Look for slip of paper to try and remember exact amounts. Fail to do so. Eyeball roughly what you remember your grandmother using.
Preheat oven to 180C, since that bit she always said out loud.
Cream butter until soft, add sugar, beat until light and/or fluffy.
Sift in flour, add poppy seeds, bring mixture into a dough. Ignore that it doesn't look like hers.
Make balls of walnut size, flatten slightly. Put on oven tray, bake until it goes past golden brown since you were distracted downing a bottle of wine.
Cry.
Transfer to wire rack.
Eat them all.
Saturday, 30 June 2018
Friday, 29 June 2018
The Correct Way To Channel Magic
The wizards in their ivory towers, or ebony towers if they prefer, they channel magic via their spells and their staffs. That's correct.
The witches in their covens, they brew potions and poultices to channel magic. That's also correct.
The artificers who channel magic into their devices and machines, correct. The psychics who channel the magic straight into and through their mind, also correct. The bards on every street corner turning tricks, yet again, this magic channeling is correct.
Whatever your method, there isn't a wrong way to channel magic, with one exception.
If you let the magic channel you...
The witches in their covens, they brew potions and poultices to channel magic. That's also correct.
The artificers who channel magic into their devices and machines, correct. The psychics who channel the magic straight into and through their mind, also correct. The bards on every street corner turning tricks, yet again, this magic channeling is correct.
Whatever your method, there isn't a wrong way to channel magic, with one exception.
If you let the magic channel you...
Thursday, 28 June 2018
Never Stop Running
"Never stop running."
Her mother's dying words were always the first thing on her mind when she woke, the last thing she thought about before falling asleep.
What she was running from had changed over the years. At first it was the pain of the loss, then the fear of joining her in death.
But there was no shortage of things to run away from, no end to the amount of people wanting to dig their claws into her.
At least, that's what she had to tell herself. Otherwise she might have to look back. And that she couldn't do.
Her mother's dying words were always the first thing on her mind when she woke, the last thing she thought about before falling asleep.
What she was running from had changed over the years. At first it was the pain of the loss, then the fear of joining her in death.
But there was no shortage of things to run away from, no end to the amount of people wanting to dig their claws into her.
At least, that's what she had to tell herself. Otherwise she might have to look back. And that she couldn't do.
Wednesday, 27 June 2018
The Marker Diamond
It was a flawless diamond, about the size of a tennis ball when it was cut and polished. Its worth was not incalculable, but was very much far beyond any one person to buy.
So it became a symbol almost, one that businesses would buy off each other once they became the biggest and most profitable on Earth. A bank, then an internet provider, then a country, and so on.
A nice way to keep score, but a somewhat wasteful one.
But then the scientific company used it in a giant laser cutting array, which felt very much like cheating.
So it became a symbol almost, one that businesses would buy off each other once they became the biggest and most profitable on Earth. A bank, then an internet provider, then a country, and so on.
A nice way to keep score, but a somewhat wasteful one.
But then the scientific company used it in a giant laser cutting array, which felt very much like cheating.
Tuesday, 26 June 2018
Caught Red Handed
I couldn't see the Officer's eyes behind the reflective sunglasses, which I presumed was the point. Instead I saw my own face reflected where his eyes were.
But I tried to focus and plead my case. Tried to explain why I was speeding, swore to him that my wife was ill. However the cop must have been looking around the car, as he suddenly pulled out his baton and pointed at the bag of weed poking out of my jacket on the back seat. He wrote a ticket for speeding and for possession, and thus didn't check the trunk, thankfully.
But I tried to focus and plead my case. Tried to explain why I was speeding, swore to him that my wife was ill. However the cop must have been looking around the car, as he suddenly pulled out his baton and pointed at the bag of weed poking out of my jacket on the back seat. He wrote a ticket for speeding and for possession, and thus didn't check the trunk, thankfully.
Monday, 25 June 2018
Flight MQ647
The plane was in the air for two hours before the trouble started.
The pilots radioed in that one of the engines was a little sluggish, but they were confident they'd be fine.
A few moments later, they reported that it had died, but they felt they would be fine.
Then there was radio silence for several hours, long past the point they should have checked in.
The final message came just as the controllers were starting to activate the various first responses to missing planes.
Oddly enough, anyone who listens to the message feels we shouldn't look for it.
The pilots radioed in that one of the engines was a little sluggish, but they were confident they'd be fine.
A few moments later, they reported that it had died, but they felt they would be fine.
Then there was radio silence for several hours, long past the point they should have checked in.
The final message came just as the controllers were starting to activate the various first responses to missing planes.
