Undeath Bay

The supply ships came at the start and end of summer, at the first point the bay unfroze, and the last point before it froze over.

So when the ship came in halfway through spring, I was confused. I approached, and was stunned at how many people were on the ship.

When they mentioned zombies, I laughed, but they showed me enough video to prove they were telling the truth.

Took me a few hours, but I managed to kill them all and destroy their bodies. Had to be sure they hadn't brought the virus with them, you understand, right?

True Appearance

After the human woman was captured, he appeared to her in a flash of hellfire in the form of a demon.

"Pathetic human, tremble before-"

"Demons aren't real."

He stared at her, then vanished, the room filling with mind wiping gas.

He appeared to her as a vampire.

"Hello, welcome-"

"Vampires aren't real."

Another beat, vanish, gas, reappear, this time as a liquid metal robot.

"Human, I have returned to this time to-"

"Why don't you go back to the demon, that was at least original."

He blinked.

"What the-"

She showed her true form to him, to his horror.

Finding Common Hates

She sat me down, looking upset with me.

"So, you know how I met Judy in my spin class, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah, how is she?"

"Well, she's fine. But she told me some stuff from when the two of you were dating. That you told her that you didn't want to have kids and settle down. But you told me that you did, and I'm just, I can't believe you'd lie, but she was so insistent, I-"

I held up a hand.

"You do understand that Judy caused me to hate things, that you helped me love?"

She calmed down.

Outpost Readout

When the call came in, I was asleep after drinking heavily the night before. But eventually the incessant ringing woke me up, and I grabbed it.

"Yeah?"

"Yes, I'm glad I caught you, I assume you were out recording the readings?"

Recognising the voice of my boss's boss's boss, I quickly coughed to get the hangover out of my voice.

"Yes sir, just doing my regular rounds, you know how it is!"

"While I admire your dedication, don't you think now is the time to instigate our emergency protocols?"

I glanced at the readouts, and cursed drinking everything last night.

Two Swordspeople

We chose our path together long before we truly understood what we were doing. We could have thought about it harder, but at the time, we just decided that we both needed a partner to get us through a rough patch.

But then the rough patch became smooth sailing, and with things going so well, why change things? But then things got worse again. So we needed to stick out the bad times, and good times wouldn't last, so milk them.

This led to us sticking together until we couldn't survive without the other one.

Which our simultaneous deaths proved.

Just One

She had her emotional outlets, wine, phone calls to her mother, triple choc ice cream.

But when she had truly strong emotions, she would head down into the basement, where she would fill a balloon with paint, and then throw it against a canvas she randomly pulled out of the stack of twenty she had down there. She would let it dry, then put back, and then do it again.

When she was an old woman, she finally looked at them, hoping they were all good.

As it turned out she 'randomly' picked the exact same canvas every single time.

The Old Methods

The days of sending a beautiful woman into the room to distract a target were mostly gone. Sure, there was the occasional horny old man who could be easily manipulated, and there was that Chinese businesswoman, but for the most part, we had to use more complex means to distract targets.

On this day, we used the fighting couple and the clumsy waitress to poison the target's drink, but then just before he drank, he dropped the drink, and we lost the chance.

On his way out, he made a call to his mistress.

So maybe we should go back.

My Greatest Trick

It was the greatest magic trick I ever pulled off.

It was only my fourth gig, a birthday party for a friend of a friend of a friend, his 21st.

When I started, the birthday boy loudly declared that magic was stupid, but I continued anyway, and indicated a board I brought in, with playing cards stuck to it.

I began to explain he was going to pick one, and he grabbed one off the board.

I then, without seeing or touching it, made it appear under his chair.

Thank goodness he snatched the one I wanted him to take.

False Flagged

The first nuke was meant to be a false flag, 'smuggled' into a sacrificial town and blown to justify ending diplomatic efforts and the defence budget increase.

But on route it blew up in a city, and before the explanation could get to the generals, the nukes were flying at the enemy who naturally returned fire.

Before they'd even landed, others used the chance to settle scores, and soon almost all the nukes were flying.

Before they died of radiation poisoning, those responsible for the false flag were annoyed to find out an enemy agent had blown the first nuke...

Kneads

She began to knead the dough, counting under her breath with every cycle.

"3, 4..."

He walked in, and crossed his arms.

"We need to talk."

She continued to knead.

"7, 8..."

"I am sick of having to carry the load in this relationship."

"12, 13..."

"I'm always making apologies for you, always keeping appointments, I'm sick of doing all the work."

"17, 18..."

"For god's sake, can you at least pay attention now?"

"24, 25..."

"Fuck it, I'm done, I'll be back in the morning for my things."

He left, slamming the door.

"30.

There, just what I kneaded."

The End Of The World

When the sun rose on the last day, I was not aware that it was going to be the last day. The end of the world did not announce itself ahead of time.

