Scales

I woke up to find the snake wrapping around my body.

Obviously my initial thought was to call out.

The tightening of the scales around me made me realise how stupid that waste of oxygen was, so I quickly began to focus on working out how to get out of this.

I saw my dinner knife a few feet away, and managed to roll us both over, and force it into the back of-

My secret lover, Asandra, the thief, looking shocked.

I mean, fine, the Illusionist was in love with her too and was jealous, but that’s no excuse…

On The Off Chance

When he woke up, something felt off.

He really couldn’t work out what, though. Although there was a physical aspect, it didn’t feel like an ailment or injury. Although there was a mental aspect, he hadn’t forgotten anything, he was sure. And although he didn’t really believe in the spiritual, there was an aspect of that too.

He tried to explain it to a friend, but all he could put into words was the feeling that someone was trying to get his attention, somehow, but not really…

By morning the next day, the feeling had passed.

As had his opportunity.

GG Intersects BB

She was the good girl raised by good, albeit strict parents.

He was, while not truly a bad boy, certainly the type to get lumped in with them.

At first, it was a simple case of charity. She noticed he was doing badly in physics, and offered to help him study it. Despite the crude statements from his ‘friends’, it was strictly schoolwork.

But they got to talking, then hanging out socially, and then he admitted his feelings.

She should have said she didn’t share them, it would have made everything easier.

But she was raised to tell the truth…

Buffered Logic

The new guy working the register poked me when she walked in. I glanced up and saw her. I kept my voice low.

“She comes in every few days dude. I think she’s a pornstar.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t know, but she always has a needle mark on her wrist.”

His eyes widened, and his voice raised.

“Oh, so if she’s into drugs she must do porn? What the hell?”

“No, the constant blood tests dude.”

I turned to her and went to apologise when she waved it off.

“You’re wrong, but logical. And flattering, in a way…”

Root Of Some Evil

It was a piece of gold, about the size of a snowflake.

It formed when a star with several names went supernova, taking with it three civilisations across four planets.

It travelled across space for a few hundred millennia, and landed on what would eventually become Earth.

It moved around the molten core for a while, then got stuck in the crust, where it was dug up, shined, melted, and then used for a variety of purposes, a bracelet, a coin, a tooth.

Until eventually, it was used in the motherboard of a computer.

That directly destroyed the Human civilisation.

Stocktake

I slowly sipped the mug in my hand, while staring through the steam wafting from it at the piece of paper in front of me.

On one side, there was a short list of every positive in my life, all the good things I got to do, the people who cared for me.

On the other side, there was a much longer list of everything that sucked in my life, all the people who hated me (which, to be fair, included a couple of doubles from the other list).

I sipped from the mug again. Could barely taste the poison…

Self-Styled

His editor rang at dawn, knowing he’d be a few hours into his writing by then.

“This play you sent me.”

“What about it?”

“It’s pretty close to plagiarism.”

The author’s groan was just audible over the line.

“OK, who did I rip off and can we pay them off?”

“Well I’m not sure about that last point, given that you ripped off yourself.”

The line went dead for a moment, so she continued.

“The whole second act is pretty much ripped off from that lesbian two-hander you did.”

“So what? What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Ask Jeff Fogerty.”