Oddly enough, anyone who listens to the message feels we shouldn't look for it.
Sunday, 24 June 2018
Druid Sparce Legend Space
He adjusted the stone wheel one more notch, took hold of the rope hanging from the hole in the roof with one hand, then pulled the lever with his other hand. With a grinding noise, the floor slid into the wall, revealing rusted spikes below. After a moment, the floor slid back, and he let go of the rope.
Sure, he was one of the few people left on the planet who could read Ancient Sudial, but no one knew how it was pronounced. Which made it difficult to unlock a trap based on a pun.
But brute force worked.
Sure, he was one of the few people left on the planet who could read Ancient Sudial, but no one knew how it was pronounced. Which made it difficult to unlock a trap based on a pun.
But brute force worked.
Saturday, 23 June 2018
Got A Bite
Wasn't much biting so I began to pack up my kit when the hole opened up and my last beer and my bait bucket were swallowed up by the ground.
After I made sure I wasn't about to fall into another hole, I leaned over and peered into the hole.
She was lapping at my beer, presumably to wash away the taste of the bait she apparently ate. Legally I was supposed to report her escape, but all I could think to do was to offer her the last sandwich I had.
She was clearly hungry since she bit me.
After I made sure I wasn't about to fall into another hole, I leaned over and peered into the hole.
She was lapping at my beer, presumably to wash away the taste of the bait she apparently ate. Legally I was supposed to report her escape, but all I could think to do was to offer her the last sandwich I had.
She was clearly hungry since she bit me.
Friday, 22 June 2018
Airlock Chances
I managed to breathe out right as the airlock dumped me into space, so I was able to see the ship bend reality and vanish to a point several light years away.
I spent what I assumed was my last twenty or so seconds of conciousness before another hundred of mere existence, cursing the bitches who had betrayed me and tried, desperately, to curse them, since there was no way I could be saved, the odds of another ship appearing were astronomical.
But the odds of me thinking the right combination of curse words to become a ghost? Slightly lower.
I spent what I assumed was my last twenty or so seconds of conciousness before another hundred of mere existence, cursing the bitches who had betrayed me and tried, desperately, to curse them, since there was no way I could be saved, the odds of another ship appearing were astronomical.
But the odds of me thinking the right combination of curse words to become a ghost? Slightly lower.
Thursday, 21 June 2018
Breaking In
The mansion had 65 rooms, if you include hallways, so it wasn't that surprising that there were a few rooms we didn't go into, and thus why it was a few years after moving in that we discovered one was locked and that we didn't have a key.
That's not too shocking, except whenever we got a locksmith or builder in, they'd injure themselves before they could unlock or break the door.
Eventually I set a timer on a drill and left the house, and upon returning, I found a broken lock and an empty room.
At first, I mean.
That's not too shocking, except whenever we got a locksmith or builder in, they'd injure themselves before they could unlock or break the door.
Eventually I set a timer on a drill and left the house, and upon returning, I found a broken lock and an empty room.
At first, I mean.
Wednesday, 20 June 2018
About My Viewpoint
My viewpoint is unique only in the sense that everyone is unique, that no one can say they've had the exact same life as me.
I acknowledge that as a straight white male my viewpoint has in the past been seen as the default, and that even now it still carries more weight than it deserves.
I don't wish to apologize for this, beyond the general sense that I am very sorry that this is the case. I can, and do, express regret without accepting blame.
All I can, and do do, is offer my viewpoint. Take only if desired.
I acknowledge that as a straight white male my viewpoint has in the past been seen as the default, and that even now it still carries more weight than it deserves.
I don't wish to apologize for this, beyond the general sense that I am very sorry that this is the case. I can, and do, express regret without accepting blame.
All I can, and do do, is offer my viewpoint. Take only if desired.
Tuesday, 19 June 2018
Not Become My Parent
She spent most nights with me, despite my efforts to get her to go out.
I loved spending time with her, but I wanted to make sure she was still engaging with other people. I did not want to end up like my father, holding my mother practically captive, not letting her do anything without his approval and observance. So I was always encouraging hobbies and making sure she saw her friends often.
She understood, but kept sticking to me like glue. Eventually she told me how her father had never been home and that's why her mother left them.
I loved spending time with her, but I wanted to make sure she was still engaging with other people. I did not want to end up like my father, holding my mother practically captive, not letting her do anything without his approval and observance. So I was always encouraging hobbies and making sure she saw her friends often.
She understood, but kept sticking to me like glue. Eventually she told me how her father had never been home and that's why her mother left them.
Monday, 18 June 2018
Magic In Society
The Guild had a rule about taking jobs from those not in the Guild. There were set limits on what you could do, how much you could help, how limited your used spells had to be.
