Holding Your Peace

 As a professional Wedding March performer, I've been involved in thousands of weddings in my life. Most go off without a hitch, or at least manageable hitches. Trust me, no-one remembers that some of the roses were a little off color.

But in my life, I've seen exactly five weddings stopped mid-ceremony.

Two were straight out of the movies, someone objected, declared their love. One of them actually ran off with the bride, the other failed.

Two more stopped because one of the people involved died before the vows.

The fifth?

Well, I used to have a flute playing fiancé.

Off Color

 The test subject was thrown far across space, ending up on the planet of another race.

They cared for their new arrival and eventually translated the new being's language.

When the guest was dying, they told their new home to create a statue of them, their skin colored as them. And, if any of their race, upon seeing the statue, referred to their likeness by a specfic term, to destroy them.

Generations later, a exploration group landed and was led to the statue.

Much unpleasantness could have been avoided if the guest had considered that racist terminology changed over time.

Rang Off

 The phone rang for several moments before it was picked up.

"What do you want?"

The voice on the line paused for a moment.

"Not the attitude I expected from someone in your position."

The one in their position snorted.

"I don't think I give a fuck what you expected."

"Clearly. So, are you prepared to-"

The one in their position hung up.

The phone rang again, and again, and again. The fourth time, it was picked up again.

"Why are you being so difficult?"

The one in their position laughed.

"Because you're bluffing, you don't-"

The phone blew up.

Deal An Unidle Hand

 The demoness appeared in a burst of flame, and then sighed a long, low sigh wheh she saw who it was.

"Gary. Let me guess, if I reverse your life to birth, you will commit a thousand Dante Units worth of evil on the planet in exchange, yes?"

The old man nodded. The demoness shook her head.

"It always takes you your entire life to get this done, what are you gaining here by this stupid loop?"

"I ain't dead yet, hey? Besides, I'm cutting it down by a few days each time!"

"Fine, sign here for the 753rd time."

Taken From Isolation

The island tribe had been isolated from the rest of the world for centuries. This was achieved by them attacking and killing anyone who landed on the island.

But when the volcano the island was the top of edged closer to erupting, the decision was made to risk it.

An expert on the language they were known to speak centuries ago was chosen to land and to explain what was about to happen.

He found everyone dead.

The diary of their soothsayer said it was specifically the fault of the reading outsider, here to steal them away from their home. 

The Champion Of Freedom

 The Destroyer Of Injustice took another swig of his wine. Then The Saviour Of The Downtrodden turned to the smaller man.

"So I'm in charge now that I offed that old guy, yeah?"

The adviser sucked air through his teeth.

"Well your actions in killing the previous King, oh Sworded One, have created a power vacuum, and in that scenario there is room for someone to slide in and broker peace between the remaining power bases, yes."

"That sounds fucking boring" said The Hero Of Heroes.

"Indeed, hence why you need to be a martyr."

The poisoned wine kicked in.

The Queen's Power

 Her title changed whenever she felt like it, but 'Queen' featured often enough that I defaulted to calling her that most of the time. She didn't notice, as a rule.

She was far too busy making decrees, demanding changes, and altering her lands on her whims to bother caring if I had the exact terminology down.

It tended to be when I said no that she'd focus on my getting it right. On those occasions, then I made sure to call her by the wrong term.

That always got her mad at me, distracting her from realising she was powerless.