When you’re halfway between Charlestown
and Williamsburg, you need to treat
everyone who gets off their horse or wagon as if they’re the first ever people
who want to buy long pork sausages.
Introduce yourself warmly, ask them we’re they’re headed,
and never lie to them.
When they want to know about your meat, make sure you tell
them about how George or Sally or whoever had a wonderful time on the farm,
albeit for a short while.
And of course, only kill and grind up people who won’t be
missed. Last thing you want is to be found out.
Would you care for the Sweeney Todd special?
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