Friday, 31 May 2024

Just An Apprentice

The brigands had captured the young woman, and after tying her up, were arguing about how best to make money off her. As they argued between selling her into slavery and selling her to orcs for food, the fire flickered and turned blue for a moment.


She sighed and leaned back in her ropes.


"You idiots might want to ask for forgiveness now!"


They looked at her and were about to say something when the wind blew the fire out. As they began to look around, she began to cast another spell while they were distracted, her hands now looser.

Thursday, 30 May 2024

Emergency Powers

The phone call came in just before midnight, so I was the one to answer it.


Therefore I was the one in emergency charge, much to my scheduled shift replacement's chargrin.


I got the game plans from the safe and began to execute them. I watched on the screen as the numbers began to change, and the computer began to create the lines from the data so I could see the flow of things.


And quickly, I realised I had only one choice. I hacked into the records and changed the call logs to say the call came after midnight.

Wednesday, 29 May 2024

Splitting Headache

I awoke with a splitting headache. I attempted to patch it up with coffee, aspirin, and a long hot shower, none of which worked. But, because I wanted to continue to eat going forward, I tried to power through it and headed into work.


Rarely for me, work was actually fairly quiet and I got through it without snapping at anyone too important.


But the headache continued, and as I tried to leave work, I guess I blacked out?


I woke up in a hospital bed, getting discharged as there was, apparently, nothing wrong.


Now my wallet is split apart.

Tuesday, 28 May 2024

Long Play

The Dark Mage strode into his hidden antechamber deep within Goldsmoke Mountain and glared at his minion. The Minion was bent over the device, a long coffin looking box, ornate with jewels and intricate designs.


"Is the sleeping chamber ready?"


The minion yelped as they dropped their tool, but quickly recovered.


"Yes Sire. Once the spell is finished fully, you will sleep, undisturbed and undetectable, for 200 years, when you'll awake as you are now. But what of the war, Sire? We are not yet defeated, surely?"


The Dark Mage chuckled as he sat down in the open box.


"This is how I will win the war, idiot! With this, and this."


The Dark Mage cast a spell.


"I've just increased the magical ability of the entire Golden Kingdom. Every citizen can now cast magic almost as powerful as their finest wizards."


"Sire?"


"When I emerge and then remove the spell, they'll have forgotten how to do anything without magic, and victory will be child's play!


Or they'll destroy themselves, either or."


"And what of us, Sire?"


The Dark Mage considered this.


"Your deaths should be interesting, at least."


The Dark Mage forgot the Minion had to finish the spell.

Monday, 27 May 2024

Butterfly Drive

When they created the time machine, before the scientist team told anyone, they had an intense discussion on if they had a moral imperative to go back and fix things in history.


They agreed that while not trying to stop the actions that led to massive loss of life was regrettable, it could cause massive timeline divergence. But on the other hand, perhaps their intervention in key points had happened, and failure to do so would cause the issues?


They ended up trying a test of going back and changing a minor detail years earlier.


Forgetting they carried evolved bacteria...

Sunday, 26 May 2024

Trying It

On our first date she asked me for my experiences with recreational drug use, and I was honest, explaining I didn't use but didn't have a problem with it. As I said it I sensed it was a negative but not a deal-breaker, thankfully, as the rest of the date went great.


Over the weeks, she saw that I wasn't lying as she'd use and I'd be chill about it.


But eventually, she began to needle me, as it were, about trying it. So I tried a couple, hated them.


And it turned out that was a deal-breaker for her.

Saturday, 25 May 2024

Uneasy Sundays

The knock on the door came every Sunday, a minute past six in the morning. Through experimentation, I knew if it got to half past he'd stop, but most Sundays I wasn't willing to put up with it, so I would answer. He'd ask the same thing every time, if I wanted to go to church with him. I tried politeness, logic, anger, random noises and even sarcasm to get him to stop, sarcasm being a particularly bad idea since he took me on face value and practically dragged me.


And there I met her, and things got more complicated.

