As I got off the plane, my thoughts were pretty average for
a guy coming back from the front. Get my girl, get some junk food, get drunk
and/or high, then screw for a week.
When I spotted my girl, I was still focused on that, even if
I couldn’t hide my (momentary) shock at her weight gain. She turned around and
wiggled her now rounder ass at me.
“I overheard you say you wanted more booty before your
deployment!” she said, proud of herself.
I tried to work out how to explain ‘Talk Like A Pirate Day’
to her…
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