Had I known, I would have had an extravagant breakfast, not a simple muesli. A strong cocktail, not a water. Sex, not a run.

The final day continued in a dull slog, a boring commute, tedious meetings, a disappointing lunch.

And then, as I headed back towards the office, I was hit by a bus, and died.

Thus, the world ended, right? It couldn't continue without me...

Rebel War

There were two rebel groups, one in the jungle who thought we were far too controlling, and the other off the coast in boats, who thought we were far too liberal and easygoing.

We tried to get them to fight each other, but the only thing they could agree on was that we had to go.

So we were constantly dealing with ground skirmishes out of the jungle, and shipping routes getting disrupted.

Eventually, we gave up and went to leave, telling them both we would be gone by nightfall.

The two sides wiped each other out within the hour. 

Spirit Levels

We woke up, the fire having just about died out, the spirit the Wizard had summoned the previous night floating above it.

"No beings approached the camp, Master."

The Wizard yawned.

"Good, now fuck off."

As the spirit vanished, I shook my head.

"Every other magic user I know is polite to the spirits they summon, for safety."

He laughed, and showed me the mystical coordinates for a specfic part of hell, the part where those who were overly submissive spent eternity.

The Wizard ended up dying at the hand of a demon, upset their toys were borrowed without asking.

Burn Out

He was my best buddy, and she was a co-worker of mine. When they met at my house-warming party, sparks instantly flew between them. And while at first I was happy enough for them, they began to move way too fast. Within a few weeks, they had matching tattoos, they were planning on moving in with each other, hell the dragged me to be the witness to their wedding at the town hall. And I was constantly telling them to slow down, warning them that they risked everything.

They've been married fifty-five years now but I maintain I was right.

Transcribed

"Examination of John Doe number 6843, started at... 18:36, 12th of November, 2028. Doctor Phillip Beckett speaking and performing the autopsy.

John Doe was found in West Central Reserve at 08:30, cause of death currently unknown.

Cursory examination shows no obvious signs of foul play, nor of cause of death.

Cutting into the chest now, and...

Body is releasing gas, which may have been picked up by the tape, pausing for body to stop moving.

Body continues to move.

Body has now sat up, once again cutting into the chest.

BODY IS..."

(Several minutes of static)

"Brains..."

"Brains..."

The Spotlight

She always had to be the center of attention, no matter what. From her voice (loud, shrill, carrying) to her wardrobe (loud, skimpy, attention-grabbing), everything about her seemed to be made that way on purpose to grab and keep your attention.

And at first, she did just that, always being the focal point of the room, growing up.

But soon, loud voices and skimpy clothing wasn't enough to grab people. She had to choose to calm down and accept herself for what she was, or go full-bore attention seeker.

The tattoos and lifestyle choices that followed were soothing to her.

Revolutions

When the posters went up all over town, they caused a huge stir, as the calls for revolution and of overthrowing of the government were shocking but also appealing to a lot of the population.

Soon, the people were marching in the streets, demanding change, demanding a new deal.

This, soon, led to actual revolution, and after a bloody, brutal war, a new government was installed, one that looked to be fairer, but soon fell into the same traps as the last.

Although they didn't make the same mistake of setting up a false flag revolution to flush traitors out.

Exceptional

Victoria and James were very much in love, everyone could tell.

Except for Victoria and James.

They only ever seemed to fight and bicker, she was never good enough for him, and he was always wrong in her eyes.

But eventually they'd settle down and admit to themselves how they felt, everyone knew that.

Except for Victoria and James.

Eventually, everyone in the office was sick and tired of it, so they forced the two to sit down and admit their love.

The resulting HR investigation ended with everyone getting quickly fired.

Except for Victoria and James.

And Ana, somehow.

Chained Monster

The chainsaw sputtered to life just as the door was kicked in, and the monster entered the room. I couldn't tell exactly how it did so, was it walking, slithering, flowing, trying to focus on it just hurt my head and soul.

So, I stopped caring and lunged forward with the spinning blades.

I had worried it would somehow vanish and I'd be cutting someone else. But no, it was the monster that was getting torn up by the blades, the monster's flesh falling apart, the monster's blood splattering around and then seeping upwards into my open mouth...

Oh, fuck.

Sealed With A Kiss

It was the kiss that, for her, sealed her love for him. It was the kiss that broke down the last of her defences, the last of her worries, as she finally admitted to herself that she was head over heels, that this was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. It was the kiss that ended one part of her life, and started a better one.

For him, it was the kiss that sealed their fate, as he realised that he was possibly having feelings for her, so of course he had to run.

Lucky Howl

In the distance, a wolf howled. At least, I hoped it was a wolf.

I kept moving, going as fast as I could in the moonlight, not wanting to trip or break anything.

Another howl, this one closer.

I started moving quicker, throwing caution away as I tried to get away from the howling faster.