Magic had to be shown to help people, but not do often as to be relied upon. Crops needed to be planted, buildings built, life needed to be able to carry on regardless.
Smart people outside the Guild theorized that there was a point where magic would run out.
The Guild was just preparing for the day when magic would have to take over.
Magic had to be shown to help people, but not do often as to be relied upon. Crops needed to be planted, buildings built, life needed to be able to carry on regardless.
Smart people outside the Guild theorized that there was a point where magic would run out.
The Guild was just preparing for the day when magic would have to take over.
Sunday, 17 June 2018
Grasping The Point
It took longer for him to learn about appropriate touching than it did for most people. Not because he tried to touch other people in places he shouldn't, but rather he seemed unable to grasp the notion of not grasping someone else as hard as he could. Parents, teachers, counselors, a lot of people had worked hard to get him to touch softly.
But if they all could see him now, see how he was holding her wrist, so tenderly, they'd be very impressed, except for the fact that her wrist was no longer attached to the rest of her.
But if they all could see him now, see how he was holding her wrist, so tenderly, they'd be very impressed, except for the fact that her wrist was no longer attached to the rest of her.
Saturday, 16 June 2018
War Trigger
How often do you get to hold something in your hands that could change the universe?
I mean, sure, people trying to sell you stuff will say your hands and mind can change the universe, but a data crystal that proves that the war that has consumed half the known planets and killed billions was started by a lie? A chance to save billions more lives and end a decade of conflict? So much potential power in such a little thing.
Of course I smashed it into powder. I'm making far too much selling weapons to both sides to stop.
I mean, sure, people trying to sell you stuff will say your hands and mind can change the universe, but a data crystal that proves that the war that has consumed half the known planets and killed billions was started by a lie? A chance to save billions more lives and end a decade of conflict? So much potential power in such a little thing.
Of course I smashed it into powder. I'm making far too much selling weapons to both sides to stop.
Friday, 15 June 2018
Stay Strong
My parents, my sister, my brothers.
They've spent weeks trying to break me, trying to make me forget about my past life.
My parents, my sister, my brothers.
They blank me, they can rewrite me. So I keep my family at the forefront of my mind.
My parents, my sister, my brother.
I do that, and they can't break me.
My parents, my sister, my brother.
No matter what they do, starve me, drug me, whatever, I stay strong.
My parents, my sister.
Although it's been, what, a couple months maybe?
My parent... Plural or singular?
Wait, who?
What?
What?
They've spent weeks trying to break me, trying to make me forget about my past life.
My parents, my sister, my brothers.
They blank me, they can rewrite me. So I keep my family at the forefront of my mind.
My parents, my sister, my brother.
I do that, and they can't break me.
My parents, my sister, my brother.
No matter what they do, starve me, drug me, whatever, I stay strong.
My parents, my sister.
Although it's been, what, a couple months maybe?
My parent... Plural or singular?
Wait, who?
What?
What?
Thursday, 14 June 2018
GCSS Kindling
There are 17,257 other people on this generational colony ship.
8,787 of them identify as male, and so I'm not interested in them, as yet.
1,305 of those left are under the age of consent, and I'm not allowed to be interested in them.
4,620 of those left are married, engaged, betrothed, or otherwise spoken for. Any interest I have in them is irrelevant.
1,880 of those left are designated as being of protected gene stock, so my interests can only be superficial.
So 665 options. You'd think that would be enough.
542 down, 123 to go.
Got any tips?
8,787 of them identify as male, and so I'm not interested in them, as yet.
1,305 of those left are under the age of consent, and I'm not allowed to be interested in them.
4,620 of those left are married, engaged, betrothed, or otherwise spoken for. Any interest I have in them is irrelevant.
1,880 of those left are designated as being of protected gene stock, so my interests can only be superficial.
So 665 options. You'd think that would be enough.
542 down, 123 to go.
Got any tips?
Wednesday, 13 June 2018
As Good As Any
Vampires are a threat that every culture needs to deal with. They all tend to deal with it differently.
The Tromini have a garlic plant in every carriage, which also sorts out the occasional snack.
The Mafeys carry a vial around their neck with distilled sunlight inside, useful for reading at night too.
But my favorite is the New Ormiths. In every New Ormith city there's the Party Quarter, where for a block each way around a small room where Vampires are dumped, a giant party is going on at all times and the Vampires are very much not invited.
The Tromini have a garlic plant in every carriage, which also sorts out the occasional snack.
The Mafeys carry a vial around their neck with distilled sunlight inside, useful for reading at night too.
