The scientist fell through the portal and landed heavily on the concrete, groaning before they began to get up.
"I did it! I created a portal into another universe! I can-"
They stood up and was stunned when they saw an older version of themselves, looking unenthusiastic.
"Let me answer the questions you have.
No, you can't go anywhere else, you need another portal generator on the other side.
No, you're not the first one of us to be here.
And no, there's no universe of sex-crazed beauties. The universe doesn't work like that."
That last one was a lie.
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