Spoiled Spoils

I counted the coins in order, bronze, silver, gold. I scratched out the numbers on a brick in the wall above where the treasure chest was as I went, then did some quick calculations, and then divvied up.

I was short by a few gold.

I started from the gold this time, scratching the numbers into the wall, but the numbers were right, so I redid the division.

I was over by a few silver.

I would have recounted them yet again, but at this point the mimic tired of playing with me, and stopped pretending to be a wall.

Soul Patch

It started small. It always does.

Nobody ever goes straight into eternal fiery pits of hell from a pure standing start. You gotta start off with a subtle coating of impurity, convince someone that a little immorality is fine, then you ramp up from there.

And, not to be too immodest, but I was one of the best. I'm the demon who got Joan of Arc right before she burned, after all.

But in all my time adding impurity to souls, I never thought about that taunting the angels and then talking to them might be removing my own impurity...

Her Name Was Roberta

Her name didn't matter. In the grand scheme of things.

On a personal level, of course it mattered to her. It was her name, after all. Your identity, your personality and your soul, they are linked to your name.

And certainly there were plenty of government departments and businesses that wanted her name recorded and kept, either to prevent fraud or to sell her things, and that wasn't totally separate in both cases.

The records should have her name, yes. But it's not that important. Once she stood up to the troops and was shot, her name became somewhat irrelevant...

Wartime Research Papers

"I want my objections noted!"

"And once more, Doctor, they are. The Government understands that your Grandfather's work-"

"Has been declared to be off limits by every scientific body! We cannot benefit from the horrors he was forced to commit on innocent victims, and-"

"That was before we were under threat of alien invasion. The reports he sent to Central Command indicated he was close to perfecting human hybridization, and we need that data now."

Reluctantly, she turned the key and opened the filing cabinet. She pulled out a notebook and opened it.

"Screw Central Command", scrawled over and over...

Skipping Today

Look, I’ll level with you, I’m really not feeling this today. I mean, even without everything that’s going on in the world today, all the protests needed for all the obvious evil, on a personal level, I’ve been dealing with some stuff that I don’t want to get into here, but suffice to say, I’m really not in the right frame of mind to be doing this. And that’s without the eight or nine drinks I just had. So maybe we could just call this one a mulligan and try again tomorrow? OK?

No? Oh fine then.

Scalpel please, nurse.

Viper

I got careless, focusing too much on the mountain in the distance, when I tripped on the vine and fell onto my hands and knees.

Then the viper hissed.

The only movement I made was to breathe and to pump blood through my body, as my eyes stayed locked on the creature as it shifted before me. Then it lunged.

All its venom got was my rucksack, before I yanked it back and ran.

I guess vipers can track their venom, how else would the same viper find me down this ravine, with broken legs? Unless it got very lucky…

Site News: Unexplained Absence

Hey everyone, just a quick note. Sorry about the sudden and unexplained lack of posts. I developed a viral infection on Australia Day, and was unable to get to my computer or do much of anything for a few days. By the time I was okish, I had stuff to take care of, so I was unable to write anything. Later tonight will be the return of the Drabbles, with this year's Rumble entry. Thank you for understanding!