But my favorite is the New Ormiths. In every New Ormith city there's the Party Quarter, where for a block each way around a small room where Vampires are dumped, a giant party is going on at all times and the Vampires are very much not invited.
Tuesday, 12 June 2018
The Celebration Bottle
It was meant to be the bottle of champagne that would celebrate the greatest moment of his life.
He had hoped that that moment would be his wedding night, drinking it with the love of his life, whoever that would be.
But he assumed that it would instead be used to christen the bow of the cruise line he would be lead designer on.
Then he lost his job and got dumped within 24 hours. So he drank it instead.
And that led to him meeting the pizza delivery girl who'd give him dozens of greatest moments of his life.
He had hoped that that moment would be his wedding night, drinking it with the love of his life, whoever that would be.
But he assumed that it would instead be used to christen the bow of the cruise line he would be lead designer on.
Then he lost his job and got dumped within 24 hours. So he drank it instead.
And that led to him meeting the pizza delivery girl who'd give him dozens of greatest moments of his life.
Monday, 11 June 2018
Arranged Switch
There once was a princess, who had a very loyal maid. Everywhere the Princess went, the maid was right behind her. She was the best friend the Princess had, they shared a birthday as well as all their secrets.
So when the Princess was arranged to marry an old Prince from a nearby kingdom but whom she really didn't want to, she sent the maid in her place to give her a better life. But then when the King died and magic proved the maid was the real Princess, switched at birth, the former maid didn't see it that way.
So when the Princess was arranged to marry an old Prince from a nearby kingdom but whom she really didn't want to, she sent the maid in her place to give her a better life. But then when the King died and magic proved the maid was the real Princess, switched at birth, the former maid didn't see it that way.
Sunday, 10 June 2018
To Be The Best
Of all the planets revolving around all the stars moving
around all the galaxies, there has to be a best one, at least according to certain
variables.
One of them has to be the most life-friendly, once you’ve accounted
for the various lifeform needs.
One of them has to be the most beautiful, if you can objectify
such a thing as taste and beauty, which you can.
It’s odd that Earth seems to top so many of these lists.
Well actually no, far from it, but Humanity is just so sensitive
that most everyone lies to make them feel better.
Saturday, 9 June 2018
Got A Minute
Got a minute?
Look, I don't know you, my name is, well that's not super important, it's a funny story actually about how it changed twice but that's neither here nor there, and I'm sorry, again, look, let me start again.
Right, ok, so I kinda lied there, not about my name, but about knowing you, I know you, but you don't know me, and the fact is I need you to stay here for just a moment, until it kicks in.
The poison, it's supposed to kick in within a minute, and yet you seem-
Oh there it goes.
Look, I don't know you, my name is, well that's not super important, it's a funny story actually about how it changed twice but that's neither here nor there, and I'm sorry, again, look, let me start again.
Right, ok, so I kinda lied there, not about my name, but about knowing you, I know you, but you don't know me, and the fact is I need you to stay here for just a moment, until it kicks in.
The poison, it's supposed to kick in within a minute, and yet you seem-
Oh there it goes.
Friday, 8 June 2018
Technically Criminal
The knife technically wasn't illegal, but it would cause questions to be asked if found, with or without his blood.
The meeting technically never happened, but everyone was in the room at the same moment.
The immediate aftermath technically was positive, but only if you consider criminals killing criminals a good thing.
The consolidations technically counted as takeovers, but if no-one was left on a gang, can you still take it over?
The police technically never managed to arrest the new criminal mastermind and ruler of the city.
They just arrested a supposedly unrelated and legitimate businesswoman on a technicality.
The meeting technically never happened, but everyone was in the room at the same moment.
The immediate aftermath technically was positive, but only if you consider criminals killing criminals a good thing.
The consolidations technically counted as takeovers, but if no-one was left on a gang, can you still take it over?
The police technically never managed to arrest the new criminal mastermind and ruler of the city.
They just arrested a supposedly unrelated and legitimate businesswoman on a technicality.
Thursday, 7 June 2018
Ends And Beginnings
Every end is a beginning, every beginning an end.
History is not neat, regardless of how you try to slice it, you always need to go back more to understand causes, and every action has an effect, if only to have prevented some other effect to take hold.
Even if you go all the way back, to the very start of what could be called existence, that's still the end of a lack of existence. But at least the end of everything will be an end.
Except, of course, that it'll just start all over again, like it did before.
History is not neat, regardless of how you try to slice it, you always need to go back more to understand causes, and every action has an effect, if only to have prevented some other effect to take hold.
Even if you go all the way back, to the very start of what could be called existence, that's still the end of a lack of existence. But at least the end of everything will be an end.