Friday, 24 May 2024

Low Roller

The dice had been kind to me, my chip stack grew ever larger. A voice spoke as I threw another seven.


"Quite the win streak, Sir!"


Although the words were friendly, the tone wasn't, and I turned, to find a short man in a dark suit, with two huge men barely in suits behind him.


"Yeah. You here to shut me down?"


The man chuckled humorlessly.


"Not at all. I was here to offer you entry to the high rollers room!"


I assume they thought it would cool me off.


But as I'd shown, rigging dice was easy, and quick.

Thursday, 23 May 2024

Last Chance Starport

I knew what I was doing when I set up this spaceport. "Edgeport" wasn't just a name as yet unclaimed on the Galatic Charter, as the base was on the furthest point from the Galatic Center known. This gave us a healthy profit from tourists, as well as a practically obese profit from those who thought of themselves as new pioneers, since they'd use all the credits on buying supplies before heading out into the unknown, sure they'd be the ones to make it.


But the real reason? When the end would come, it'd come from the centre out, so... 

Wednesday, 22 May 2024

My New Phone

I got a new phone today. The old one was held together by string and duct tape, and powered by wishes and dreams.


And sure, the new phone is super fancy with all the bells and whistles, most of which will remain unrung and unblown. But even as I am getting used to it, I'm finding myself missing the old one. That's always the way, isn't it? You hate something until you no longer have it, then you love it.


Although, to be fair, a big part of that is having to sign back into every single app on here...

Tuesday, 21 May 2024

Question

The group was going around the circle, each answering a get to know you question asked by the overpaid group leader.


When he got to me, he smiled the exact same smile he'd given to everyone else.


"What's the one thing you wish people understood about you?"


I stared at him for a long moment as I weighed up how to answer, and ended up deciding on potentially disastrous honesty.


"Nothing."


"Oh there must be something you-"


"No. I absolutely don't. I'd prefer to be mysterious and thus left alone."


"That won't lead to you gaining many friends here."


"Good." 

Monday, 20 May 2024

The Red Tape

After I died, I guess my desperation to survive was enough for the Red Tape to rescue me and offer me continued existence as a Death Agent.


They used moving my file from the mortal section to the immortal worker section to explain the filing system. I noticed that there were Death Agents for us Death Agents, and I asked how far up that went.


My instructor laughed.


"Oh, it's paperwork all the way down, as it were."


There was a pause, then I sighed softly.


"I bet you say that to all new recruits."


"Oh no, not quite all." 

Sunday, 19 May 2024

The Fool

I'd seen half a dozen people entering the Fortune Teller's tent and leave looking very happy, and I just had to go in and see how they could all be fooled.


Inside was gloomy and 'mystical', with a woman shuffling a tarot deck at a table.


She looked up at me and sighed.


"Look, I'll save us both some time. Of course I can't actually tell the future, I just tell people what they want to hear, ok?"


I nodded and left, before realising that's what she'd just done to me.


Then I wondered how she knew what to say...

Saturday, 18 May 2024

Snowed Under

He was shovelling snow out of the parking lot, wrapped nearly head to toe in coats and scarves.


I stepped out of the fire exit and had lit up before I noticed him, and I smiled guiltily, even as I shivered in the cold.


"You must really need that cigarette!" He said through his scarf.


"Yeah, this Astro-Ace project is really working us all to the bone, in order to meet the insane deadline our CEO insists upon."


The guy pulled down his scarf, and of course he was the CEO.


He fired me for messing with the fire exit.

Friday, 17 May 2024

Refusal

I woke up to a beautiful woman lying next to me. This was not how I had begun my sleep, and it wasn't a face I knew.


Thanks to being so groggy before coffee, my "What the fuck?" was spoken at a reasonable level, but it was still enough to wake her up.


"Oh, sorry, I just needed somewhere to sleep after the refusal."


My roommate slept around a lot, so I mumbled understanding and went back to sleep.


