Aesop 2.0: 9. The Royal Blacksmith

In the Royal Palace, The King’s Assistant went to the Royal Blacksmith. “The King requires a multitude of nails by tomorrow.” The Royal Blacksmith replied “I will produce nails fit for the King!” and got to work. The next day, the King’s Assistant came back. The Royal Blacksmith proudly showed his work, three beautiful silver nails, with delicate engraving along them, and the King’s Crest on the heads. The Blacksmith was promptly banished for not doing what was asked of him, producing quality instead of quantity.

“Unique art has its place, but there is nothing wrong with efficient mass production.”

Row R, Seat 17

In Row R, Seat 17, there’s a kid. He’s young, doesn’t really know the names of anyone yet. But tonight? Tonight he picks up one name. The guy who inspires him, captivates him. Or maybe he comes out and presses on every button, and the kid now has an arch-enemy to despise.

In Seat 18, the kid’s parent is there. She came just to watch over her kid, but tonight, they form a bond, they share an emotion invested in one specific wrestler, forever.

Now imagine that every seat has someone like that. Then you can start to truly perform.

Worshipper Versus Worshipped

Every ounce of weight extra on the trip meant another thousand units of fuel to get it up and on its way. So, the company made sure only the absolute bare essentials went. The lightest possible seeds, the minimum amount of air recyclers, one crew.

But to spend years running the energy absorption robots, one person needs some companionship. So they sent up a small robot dog to be the friend for them. And without fail, each person they sent up went mad and egomaniacal, claiming they ‘controlled a robot army’.

But when they switched to a cat, worked fine.

It Ain’t Isn’t

The Emily F. Norman Memorial Scholarship was very highly regarded and sought-after. The money was substantial, free accommodation, the works. But it wasn’t easy to get. After all, it used to be known as the “E.F Norman Gift for Proper Ladies Skilled at Oratory”. You had to give a flawless speech before an audience, including Mrs Norman’s descendant. Sally was expected to crush it as she approached the microphone.

“It ain't what you don't know-“ she began before Mrs Norman-Ziglar stood.

“Young lady, that is not the Queen’s English, thank you.”

Sally was lead away, crying something about a quotation.

Cutesy Wootsie

The two of them sat there on the bench, his jacket around her shoulders.

“Oh Sweetie, I just… You make me so happy my love, you’re my huggy snuggle bunny!” said the woman.

He laughed and then hugged her tightly. “And you’re my bubbly little love bug. Before I met you, I didn’t know what love was, but now I truly know, and that’s in the arms of my lovey-dovey girl, my little chocolate cup of happiness!”

“Oh, you’re just the cutesty guy, you’re just…” and then she trailed off into squealing.

And that’s when I shot them, Your Honor.

Land War In Asia

In the years to come, it would be known as the First Asian War, but right now, it was just life. Supposedly you fought against the invaders for your country, but really, you fought for survival against whoever it was that was trying to kill you.

Behind what remained of a schoolroom’s wall, a young man was desperately clearing a jam in his rifle. Thus he wasn’t able to fire when the other young man ran up to his position.

“How many?”

“A squad.”

The new boy paused.

“To think… One more Hashtagged Selfie and this could have been avoided…”

Sword Falling 101

The history department had begun their weekly meeting when the door burst open.

“Who said this?”

The college’s student newspaper flew into the room and landed on the table. It then slowly slid off. The Dean stomped into the room and picked it up, opened it up to a certain page and replaced it on the table. He began to quote from it.

“’The Dean doesn’t understand teaching-‘”

“We’ve all read it.” tried Professor Taylor-Brown.

“’AND, the budget limitations they are putting on this department are unacceptable.’ said an anonymous History Professor!’”

Glaring at Gloria, I slowly raised my hand.