Dice Hoard

He walked into my store with a small box under his arm.

"This is the place with the gaming guy right?"

I sighed. Ever since my appearance on that pawn shop 'reality' show where they made me out to be some sort of super genius and dedicated trader in gaming history, every old gamer has tried to sell me their 2nd edition rulebooks for inflated prices.

"What do you have?"

He opened the box.

"Oh, I have some D20s, really old ones."

I rolled my eyes.

"Not interested."

He left.

Later on, I saw ancient Egyptian dice being auctioned off. 

The Thing With The Head Priest

Everyone knew about the thing with the Head Priest, and adapted to deal with it.

While he was of course treated with nothing but respect and honor, as befitted a man of his stature and position, people made sure things occured in a certain way.

Young people were never left alone with them, their mail was checked by the Incense Master, every week during absolutions his quarters were searched, and certain comments and jokes were to be politely ignored and let slide.

Only because, well, everyone knew about the thing with the Head Priest.

All except the God involved, apparently.

No Choice

I was presented with my choices by the Royal Adviser. After studying them for a moment, I looked at him.

"Adviser, help me understand something."

"Of course, your majesty!"

"Well, I have 5 options here, yes?"

"Yes indeed your majesty, quite plentiful!"

"Except doing nothing and waiting for further developments are the same thing, and invading either of our neighbouring kingdoms is clearly suicidal."

"Masterfully spotted, your majesty!"

"So essentially I can do nothing, or pay for spies under your direct employ and control, in such a way as to not allow for oversight?"

I sipped my poisoned wine, stupidly. 

DJ Discretion

I made it clear whenever anyone booked me, I didn't care what the gig was. As long as you paid, I'd turn up, play dance music for the time with my equipment, and leave. You so much as tell me it's a birthday, I won't take the job.

Now, one might think that this meant I worked a lot of gigs for horrible people or flat out criminals, or maybe that I actually played few of those, and instead played gigs for people wanting to hire the criminal DJ.

I wouldn't know, because no-one tells me anything about the gigs.

Futile

The Dark King Of Shadows laughed as we circled each other, weapons drawn.

"Even if you defeat me, you can't run this world, what will you do?"

He misunderstood the look of confusion on my face.

"Yes, you see now the futility in-"

"No, that's not it. I'm confused as to how that's meant to be a threat or make me worry."

"Well obviously you fool, you can't stop this world from falling, so-"

"Maybe, maybe not. But I can stop you, so I'll do that."

I swung, we fought, I won, and I let others battle the other problems.

Stick It To Them

I was just having a coffee sitting outside the cafe, when the two cars suddenly collided head on. They were both going fast, and the resulting crash saw them both spinning around multiple times.

Both the drivers were out cold and injured, and no-one else was around. As I called 911, I saw how one car had stickers about abortion and state rights, while the other one had stickers on similar topics, just the opposite viewpoint.

So naturally, when I was asked, I made sure to be honest and inform the insurance companies how one of them was wholly responsible. 

Gray Hatter Hacker

I hacked into the mainframe with a spoof login authorisation loop, and then began to look for the files I was hired to steal.

But then I found stuff that was much more important. The client just wanted proof the CFO was fucking his secretary. But these files were proof of the company's corruption and illegal practices, enough that even I thought was over the line.

But I couldn't take both, without getting found out. Did I do the right thing, or the profitable thing?

Go visit a news website, you tell me.

You didn't see anything? There's your answer.