent on being paid in rubies. He eventually paid up.

A week later, a freak wind appeared and sank the Royal Ship.

The New King’s third new law was that owning rubies was now illegal.

He shouldn’t have given me an hour before sending guards though. The black market works fast…

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Just Let Go

‘Just let go’.

I’d always puzzled over the last words of my Grandmother. She wasn’t really looking at anyone in the room at the time, nor had she been speaking to anyone, everyone was busy arguing about the will. I thought maybe she meant that she was giving up, but she was always so particular about her grammar…

Not to say that it dominated my life or anything, but it was always there in the back of my mind, always something to idly think about.

Until I myself lay on my deathbed, and I saw the threads holding me tight…

Monday, 2 March 2015

Resource Management

He was aware the village thought he was insane. But he knew he was doing a good thing for the future.

Every day, after he’d done all his tasks, as the sun began to set, he’d pick up his shovel and head to the top of the large hill overlooking the village. Once at the top, he’d have time to shovel some dirt down into the valley on the other side of the hill once and then he’d have to head back. One day, eventually, there would be more land to farm.

The landslide brought it forward a good deal.

Sunday, 1 March 2015

Inormal Segregation Law (for American National Defence) Act

Yeah, in retrospect, society didn’t take the rise of Inormals too well. ‘Superbeings’ as a name didn’t last too long after we lost most of Asia in the Inormal War. There used to be land there, you know, not just the Asia Ocean.

Once that happened, the I.S.L.A.N.D Bill, or local equivalents, passed easily. Inormals had a simple choice, submit to experimentation to try and remove their powers, or die. Sorry, ‘segregation to the Arctic’, they’re all there, trust us, really.

I don’t blame normals, although I hate the hate I get.

Not my fault I got a third option…