Hardy Winery Shiraz 2010

It wasn't a big earthquake by any standard, 4.3 on the scale, apparently. But it was enough to knock over one of my new wine racks, which dominoed the rest of them, sending all of them crashing to the floor.

Only one bottle survived. And sure, insurance covered everything, but that one bottle, it became my symbol of survival. I kept it front and center, and it kinda brought me comfort, in a weird way.

And now, as I lay here, about to die, I finally opened it and drank it.

Turns out it was a counterfeit but that's ok.

Froganomics

He rushed into the room and stood where I couldn't avoid seeing him but where I could still see the TV screen as I played.

"You know who Michigan J. Frog is, right?"

I quickly apologised and muted my mic before I spoke.

"Um, he's that dancing and singing from from Disney, right?"

"Looney Tunes, well Merrie Melodies technically, but still, I realised his story is a perfect analogy!"

"For?"

"Well, the guy finds him, right, and rather than just enjoy him as a novelty, he keeps trying to commercialise him. Just like side-hustling hobbies!"

I returned to my streaming. 

Human Resources

I got just outside the door of my former employer, and then it all hit me and I fell to my knees, my box of personal items spilling all over the sidewalk.

As tears began to fall down my face, I heard familar steps behind me. I turned my head and saw Simon approaching me.

We'd been so much together, even though he was a security guard and I had been a VP. I looked up at him, a faint smile starting to form.

"Sir, you're blocking the doorway, please move before I call the police."

That completely ruined me.

Australian Coffee

I thought the tour of the office was done, with only thirteen people making comments about my Australian accent.

But my new manager made a point to show me to the break room, which looked like every office break room you've ever seen. But she was very proud of herself as she told me about how she'd had a couple Australians at her last job, and that she knew how important good coffee is to us, and she showed me the new machine she'd put in.

So now I'm forced to drink coffee all day, and I still hate it.

A New Earth

We landed on the surface three years to the day after we left Earth. At first, everyone was focused on the thousands of tasks it took to build the settlement that we didn't really care that the messages from Earth had stopped.

But the day after the party when we grew the first potato on this new planet, thoughts turned to Earth and it's silence.

We sent back messages across all frequencies, not just the restricted ones.

Three months later, we got a reply, from what Humanity had become.

We had a bit under three years to prepare for attack.

Soothing Destruction

I heard horrible crunchy noises coming from my son's room, so I looked in, finding him lying on his bed, looking at his phone, the source of the noise.

"What's causing that noise?"

"I'm watching industrial grinder videos."

"What are they grinding?"

"Scrap metal, electronics, stuff like that."

"Why?"

"Mostly they're reclaiming metals and-"

"No, why are you watching them?"

He paused for a moment, clearly needing a moment to find the words.

"I like watching something get destroyed."

I shook my head and walked out, back to my Mancave to watch the 59's totally murder the last placed team. 

Meltdown

A lot of people talk about that moment where some small inconvenience happened that set them off and triggered a full breakdown.

I was at that point myself as I grabbed my last can of beer from the fridge. Fired from my job, girlfriend leaving me for another man, my dog missing for a week at that point, I was on my last thread.

And then when I opened the beer, it sprayed out all over me.

But before I could have my meltdown, I noticed it was green, which meant I had won a major prize.

Meltdown avoided.

Briefly.

Wish Fulfilled

His name was Canard, and he came from the Frozen Norths. He was the greatest Axefighter the world had ever seen, and he fought on behalf of the downtrodden and weak. But he needed me around, and gave me all the rewards and spoils he got in exchange for me to hang around.

Not to help fight, I was useless. But his Gods had stated that true warriors had to die in battle but return home afterwards. I agreed to this, assuming anyone capable of killing him would kill me too.

But then we fought this necromancer...

He's coming home. 

Ring Around

When the phone began to ring, we looked at each other, scared.

After a long moment, I sighed and picked up.

"What?"

I listened to the psycho's instructions, about how only one of us would survive, that we had to decide who it would be, and that whoever it was that we decided to live should leave the room within 60 seconds.

I hung up, and told her that we had to leave the room, and made sure she left first so I could close the door behind her.

Should have known he was lying and reversed the outcomes involved. 

The McTavish Ranch Fire

The McTavish ranch burnt down one cold January night, and it changed four lives forever.

Mrs McTavish lost her husband and her son, and became a cruel, cold woman who took advantage of the kindnesses of the town.

Little Billy McTavish was kidnapped in rhe confusion and ended up riding with the Three Noose Gang.

The ranchhand Julio was blamed for the fire and was beaten and ran back over the border, quickly.

And Charles McTavish died, which is quite the change.

And yet, the person who started the fire ended up unchanged.

I got better at setting them though. 

