Waking Up

Darkness. Coldness. Confusion.

Try to scream, only a groan escapes.

Body sore, stiff, cold.

Upwards?

No other option.

Reach up. Wood?

Flimsy wood!

Punch.

Again.

At least cold means you can’t feel the pain.

Creaking, cracking, breaking, dirt!

So much dirt!

Must dig.

Dig more.

Breath not coming.

Hurry!

HURRY!

Wet soil, desperate strength.

Air!

Freedom!

Pull yourself out, night, can’t see.

Rain. Can’t be any colder.

Noise, to left.

Voices!

Run.

No, wait, can’t, walk. Legs stiff, how long buried?

Need heat, water, food.

No, just food.

People! People mean food!

… People are food?

… Brains.

Brains!

BRAINS!

Closing The Door

Due to some frankly poor choices in architecture, it is a fact that, if twenty-seven doors were all open at the exact same time, the country's most prized piece of paperwork, the treaty that formed this nation, could be seen from outside the building. This was deemed so unlikely a situation that no attempt to fix this was needed.

But the thing is, if you're dedicated and rich enough to want to try and use a laser to set fire to the treaty, you can afford a computer attached to a camera to watch and fire if it ever happened.

Content

When he injured his throat, he thought it was the worst thing that could happen to him. He made his living as an online streamer and video maker, being able to talk was instrumental to that, obviously.

But then a funny thing happened. He found himself. He had spent so much of his adult life constantly posting online, constantly thinking and filming and 'maintaining his brand' that he'd forgotten what it was like to just be in the moment and just be content.

Of course, once he got better he started trying to sell his newfound contentment skills to everyone.

Straight Whites

You know how they say that you get more conservative when you get older? As if it's an inevitable fact of life? I can't help but wonder if that used to be true because as you got older, assuming you were a straight white male or maybe a straight white female with money, you realised society was set up to benefit you at the expense of everyone else, and so most straight whites would want to support such a system.

I don't have a punchline here, but as a straight white male I can get away without one, I think.

Office Screw-Up

I thought he was all thumbs at first. Every time I saw him, he was dropping something, or tripping over his own feet, or simply tripping over his tongue.

You'd think he would get fired, but my assistant manager swore he was a hard worker and that he wasn't like that when I wasn't around. I recommended he be assigned a course on respecting authority.

Then at the office holiday party, he got drunk and admitted he had a major crush on me.

So naturally I fired him, since that was  far too unprofessional and besides, I wasn't going anywhere.

Processing Agent

Every day saw a few more bodies fall through the  hole, and I did the same thing every time.

Strip, sorting clothing and other items into the bins, check tattoo on wrist then either toss into crusher, incinerate, or melt.

My programming has lots of contingencies built in. If there was a second human inside the main one, remove and process separately and incinerate. If the body lacked wrists, check ankles, or neck if missing those as well. If the body is still moving, use baton on head until they stop.

So far nothing has forced me to think, thankfully.

What I Did

It was three days after I did what I did that I knocked on her door. There was the sound of her approaching the door, the pause as she checked the peephole, and then she opened the door. She crossed her arms and stared at me.

“I-“

She raised her hand, and I stopped. She continued to stare.

“If-“

The hand went back up. I stopped. More staring.

After a few long moments, I threw up my hands and turned to go.

“So, what you did. I kinda did it to.”

I didn’t raise my hand. I just kept walking.

A Non-Vicious Cycle

The negotiations had taken months, as each of the Seven Kingdoms was sure the other six were trying to cheat them exclusively. But no matter how many times a diplomat threatened to walk out, everyone knew that there had to be an end to this vicious cycle of war, conquest, rebellion, repeat. Peace had to be achieved, and eventually I managed to do it.

The Kingdoms all signed off, and were more than happy to give me the island in the middle of Central Lake, where I'd have to set up the magic time travelling pool I'll fall into eventually.

Four Rabbit's Feet

It was two days after the rock landed on my leg that I first saw the rabbit. It was brown, thin like most wild animals, but unlike most wild animals it seemed to be curious, as it came up to me and sniffed around me.

My initial thought was to kill it, I had food at that moment but it would run out eventually. But I found myself unable to, and just picked it up and threw it gently back towards the bushes.

The wolf that sprung out at it fed me for much longer than the rabbit would have.

Door To Door In 2064

I’ll try to be brief, of course, Sir.

I’m speaking with you on behalf of the Global Safety Alliance, have you heard of us before today, Sir?

Oh, that’s a shame. Well, we’re a non-profit organisation that is dedicated to promoting safety and security around the globe, Sir.

Well we do fundraising, awareness campaigns, as well as working with communities to ensure their safety via identification and if possible removal of threats, Sir.

For example, did you know your next door neighbour is an Extra-terrestrial, Sir?

You don’t see the threat… Good day, Sir.

No, you’re not a woman, Sir.