Growing Investment

I'd just started my shift, when the traveller leant on the fence, looking between me and the field.

"Having a break?" The traveller asked, using the entirely wrong stress points. But I withheld a laugh.

"No, just started."

"Doing what?"

"Watching."

"Watching... what?"

"The field here, I supervise its growing."

"Your job is to watch grass grow?"

"You sound confused, Traveller."

"It's just that the saying... Is this special grass?"

"As special as any other."

"This a religious thing?"

"I'm an atheist."

"Then why the hell do you watch grass grow?"

"Because it's my job, traveller."

I love being self-employed.

Shell

The Doctor stared through the clear plastic shell around the gel tank, and the body inside.

All the sensor readings said they were in prime health, there was nothing wrong with them, physically, that he could find.

And yet they refused to wake up.

He was getting frustrated, he'd checked every medical database and every network, but there was nothing to be found to explain their lack of life.

Eventually, he found a reference to an old text, that had an unorthodox solution. But he was desperate.

And it worked, lightning did indeed bring his stitched together monster to life.

Old Angel

The Angel appeared in a blinding light, thankfully appearing like how we think they look now, rather than the monstrosity that the Bible describes.

"Human!"

I glanced around to make sure I was the only one there.

"Your God commands you!"

I waited for the rest of it.

"To do what?" I eventually asked. The Angel pulled a flaming sword.

"Your son has slept with another man! You must kill them both to cleanse the world!"

"And if I refuse?"

The Angel flickered to looking how the Bible described them, and I understood why people did as told back then.

Lasting Words

Everyone had a unique voice.

You wouldn't think so, given how few words everyone had, but you still could sense people's personality, even in just a handful of words.

You had the serious but optimistic people who listed the details so they can be found later

You had the jokesters who were denying what was happening, ordering a pizza or giving bust measurements or something.

But in all of them, it's 57GH-8 that gets me, that said simply "I don't want to go."

Very apt gravemarker statement, I thought. Turns out it was a reference to a human TV show.

Probed

As soon as Earth got past light speed, we were warned by a repeating, automated broadcast, go quiet, go dark. The Technodroids were searching for societies worth consuming, based on either finding them physically, or sensing their technology. They were probing the galaxy for another few dozen years then leaving.

Earth heeded the warning, and went silent, intent to wait it out, like every other race.

And then the Technodroids found the Earth, descending from the skies, led there from a sublight speed probe with a record on it that led them directly to Earth. Not that Earth knew that.

10,000 Hours

I watched him paint, marvelling at his work. Every stroke a masterpiece, the end result perfect. I couldn't believe his skill.

But I knew I was was seeing the end result of a lifetime of work, I wasn't seeing the training, the failed attempts, the crap before the gold.

I watched as he finished, placing the brush and palette down. I approached him slowly, smiling.

"That's amazing work. How long have you been painting?"

"Oh, this is my first go, I just wanted to try it out once."

I never felt more annoyed than I did at that exact point.

Johnny And Molly

Growing up, she was just my Granny Molly. She made a great chocolate cake, and never spoke. They told me she was a mute.

Then, after my parents died, my grandparents long gone, in their estates, there were letters.

Granny Molly was a witch, they claimed. She'd lived for centuries, but fell in love with Granddad and given up that life of living in the woods of Europe to be with him, and she remained silent so her enemies couldn't find her.

All I could think about was why she always made me cake, and how her oven was huge.

Cut_numbers.POP

Once USBrain drives became common, the market for knowledge matrixes (once they were named after that movie, no-one could agree on the plural) exploded. And while there were plenty of regulated and tested ones that did a little, everyone also had a bunch of homemade ones that had been uploaded to ultratorrents.

And sure, everyone ran virus checkers and code-testers, but those simple little programettes that would automatically take over if you were trapped in an elevator, or attacked by a guy with a knife, few people checked what they'd actually do.

"Plunge neck towards knife" isn't a good plan.

Beamed Up

The aliens brought many wonderful technologies, we happily took their improved farming techniques, their cold fusion, so on.

But then they brought out instant transportation, which is how they got here. And that sounded amazing, but then they explained that it worked by scanning the item, or being, destroying them, and rebuilding them elsewhere.

And then a representative wearing a cross on their lapel asked about what that meant for the soul.

We had hoped to slowly introduce religion to them, rather than suddenly, which set them off.

On the plus side, by their own admission, they were soulless husks.

Algebraic Notation

I had only one casting of Word-Send left for the day after several moves in the chess game I was playing with The King. By the time I could cast anything more powerful, it would be too late. I had to tell the King that if he did as planned, and retreated to his summer castle, he would be ambushed. But I had only three words, and I couldn't be sure a traitor wouldn't be there when he received it in smoke.

But then, we were chess players.

"O-O is Checkmate" was just enough to get the message across safely.

Pain And Purpose

I walked over to him, a few steps away from the fire, where most of the squad was either engaged in or cheering on a 'friendly' fight. I sat down next to him and offered a swig of whisky. As he took it, I reached out.

