First Meetings

When I got a couple for therapy, after the initial greetings and paperwork questions, assuming the reason for their visit wasn't urgent, I always asked how they met.

Beyond being fairly safe territory for an ice breaker, it's good to get a bead on the dynamics of the relationship. Does one expect the other to remember all the details? Does one not care about it? This sort of thing is usually a good basis to start from.

But of course, the main reason I do it is to try and find something I can use to try and find someone.

Sand In The Hourglass

Death claimed that there was a minor irregularity with my soul, and told me to wait in its office.

Sorry, in the 'metaphorical representation of its office that my soul would construct to try and comprehend what was going on'.

And certainly, trying to focus on any detail made my everything hurt, so I stopped trying.

Especially when I saw my hourglass on its desk, the sand all at the bottom.

So I flipped it over.

And nothing happened.

"Metaphorical representations of incomprehensible items do not work so simply" it told me, before it realised the hourglass and restarted it.

A Friendly Face

The sun had gone down hours ago, but we were still riding along the trail, my companion insisted.

But eventually we came by a small cabin, with a man washing a dog out front.

"Well howdy strangers! It's a bit late to be on the trail! Why not rest a while, my wife-"

My companion pulled his gun and fired, killing the man. Three others charged out of the cabin, one at a time, and he shot them in turn.

"What on earth?"

"Most times, that friendly a family, this far out, they're cannibals."

"Most times?"

"More than half, certainly."

Tenth Street

Due to an election promise running into a funding shortage, there were one hundred streetlights along the road, which covered maybe a tenth of its length.

Due to a need for an afternoon nap running into a hard deadline the following morning, the SUV was travelling at 110 miles per hour, which was a tenth over the limit.

Due to a tire running into an upturned nail, there was a small sedan mostly off the road, maybe a tenth over the line.

Due to the SUV running into the driver of the sedan, they lost a tenth of their body.

Double Jump

"Dude, imagine if we could double jump in real life!"

"How?"

"Like they do in platformers, you know, jump and then jump again?"

"I understand the concept, I'm just trying to work out how you're imagining this is occurring."

"Why does it matter?"

"Look, if air has weight and stiffness like that, we can't breathe it. If humans have fans or something in their bodies, we're radically altered. If it's magic, then we have fucking magic. None of them are positives."

"What's wrong with Magic?"

"Every negative aspect, plus reality being broken, that's a terrible outcome."

"Stop jumping to conclusions."

Biscuit

She would grit her teeth and get through work, she'd tolerate people when she ran errands, she seemed to not mind me, but she doted and absolutely dote on her cat, Biscuit.

Biscuit was a blue patched tabby with bracelets and butterfly markings.

I remember that by heart given how often she said it.

I never tried to make her choose between me and Biscuit, since I knew I'd lose the fight. So I tolerated the cat, until she found out she was allergic to cat hair.

Getting dumped so she could afford the air filters to keep Biscuit hurt.

Spirit Level

The exorcist, sorry, 'spiritual medium and passage champion', had agreed to meet me at the graveyard on the night of October first.

When she arrived, I warned her that this would be a scary experience, which she scoffed at.

But when the spirits rose up, even she seemed spooked, nothing but stammering gibberish falling from her lips.

Once they quietened down, she turned to me.

"Right, so a big spirit removal will be hard but-"

"No no, I don't want them gone."

"You don't?"

"No, I just want it moved to the end of the month when it's actually appropriate."