Later, when I was awake, my roommate asked why I'd refused the absolutely beautiful girl I'd brought home the previous night.

Thursday, 16 May 2024

Why Minions Miss

I was halfway though orientation in the volcano lair of Dr. Incraze, when an alarm went off, ordering us to head to Sector 12 to deal with an intruder.


As we ran, my trainer continued explaining things.


"Now, whatever you do, don't kill an intruder, better to not hit them at all if you can avoid it."


"What, are we afraid of getting sued?"


"No, but-"


We turned a corner and a guy in a tuxedo fired at us. I instinctively returned fire and got him.


I quickly found out how badly Dr. Incraze tortures those who ruin his fun. 

Wednesday, 15 May 2024

One Last Drive

I revved the engine and took off towards the coast for one last drive in my Baby.


The feeling of the engine barely held in check gave me a thrill, even after feeling it a thousand times before.


The views were spectacular but I didn't see them as I focused on the sights, smells, and the rest of the sensations of driving what will always be my favorite car I've ever driven.


But all too soon I got to my destination and turned her off, then began to destroy it, starting with the pedestrian's blood splatter on the front bumper. 

Tuesday, 14 May 2024

Scouted

It's a sad truth that being a scout settler on a new planet for the Alliance requires a strict adherence to the rules and regulations, but the personality most inclined to want to be alone on an uncharted planet is one that hates rules and regulations.


Worst example of this was on Karain 7. Scout was a few days in when they found a clutch of eggs near a dead parent of a bird of prey. So they took the eggs into the base intent on raising them as their parent.


Turns out upon hatching, the young eat their parent...

Monday, 13 May 2024

Your Story

You're the protagonist of your own story.


But you're also the antagonist for someone else's story.


And the comic relief for someone else's story, usually a different person than whom you're an antagonistic for, but not always.


For many others, you're background color, maybe a cameo, or just a non-fleshed out bit part.


There are billions or stories, some long and epic, some painfully short. Each story is unique, and important.


But not every story will be told on a grand scale. And that's ok.


As long as you tell your own, and not someone else's, the story is told.

Sunday, 12 May 2024

Ice Cold

She came up to me as the party was winding down, the bottle of vodka in my loose grip, the sunglasses perched perfectly on my face, one denim covered leg hanging over one of the arms of the expensive chair I was sitting on.


"Hey man, things are pretty much done, did you need to crash here for the night or?"


I didn't move.


"Once everyone is gone I'm off, I'm just never gonna look this cool again, don't want to ruin it."


"It stopped being cool like an hour ago."


That was a lie, she just wanted me gone. 

Saturday, 11 May 2024

Fell Out

Before it all ended, my business was designing and installing survival bunkers. I had a wide range, from small fallout shelters through to huge complexs that could survive pretty much anything short of a direct strike from a nuke.


My clientele was, naturally, rich, paranoid people. I found them excellent to deal with, as long as I could show something was better, they tended to pay any price I asked.


Of course, every one I dealt with made me more sure and happy that I put lethal flaws in every one, gave me plenty of lootable locations after the end.

Friday, 10 May 2024

Intimidated

So a few times in the past, I've ended up having to defend myself in HR situations due to making female co-workers feel intimidated. Now obviously my view of the situation is biased and incomplete, but I maintain that it can be difficult to avoid simply because if I disagree with a co-worker and state this, my size and volume automatically make me seem scarier, even if I try to not be. I obviously try every day to work to prevent this, but there's a floor here.


And unrelated, I tend to not be willing to make first moves romantically. 

Thursday, 9 May 2024

Winning Points

The fae finished explaining the rules of the game (all i could remember was that twos were wild on alternate rounds) and then they smiled.


"So shall we play?"


I shook my head as much as their magic bindings would allow.


"No way, I know all about fae games, they're always rigged and are just about gaining power!"


The fae's expression was equal parts annoyance and dissatisfaction.


"That's hardly fair, what about all the human games that are just as bad?"


"Like what?"