"You wanna come join the rest of us?"

He swallowed the booze and handed back the bottle.

"No pain without purpose, no purpose without pain."

I considered this.

"The purpose of this is to help avoid future pain, though."

He winced, clearly pained by my extension of the metaphor. But he walked over, eventually.

Murdered Portrait

On the morning of the fifth day, after the ninth death, I found her in the dining room, staring at the portrait. A rather bored looking 18th century guy stared back at her.

"You ok? I know you and the Professor were close, but the storm should be-"

"This is different."

I chose my next words carefully.

"I know you're stressed but you're not suggesting magic here?"

"What? No, of course not, it's hanging slightly differently."

As she said this, she pulled it down, revealing a blank wall.

Luckily she then smashed the frame and we found the poison supply.

Support Group

I had been warned by Neph that I would have to speak, but it still surprised me when Nick, after introducing me to the group seated in cheap plastic chairs in a rough circle, told me to say a few words about myself.

I slowly stood up, glancing around the group. Most of them were male and of color. That had kinda thrown me, before I finally agreed to come along I'd have assumed they would mostly be, well like me. But I'd have time to fix that.

"Hi, my name is Danny, and like you all I'm now immortal..."

4/4 Beat

They had danced around the topic for years. Both of them recognized the song, knew the steps, saw how this would end.

Both of them knew that they couldn't lead, their would-be partner wouldn't abide them taking control like that. And while plenty of mutual friends would have loved to welcome them into their dance squares, when they pushed, it just separated the pseudo couple.

But eventually the pull of the dancefloor was enough that they came together, finding a compromise to settle into a tempo both could live with.

Unfortunately though, after one song the beating began to happen.

DBP Lines

"XD46, proceed to counter 18."

A flickering holoprojection walked up to the counter, 'slamming' their holoticket onto it.

"I'd like my body back please."

I have my programmed smile.

"Of course citizen, I'll help if I can. Where did you last see it?"

"I left it in a clearly marked parking bay down on Sulivan Street."

I looked it up.

"This is outside the Pleasure Experience Some?"

The holoprojected representation flickered.

"I... Don't know, I was elsewhere, for a brief moment over the limit!"

"Six hours?"

"I..."

"Unfortunately citizen, your body has already been crushed, here's the form for bodystamps."

The Mechanical Turkey

It was the talk of the court, a mechanical wonder that could play a dozen grandmasters of chess at once, and be competitive at it.

Once I was finally able to see the device for myself, although of course its designers refused to let me see the inner workings.

I pointed out to the court that given it needed an even number of players, of white and black, it was merely transferring moves.

So they sat me down and played a solo game.

I was amazed, until I quickly started a second game and it made the exact same moves.

2 Coins Worth Of Paperwork

"Name?"

"Impudent fool, do you know who you are addressing?"

"Obviously not, since I'm asking for your name."

"You dare-"

"Although I suppose it's true that I am supposed to go through the checklist with everyone, even if I do know them."

"You are addressing Lord Master Veida, and you-"

"Right, got it. Cause of death?"

"Cause of death? What?"

"You're supposed to have been given an orientation package, that bloody ferryman, he's always slacking off..."

"But... But my plan was perfect! I was to become a god!"

"Yeah, funny how the current one might have issue with that, huh?"

Stream Transcript

"Um, so hi, welcome to the Spin Cycle. On today's stream, I'm going to, like, be playing through Sonic 2 as Knuckles, and-"

*splash*

"Oh, thank you Al_Scarface for the donation of ten thousand dollars, very generous. Anyway, as I was-"

*splash*

"Tommy_DeLay with the five thousand dollars , thank you so much!"

*splash*

"Swiss_Banker420 with the twenty thousand, man you are all so kind to the stream tonight, so why don't we-"

*knocking*

"Uh, be right back, someone's at my door."

*smashing*

"Mayer Plansky, you are under arrest for money laundering, you have the right to, wait turn that off!"

Risk And Opportunity

I first saw the tattoo as he reached up to stack toilet cleaner on the aisle 7, section 12, shelf 2. Three Chinese Hanzi characters. I instantly knew the backstory, and how it clearly meant 'fate' or some such according to him. At least it wasn't a swear word, he got off light with 'bulldog'.

When we were on break, I asked him (slyly) what it meant. He told me it was his horoscope, how he was Taurus in one system, born in the year of the Dog in the other, thus he was a Bulldog.

I was very disappointed.

Not A Meal

The eyes. That's what always stands out to me when I'm forced to relive those few moments.

It was a monstrosity from another dimension, holding me down to try and consume me, which due to its mouth, I guess, being so far away from its eyes meant it was chewing on my stomach while staring into my eyes.

Sure, the pain was overwhelming, and not even the strongest healing potion can remove the scaring, but those eyes, piercing blue, dilated, so familiar.

Why did it have my eyes? Am I to become it?

Anyway, enough of that, am I pregnant?