And indeed, a root managed to trap my foot, causing me to go over, my foot breaking, my face getting cut.

As I crawled, a dark figure approached from the shadows.

So it turned out not to be a simple timber wolf.

Lucky, lucky me...

Driver Lost

I was staring at the map when my phone rang. I didn't look away as I answered.

"Yeah?"

"You've been chasing me, Copper?"

I paused.

"Oh yes? You're the one who's killed these five delivery drivers?"

"It's only four!

Wait, you're testing me?"

"You can't blame me."

"Sure I can! You better leave me alone, Copper, or else I'm going to start claiming more people! Stay away!"

"Well, how can I stay away from you if I don't know who you are?"

"I told you not to test me!"

They hung up before I could explain that wasn't a test.

Popping The Answer

 I took stock of the situation.

The camera crew, having jumped out from behind the now obviously deliberately planted bushes, and the red light on the camera saying that they were, at best recording, but more likely broadcasting live.

The woman, on one knee before me, a ring in her hand as she looked up at me.

The hundreds of years of sexist tradition I reflexedly wanted to subvert.

No easy escape routes.

A heart that didn't truly love her, hell, anyone, not even myself.

It took a moment longer than it should have, but I gave her an answer.

Made For Me

 As far as jobs went, being the false mafia boss was a sweet gig. Money, women, power, all of it mine, all just for paying attention to the subtle hints my 'bodyguard' was giving me as they stood to one side of my office, and then being able to sell whenever they wanted to the lesser members of the gang. Soon enough I was living the life of luxury.

And then someone went to kill me, leaving my 'bodyguard' in a quandary, do they risk their lives for me, or reveal the deception.

I died before they made a choice.

Word Soup

The broadcast was strong enough to be detectable, but weak enough to not be intelligible, beyond the fact that it was a message, in an unknown language, repeated on a loop.

The computer worked for days to try and piece together the rare moments of stronger signal, building a best estimate of the message, eventually getting something, which it then began to decode, producing a template where you could enter guesses of certain words, and build a translation.

It then became a game, to find the most interesting version, then the funniest, then the crudest.

The actual meaning was underwhelming.

Little Death, Big Death

As a combat medic, having people die in your arms is something you're not supposed to get used it. It's meant to hurt and be a painful experience every time, so you fight that much harder to not have it happen again.

But, it happens, enough, where I couldn't do anything, that you do kind of get used to it.

That weird dichotomy is further added to by how many people decide to reveal dark secrets out of some vain attempt to calm their souls before they die.

The amount of super secret sex within squads is quite remarkable, apparently.

Snapped Fingers

Every day, I would open the door, let her in, accompany her to her desk, hidden among the boxes of files, and would tell her, if she needed me, to just 'snap her fingers', before I headed back to the door.

And every time she needed me, which was once a week or so, she'd get up, walk to my chair, and ask me directly.

Eventually, after months of this, I asked why she never snapped her fingers, not even once.

She told me that she didn't know how.

So I taught her, took me five minutes.

Really shouldn't have,.

Be Cynical

I saw this meme about how, in the time of upheaval and chaos, that a good way to help out is to find people who had listings on this particular application for quasi-legally renting out parts of their home that lived in the area in trouble, and make advance bookings so as to get cash to them immediately.

Now, I'm sure that most of the people sharing this do think it's a good idea, but honestly, I feel like if I owned an application that took money from every booking made on it, I'd be telling people to do that... 

Office Politics

I'd been working there for a few weeks when Keiko from Accounting led someone over to my desk, smiling.

"Hello! This is our new actuarial data analyst, he's from New Zealand, I thought since you were Australian, you'd be best friends!"

I sighed as I squeezed my nose.

"Look, I'll be honest, that means that we're not going to get along, closer together people come from, the bigger the-"

"Oh, I love Aussies!"

I wish I could say I suspected him from that point, but it took his massive embezzlement to become known before I realised I should have known.

The Woman By The Sea

Where the river met the sea, there was always a woman. The name they had before they became the woman there didn't matter, at least to the tribe.

She was once of the tribe, but no longer, as those who took the role did so knowing what it entailed.

There was a lot that the tribe needed done that was not that which the tribe could do. The births, the deaths, all that was unclean, the tribe relied on the woman by the sea.

Which gave them all the power, as the old one would tell her apprentice every time.

Medical Attention

The blow to the head knocked me out.

When I awoke, I found myself naked, tied to a chair, and under enough bright lights to be seen from space, if I wasn't in a bunker that I could only assume was underground.

The figure in the gloom beyond the lights whistled under his breath.

"Oh good, I was worried you'd not make it."

I locked my lips and tasted blood.

"Not worried enough to give me medical attention?"

The figure laughed, leaning forward so I could see him, and the scars all over his face.

"You want this?"

"... Maybe not."