Called In

I had mentioned my friend Paul was feeling a little lonely in passing. She immediately suggested a double date with her friend Bridgette.

I guess I stared at her for too long because she seemed a little miffed when she asked me for an answer.

"You understand I'm talking about Paul, right?"

"Yeah, he needs a bit of spontaneity in his life."

"That's like thinking the room is a little stuffy so let's set off a nuke. And what could she see in him?"

She mentioned a particular body part.

They're getting married in August.

I give them till November.

Contact [Meaning Physical Touch]

"Unidentified Starship, please identify yourself."

There was a long pause, then a voice replied over a very low radio band, sounding like they were speaking Galactic Standard for the first time ever.

"Us...come in [meaning permission to enter a location] no conflict."

I glanced at the clock, annoyed that I couldn't claim I didn't have time before my end of shift.

"First contact, very well. Please allow the drone to access your databank to translate."

No idea if they understood me, but when I sent the drone out they fired on it.

Which was good, the destruction paperwork's much lighter.

Above The Pacific

The fuel ran out 70 clicks out from land.

I checked my height. 30000 feet up, give or take. The average rule of thumb was you could glide 1 or 2 kilometres for every drop of 1000 feet. So double 30...

Not great.

I had a choice, in fact I had several, but most revolved around which basic approach to take.

I could hope for decent winds, hit the water a few clicks away, and wait for people to turn up.

Or I could lighten the load.

"Ok, so, we're gonna have to jump for it, you guys go first!"

The Spirit

I watched the spirit slowly spin around in the whisky bottle as I twirled it with my finger on the table.

I knew I should give it up. Ever since I was 15, it was a part of my life, but as much fun and enjoyment I'd gotten out of it, I'd had to deal with the aftermaths. How many mornings of vomiting and headaches due to overuse had I endured?

But could I face things without it?

After a moment, I opened the bottle.

The spirit fairy flew out and didn't look back, I don't blame her one bit.

Telling

He walked in and put a sports bag on the table. I looked up at him, then at the bag, then him.

"And that is?"

"Open it."

I looked at the general shape of it.

"Look, I don't need visual proof you killed him, if that's-"

"Nah, he's still alive."

I looked back at him.

"So this is an apology bag?"

"No. Open it."

"Vinny, I'm tired. What is going on?"

"Found this in his place. Open it."

I sighed and opened the bag.

"That's more than he stole, right?"

"What is?"

The bag wasn't there any more, we decided.

Deathknuckle

COME, YOUR END AWAITS.

I stared up at the skeleton in the robe, and waved my hands desperately.

"Can't I play a game to beat you?"

It sighed, impressive considering it didn't have lungs.

ALWAYS WITH THE LAST CHANCE. FINE. WE PLAY DEATHKNUCKLE.

"I don't know that game, I was hoping for poker or-"

I CHOOSE THE GAME. WE PLAY DEATHKNUCKLE.

"Ok, how do we play?"

I AM NOT OBLIGATED TO TELL YOU THAT.

"That's not fair!"

NEITHER IS TRYING TO EXTEND YOUR LIFE PAST YOUR SCHEDULED END, YET HERE WE ARE. NOW CHOOSE.

"Uh... Twenty?"

...

YET ANOTHER LUCKY BASTARD.

Eyewitness

I am aware of the official records and what they have to say about that night.

I appreciate that they've got a lot of collaborative evidence and that they, to their credit, have not drawn attention to it, thus further making sure it seems like just another night.

I understand that I am not what would be judged as a reliable witness, nor that I have any right to be believed, especially about such a crazy claim.

But.

I. KNOW. WHAT. I. SAW.

And as long as you keep me locked up here, I'll know I'm right. Ain't that right?

First Step's A Doozy

He tossed me into the Endless Abyss to stop me ending his plans of conquest.

I screamed for, I think an hour? Obviously it was impossible to tell time, but it felt roughly that long before my voice gave out.

Over maybe 30 hours, I grew to realise that the Abyss seemed to have sone benefits, I wasn't tired, hungry, thirsty, bodily functions were not happening.

Then I spent a good few hundred hours testing various theories on how the Abyss seemed to work.

Thankfully when he tossed someone else in I was still sane and could reach them easily.

Time Travel Thinking

Ok, so hear me out. If we assume that time travel is possible, any changes to the timeline have to have some limitation. To whit, they can't end up precluding time travel, both for the practical paradox avoidance, and also out of some sense of self preservation.

And there's only two plausible scenarios given our current state of the world where they develop time travel. Either the future is so amazing they have the capacity to experiment and make it, or a billionaire creates it to be rich.

One doesn't need to change things, the other doesn't want to, either.

Cracking Magic

The Wizard stroked his (magically enhanced) long white beard.

"So, your claim is that there's something beyond the Gods?"

"Yes! Because how else can magic work as people wish it, and not be weird?"

"I explained it, us magic wielders have intense willpower that-"

"Ok, but willpower against what? If its just empty randomness, spells wouldn't fail. You're pressing up against something, or someone!"

"And if it's not the Gods..."

"Which it isn't."

"Then... Hmm. You may be onto something.

Shame."

He waved a hand, and the troublemaker was consumed by the void before they got too out of hand.

Wave Goodbye

I found him staring at a button.

"The outer defenses have fallen, is it ready?"

"Sort of."

"Explain."

"It'll send the wave out, killing any living thing outside the inner defences."

"I'm not hearing a justification for 'sort of' there."

"The wave will just keep going, through space, wiping out everything. Enemy forces, civilians, mindless creatures, everything."

"It'll wipe out all other life? Seriously?"

"I mean, the energy will probably dissipate after a few dozen light years, but can we justify-"

I leaned over and pressed the button.

Nothing happened.

"And that's why I disabled the weapon a minute ago."

God Of Morality

After decades of study, and thousands of gold pieces worth of magic ingredients, I finally cast a spell that got me to speak with them.

"Mortal, you dare insist on speaking to the God of Morality?"

"Yes, what gives you the right to judge all acts?"

The God paused.

"I'm a God, you understand."

"So what? Who decided you could decide what is good and evil in the world?"

"I did. That's the point. Why, you think you could do better?"

"Maybe, I-"

"Deal!"

There was a flash, and I became the God of Morality, and understood why he ran.

Somewhat Lucky

It was two hours in when I stood up. I was lucky in that they didn't shoot me immediately.

"Hey, sit the fuck down, we-"

"Are three people trying to maintain control of eleven while holding off the cops. Look, just let the rest of them go and keep me."

"Are you crazy, man?"

"No, I'm just trying to end this with the best possible outcome. You let all these others go, you'll get sympathy."

After a brief discussion, they agreed, as two of them sheparded the rest out, leaving just one with me that I quickly and easily overwhelmed.