Typical New Year Guff

Every year, at this time, I tend to do one of these about the new year. Something about looking back at a year, most of them bad so far, and then looking forward to a new year, and some guff about how maybe it'll be good, or more likely about how the coming year will probably be worse, trying to be either right or pleasantly surprised.

And I suppose this is technically more of the same, just without the basic creativity of doing it as a short story.

But I'm just tired. Of this year and just plain sleepy too.

Optic War

He was the hero of the people, the man who was going to single-handedly win us the war, the Captain of our Dreams. His exploits had only needed a slight reworking to become legendary.

He did clear out the entire embankment alone, we just didn't mention the gas bomb dropped moments earlier. Stuff like that.

But then he gets killed by a random squad of grunts on a routine patrol. So we had to finesse that, pump up the numbers.

Unfortunately that just gave the other side more spots to fill up in their Superstar Squad for their own PR.

One Bar Connection

When my old phone came to life and began showing social media that didn't quite line up with reality, I was confused by the error.

Then when it got further apart from what was going on, culminating in a couple of important elections going the other way, I was happy for the escape.

When I saw how that world seemed so much better, I was depressed for obvious reason.

Once every post was about aliens making contact, I was disappointed by missing out.

Then all the posts stopped.

I hope it's just because I've lost connection. But the last posts...

The Hunger

The Hunger could not be sated.

It had existed since time began, an unending need to feast, a being of pure darkness even as the universe around it lit up.

Not that that mattered to The Hunger. The universe and all that dwelled within it were like microscopic specks of detritus, compared to the terrible beauty of The Hunger.

And now, the time was nigh, The Hunger no longer would wait, it would seek out-

"Snookums! Where's my big fluffy ball of cuteness? I've got your din-dins ready!"

The Hunger stretched and padded over to the food bowl to feast.

Catch A Virus

The ground shook with every step the machine took, houses and roads squashed and cracked underneath the alien monstrosity.

Every weapon Humanity had tried had failed, from EMPs to straight out nuking it, large chunks of what was Europe would be uninhabitable for decades. But the machine just kept walking, picking seemingly random items up in its giant claws, staring at it, then crushing them.

No one knows who finally managed to hack in, but the world was saved by that unknown person who linked the machine to wifi.

It was halfway through Humanity's porn when they brought it down.

Post Night Stand

I rolled over, and slowly opened my eyes to find her standing in the middle of the room, quickly throwing on clothing. As she began to spin around, putting on her bra, she noticed I was awake. She gave me a rather strained smile.

"Oh hi, um, look, I'll be honest, I have no recollection of last night and I have no idea who you are, so, yeah, I'm just gonna go."

She threw on a shirt and headed out the door. I gave her a moment, then got up and began to find out where the hell I was.

Crimes Against Nature

Any momentary disorientation when the door was opened was dispelled by the hands pulling me to my feet, and the drumbeats that indicated someone was about to  be executed.

I was honestly surprised it took them this long. I marched along, as my crimes of being 'foreign' and 'unnatural' were read out. I stood against the wall, shaking my head to the offer of a blindfold which was nice, and the offer of a cigarette, which was odd.

Then they shot at me.

I thought they hated me before, but when they found out I was impervious to bullets, man.