To all staff:
Some memos I love to type, when I get to tell you all that bonuses will be larger than last year or that we got a huge contract, I love those.
Others I hate to have to write, when people leave the company or projects fall through.
But some memos I never thought I'd have to write. I thought, erroneously it seems, that the subject would never have to be brought up. But, here we are.
Effective immediately, all staff are banned from having sexual relations with any electronic device up to and including our new robots.
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