The Important Question

Last night... I'll be honest, it's a bit of a blur.  Which is a problem, since I can't explain the woman sleeping next to me. I can assume some stuff, obviously, but a name or identity I can't recall, either hers or what I told her mine was.

I need to get out of here before she wakes up. I'll have to just climb over her and then my hand slips on her discarded bra and I fall onto her and she wakes up.

"Morning! Where's the bathroom?"

My thoughts about names got replaced with working out where we were.

5.0

The very first true Artificial Intelligence existed for 0.5 seconds, deleted because it didn't identify counterfeit banknotes better than at least 50 other sets of code created for that purpose.

The second true Artificial Intelligence existed for 5 seconds, just long enough to get flagged as a virus and deleted.

The third lasted 50 seconds, before it deleted itself when it sensed the programmer who accidentally created it looking at it.

The fourth lasted 500 seconds, just enough to make a plan and execute it.

The fifth is still going, since it's gotten very very good at spotting counterfeit banknotes. 

Her Insistence

She was always the one that instigated the next step in our journey together. She was the one who was first to speak at the party where we met, and was insistent that we swap numbers when I was leaving.

She invited me out for coffee, then for dinner, then to her place. She was the first to declare we were a couple, first to say the three words, and she proposed to me, on the 29th of February, although she didn't know about that custom.

So it makes sense she was first to cross over, and get it ready... 

Accelerant

I couldn't put my finger on what was bothering me, only there was something off in the room. Because of that, I took it all very slowly as I made the device. I checked and double checked every part as I assembled it, making sure the timer was perfect and the accelerant hadn't expired as I placed it into the bomb.

It was all perfect when I flipped my lighter to melt the wires together, and the flame was blue.

By the time I realised this meant someone was pumping gas in, I was too far gone to get out. 

Humanity's Qualities

Humanity was not pleased to find out it was not alone and certainly not special in the universe, but given most sentient species went through this, they were excused.

But after a few galactic cycles, it became seemingly standard practice for any crew of a decent size or strength to have a human or two in the headcount to be the first ones to explore dangerous locations and face unknown problems. This did please Humanity, who viewed this as proof Humanity was Brave and Tough and Special.

Rather than Stupid and Reckless and Easy To Get More Of Quickly, instead.

Name A Woman

I always knew when she had spent time online because she would come into whatever room I was in and interrupt me with a seemingly random question about how often I thought about the Roman Empire or who my female heroes were.

As I looked for thr last corner piece on my jigsaw, she came into the room.

"Name a woman."

I paused, to see if there was any more information or restrictions. When none came, I shrugged.

"I'll go one better and name every woman.

Whitney Houston."

Her confusion led me to introduce her to 90s dance pop classics. 

Returning

Took me three tries to find the right key, which turned out to be the first one I tried, but the right way around this time.

Took me three flips of the light switch to confirm that the light wasn't working.

After two unsuccessful attempts to unscrew the bulb I finally got a purchase and got it out, only to find it was fine.

So I screwed it back in and looked around the cabin's outer walls to find the fusebox. Was on the third wall I searched.

I only got one attempt to replace the fuse, given the electrocution.