Taken Down

After a short time enjoying the warmth of my sleeping bag, I got out of it and crawled out of the tent, only to find my camp fire had been fired back up and a man I didn't know sat by it.

"Morning?"

He didn't turn around.

"Apologies mister, but I needed one last warming of my bones."

"I'm not too worried about the fire. More wondering who you are."

"I'm the man who's supposed to be taking you back to face justice. But damn snake bit me. So unless you're willing to help-"

I was already swinging my axe.

Truly A Gentleman

The bar was fairly packed, loud music and louder conversations.

I finally got to the front row at the bar itself, and waited, while an attractive young woman was next to me.

As I watched, a hurried man behind the bar looked at me.

"Yeah?"

I gestured to the woman, who quickly ordered two drinks then turned to me and spoke quickly as her drinks were being made.

"I'm here with my boyfriend, not interested."

I quickly nodded and let her leave, while I waited for another bartender who hadn't made cocktails right after picking up garbage in his hands. 

Soul Liquidator

The first sword called Soul Liquidator was made as one of the first weapons ever, as the Twenty Gods fought to establish dominance in the new universe.

The second one was made a thousand years later in order to murder the God that had won the previous fight.

The third and fourth ones were made at roughly the same time by two princes looking to win their kingdom.

The fifth through nine millionth were inside a video game, and a whole lot of merchandise versions.

This last fact makes the spell that summons a random one nigh on totally useless.

Blown Chance

After the first warp portal was formed for a fraction of a second, unintentionally, in a laboratory in Germany, Humanity was contacted by the Galactic Collective, and negotiations began to have Humanity be allowed to explore the galaxy.

Most of the negotiation was internal, however, as there was one major political power that refused to accept there was a limit to what they could do. It was of course the one you're thinking of.

But the problem was solved when it was revealed they'd blown the first attempt from the Galactic Collective to contact us at some town called Roswell.

"Desperate (2023)"

I was working on a base coat of my next piece when my agent came by to pick up my more recent works.

She looked them over, reviewing the titles on my notepad.

"So I've noticed a theme with your current works."

I shrugged.

"I'm sure. I don't get everything out in just one piece, usually."

She picked up one of them, a painting showing several naked women.

"And what is this getting out?"

"Capitalism and its grind mentality strips us of all our humanity."

I know that offended her sensibilities, but better that than admitting I was just horny.

Post Society Selfishness

After the fall of the previous society, there was a period of adjustment where a lot of people died, I won't lie. And I'm not saying what we have now is better. It's different, certainly, and the obvious improvements are counter-balanced by the obvious disadvantages.

And sure, we all have to work much harder, for lives that are shorter, and tougher, and much more dangerous.

But the thing is, the relationships that have formed after the fall, they only exist because of it. My wife would never think of marrying me prior.

After all, I asked right before the fall.

Blank Check

I was under no delusions about whose life I saved that day. Even with my deliberate attempts to remain separate from the seedy parts of my neighbourhood, I knew who Eddie Caidends was. After I saved his life after the shooting, he tried to get me to name a price. I refused, and eventually he forced me to take a blank check, a literal one, to cash in a favor with him, almost anything.

Ever since, I've come close to destroying it.

But now, the life I shouldn't have saved will allow me to end a life that should end.

Supermax

Putting the Supermax prison on one of the larger asteroids in the Asteroid Belt made sense given how the intention was for the prisoners to operate the mining machines.

But every few cycles, there would be a riot and uprising, the prisoners taking over the prison, forcing the home planet to send a few battlecrafts and wiped the prison clear, and start all over again.

At least, that was the story. When I arrived after another supposed uprising, I found a prison operating just fine.

Turns out they want to execute prisoners but maintain a certain level of plausible deniability.

Controlling The Board

I thought I had the city perfectly balanced. The Thieves Association and the Assassin's League hated each other and thus kept each other in check. Every cult, sorry, Religious Organisation may have worked with another one but hated at least two others.

The Merchants hated the Craftmakers, the four Magic Covens all opposed the others, and everyone hated the Beggars.

Plus, I had the ultimate backup plan, in case things went bad. And when one of the Covens unearthed the Necrography, I summoned the Dragon.

I was not expecting them all to win and learn to work harmoniously together, dammit.

Wonder Why

I recall the day I learned how the world truly worked.

It was back in high school, in music class, each student had to pick a song and give a talk on it. Not particularly caring about music to the degree of studying it, I picked a goofy one hit wonder I liked and knew a couple of basic trivia points about, and have a speech that was comedic, ripping off on a ad campaign going on for a completely unrelated product.

In a sea of well-researched, factually correct, but slightly boring speeches, I got top marks.

Says everything, yeah?

Thump

Thump.

I could feel my heart beating in my chest.

Thump.

Every pump of blood was like a jolt of electricity through my body.

Thump.

It reminded me that, despite my earlier thoughts on the subject, I was alive.