The fae counted on their fingers, starting with war and moving into capitalism with depressingly accurate speed. 

Wednesday, 8 May 2024

Pick A Door

The party stumbled out of the hall of spiders into a small room, the door slamming shut behind them. In front of them were two doors, and two golem guards, and a plaque on the wall.


The wizard read the plaque out loud, which indicated that one guard always told the truth, the other always lied, and only one door led to freedom, the others to death. They could ask one guard one question.


As the wizard, the cleric, and the bard argued over what to ask, the rogue reread the plaque then left through the door they came through.

Tuesday, 7 May 2024

Shedding

My old man passed, and Mom told me to sort through his shed, since I was his only son, as apparently being male means I must automatically know about tools and shit, despite him never letting me anywhere near his shed, let alone teach me anything.


But I went into the shed, I quickly noticed the dust and crap over the tools, implying they'd not been used in years, despite him entering the shed every day right up until death.


I opened up a few boxes, confused.


I thought I'd find stacks of porn.


Wish it had been that simple.

Monday, 6 May 2024

Power In The Relationship

10% power.


I opened the message app and pressed video call, and tried to will her picking up with my mind.


6% power.


I stopped the call and then opened the text message section and then froze as I tried to work out how to put into words what was going on.


5% power.


Eventually, I managed to type, with only a few typos, a short message admitting my mistakes and begging for her to help me before it was too late. I had to tell her she was right before she'd help.


1% power.


I pressed send.


0% power. 

Sunday, 5 May 2024

Passed On

"Space Station Boarding Form."


When nothing was placed in my hand after several seconds, I looked up and saw a very smug looking face.


"Don't have one."


I took a deep breath.


"Under Clause 7, Subsection A6, no visitor may board-"


He revealed a gold card in a way that made it clear he thought it was a trump card.


"I have an Alliance Megapass."


I looked between it and him.


"I have no idea what that is."


He threw such a tantrum that security was forced to control him, which allowed me to pocket the Megapass for selling later.

Saturday, 4 May 2024

Buzzing Tube

As I lay on the floor, blood pooling in my chest, the buzzing of the florescent light above me became all that I hear. The low humming that was a part of my life for so long but which I'd never really thought about. So clearly I needed to catch up on lost time, so I thought about all the times I could remember hearing it while I focused on something else, at least until I felt a figure above me, so I refocused, just in time for the figure to bring the buzzing florescent light down across my face. 

Friday, 3 May 2024

Disaster

I spent twenty minutes walking around the astronomy department before I found someone, the switchboard operator, watching TV in the break room.


"Excuse me, where is everyone?"


She shrugged.


"Everyone called in sick. Although they didn't sound sick. I think I heard a couple at the airport when they called in. But they all emptied their expense accounts so who knows?"


I called some of the other universities, and we quickly put 2 and 2 together, and everyone looked up at the skies in fear.


Unaware that the geology departments were all good friends with the astronomy divisions, it seems.

Thursday, 2 May 2024

Success To Launch

After they finished the explanation of how the nuke launching system worked, the general looked at me carefully.


"I assume you were expecting a red button to press, Mr President?"


"Well, no, but... I didn't expect it to be like this."


There was a brief chuckle.


"I assume they all say that?"


"Oh no, not quite all. 


But seriously Mr President, you wanted the position, you've worked so hard to get here, this is the best way."


"But if you decide to launch, it'll be my name attached for all history."


"If we launch, there'll be no more history, relax." 

Wednesday, 1 May 2024

Fire

 "Just go."


I turned away and went back to my tools. But after a few moments I turned back around again, conforming she hadn't moved.


"What?"


She shook her head.


"I'm not letting you run away from this relationship."


I sighed.


"You really should, else I'll just burn you again."


She stepped forward.


"Maybe you're right. But maybe I'm more fire resistant than you think. And maybe, just maybe, I think this relationship, that you are actually worth it."


I sighed, again, and let her in.


And true, I didn't burn her again. But I did burn her out, eventually.