For Having A Hangnail

Thanks to the hangnail, I took longer to get dressed.

Thanks to that delay, I missed the train.

Thanks to the missed connection, I wasn’t at the meeting.

Thanks to the absent meeting, I got dressed down.

Thanks to that bitchslap, I took out my frustrations on Stacy.

Thanks to that bitch, I got fired.

Thanks to getting fired, I punched the door on my way out.

Thanks to untempered glass, I got a bloody fist.

Thanks to the injuries, I’ve got huge medical bills.

All for having a hangnail.

And I guess the ecstasy comedown didn’t help me much…