Thump.

And every beat reminded me that if I was alive, I had something I had to do.

Thump.

I slowly, painfully, got back to my feet.

Thump.

I picked up the half melted mace, and began to head towards the man trying to destroy us all.

Thump.

Then three more in rapid succession.

His heart stopped thumping.

So did mine.

Good Chat

I mentioned to my wife that I was seeing one of my oldest friends that day, the one I hadn't seen in years. She was pleased by this, it seemed.

He knocked on our front door around midday. I opened the door, we said our hellos, I invited him in, he said he had to rush, so I gave him the 3D-printed figure I'd made for him and said goodbye.

My wife was stunned when I walked back in, saying it was typical of men to act like that.

I tried to explain we chat online everyday, somehow that's different?

A.K.A.

I began to rapidly move the Mahjong tiles around to mix them up, which is known as washing them.

We then began to play, until one of the attendents tapped me on the shoulder, which is known as an acceptable interruption in this club.

I got up and walked to the phone booth, the only connection to the outside world allowed, known as the Crimson Booth.

I accepted the collect call, also known as a reverse charge call.

And I was told of what had happened to my wife, also known as the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Pierced

The Spacepiercer Craft was launched back nuclear power was the best we had, and so it used radioactive decay as a power source. And this meant that it would eventually decay and go dark. We knew it would be soon, but every hour, we listened and hoped for another datapack.

That was a month ago, and it was still sending messages.

While everyone was pleased, eventually we got concerned, and asked for a self-diagnostic check.

We were expecting a 0.05% power level remaining message.

It said 95%.

We checked our telescopes, and then saw it was coming back to us.

Storm

I watched the rain fall down from the sky outside my window, and I thought about her.

And true, most things reminded me of her in some way, but this was different. Rain always played a part in our lives together, it seemed.

We met when I offered her my umbrella to cross the field in the rain.

It was raining when I said I loved her, it was raining when she said she loved me,  it was raining when we first made love.

But it wasn't raining when she had the car crash.

Might have washed the oily road.

On The Menu

I sat down at the counter. She looked over and raised an eyebrow. I nodded, she nodded, and I checked my phone for a bit before she brought over my usual order, eggs, bacon, toast, extra hot sauce, and a black coffee.

After a few bites of everything, I gestured for her. The waitress came over, looking curious.

"How's the chef? Everything ok?"

She looked stunned.

"He was pretty angry this morning. How did you know?"

I tapped the toast.

"I know he makes his own bread. And this is some of the toughest bread I've ever eaten."

"Oh. Ok."

Given Up

As she shoved her clothing into a bag, she moved on from why my attitude was the reason she was breaking up with me to why these half a dozen habits I had were the real real reason for her breaking up with me.

As she was about to walk out my front door, I called out to her.

She stopped, and turned around. She demanded to hear my last big speech or my useless gesture before she walked.

I pointed out she'd forgotten her toothbrush and then rolled over and went to sleep, which I'm sure didn't help matters.

Needs Of The Army

The fact is, you don't need to look too hard for people willing to die and kill for their country. Certainly in war you need them, I'm not denying that. But the thing is, there's a lot of people like that out there, and it's honestly a mindset that is easy to engineer into someone.

And for that matter, generals and leaders, as much as they think they're unique and special, they're fairly interchangeable too.

It's the organisers, those that can get all of those people fed, clothed, and armed in hours? They're the ones you need to search for.

The Keepers Of Reality

The secret organisation had protected the world for centuries from the threat from outside this universe, from the creatures between realities.

Of course, there hadn't been an incursion in centuries, which meant that the organisation had to diversify into other areas, to solidify their power and ensure they could respond to any incursion.

This meant that they had to finance several global businesses, so they had the money and the resources needed, which did directly lead to many people being poor, exploited.

But you must understand, each incursion in the past led to a death, and twelve is too many...

Red, Red Wine

I poured out the last of the wine into her glass, and looked at my glass.

"I... Should we... Another bottle? You know?"

She considered it for a long moment, although that was mostly due to the alcohol.

"Yeah, why not? How often does your heart break?"

I grabbed a bottle, after a couple false tries, and opened it after a single false start.

"Well, I know your heart is what you were saying, but mine breaks all the time."

She looked at me over her glass.

"Huh?"

"Seeing you mistreated like that, I mean."

That sobered her right up. 

Take A Shot

I ended up getting a gun and aiming at him. He laughed, looking between the gun and me.

"You honestly think I'll be scared of you? You could never shoot me. After all, with all that I've done to you, all the punishment I've inflicted on you, you should have shot me a thousand times over. What has possibly changed over the past few years that means you suddenly have the balls to do it?"

I took a breath as I approached him.

"I finally realised that you could do it."

I grabbed his hand and made him shoot himself.