Except, of course, that it'll just start all over again, like it did before.
Wednesday, 6 June 2018
Her Important Aspects
Her name wasn't important.
Her smile was important, the way it lit up a room, the way you felt when she had one on her face because of you.
Her body was important, every curve in the right place, every part of her seemingly perfect, and the total being much more than the sum of them.
Her mind was important, sharp, witty, everything you said would be taken in, looked at, judged, and replied to with a much smarter and wiser response.
But her name, that wasn't important. After all, she changed it for every man or woman who paid.
Her smile was important, the way it lit up a room, the way you felt when she had one on her face because of you.
Her body was important, every curve in the right place, every part of her seemingly perfect, and the total being much more than the sum of them.
Her mind was important, sharp, witty, everything you said would be taken in, looked at, judged, and replied to with a much smarter and wiser response.
But her name, that wasn't important. After all, she changed it for every man or woman who paid.
Tuesday, 5 June 2018
Impact Results
I watched the two of them watch over her.
"So which mental issues has she developed?"
"You're being a bit presumptive there."
"Maybe, maybe not. But given what these children have gone through, all the abuse from their father, it would be a miracle if there wasn't some impact."
"Yes, fine, but still. Just because you're right this time, doesn't mean it's not a mistake to be so judgmental I'm advance."
"Agreed, so, what's happened to her?"
"I can't answer that."
"Why not?"
"You know why."
Then the social worker walked in, and I pulled myself out of the daydream.
"So which mental issues has she developed?"
"You're being a bit presumptive there."
"Maybe, maybe not. But given what these children have gone through, all the abuse from their father, it would be a miracle if there wasn't some impact."
"Yes, fine, but still. Just because you're right this time, doesn't mean it's not a mistake to be so judgmental I'm advance."
"Agreed, so, what's happened to her?"
"I can't answer that."
"Why not?"
"You know why."
Then the social worker walked in, and I pulled myself out of the daydream.
Monday, 4 June 2018
The Machine
The machine was not built, not designed, not created. It existed for a purpose, to be used three times, then it would return to the start and await the three uses once more, a never-ending cycle that ensured that what must come to pass would do so.
It would send The Woman back to begin the Essential Society.
It would send The Man forward to be the only one willing and able to kill the Apocalypse Bringer.
And it would send a winning set of lottery numbers to a different person each time. It needed to entertain itself after all.
It would send The Woman back to begin the Essential Society.
It would send The Man forward to be the only one willing and able to kill the Apocalypse Bringer.
And it would send a winning set of lottery numbers to a different person each time. It needed to entertain itself after all.
Sunday, 3 June 2018
Orc Hatred
By the time I caught up to her, her blade was dark green, thanks to the amount of orc blood she had shed. When I approached she turned suddenly, the tip of the sword inches from my face. But I was focused on her eyes, just visible through her armor suits' helmet.
"Honey, you cool?"
"No quarter! More orcs must die!"
I rose my hands.
"I know, I know. But maybe we should go home, kill them later."
I needed to make sure she was home and unarmed before she removed her armor and saw she was an orc now.
"Honey, you cool?"
"No quarter! More orcs must die!"
I rose my hands.
"I know, I know. But maybe we should go home, kill them later."
I needed to make sure she was home and unarmed before she removed her armor and saw she was an orc now.
Saturday, 2 June 2018
Stood Up
It should have been embarrassing, sitting all alone outside a restaurant, waiting for a person to arrive who wouldn't. Being stood up is supposed to be a horrible thing to occur, and when it's a date, that's even worse. Couples inside the restaurant occasionally looking out and sharing quiet chuckles at him the cherry on top.
But he wasn't embarrassed, he didn't think it was all that horrible. It was inconvenient, of course. But he hasn't wanted to do it anyway, he was glad he could leave and go home.
And that attitude was exactly why he was stood up.
But he wasn't embarrassed, he didn't think it was all that horrible. It was inconvenient, of course. But he hasn't wanted to do it anyway, he was glad he could leave and go home.
And that attitude was exactly why he was stood up.
Friday, 1 June 2018
I'm Fine
I'm dictating this now to Google because I'm being trapped by some people who seem to think that I'm extremely rich which seems weird as they saw how our live but apparently they must think I'm double bluffing or something I don't know the factors that I'm in trouble and I require assistance and I need someone to come and get me now please police fire whatever I don't care just send someone now to get me and my location is
Ha ha, what a merry joke. I'm totally fine, no need to send anyone anywhere, all fine.
Extra words.
Ha ha, what a merry joke. I'm totally fine, no need to send anyone anywhere, all fine.
Extra words.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)