Retort

I always had a retort for him, which often was as simple as filling in the cliche he tried to use to chastise me.

So when he hated how I kept surfing online, and told me how curiosity killed the cat, I reminded him that satisfaction brought it back.

Or when he wanted me to start getting up earlier, the early bird gets the worm he said. But the second mouse gets the cheese.

Or when he got fed up and told me to get fucked and I said fuck your mother.

I didn't say they had to be clever.