My Peak

It's an unusual feeling, knowing that you've peaked as an artist but still creating art. The knowledge that you will never match that one perfect piece, and yet the drive to continue anyway.

Not out of hope you'll somehow match it, or even more preposterously beat it, but out of the knowledge that you can't account for taste, and that maybe a lesser work can still have an impact on someone when they need it.

Thus, you keep creating, no matter what.

(That said, if you don't think 'Williams Versus Williams, 2013' is my best drabble, you're just plain wrong.)

The Blue Button

The blue button must not be pressed by anyone at any time.

It was a rule passed down through a hundred generations on the spaceship, as it made the trip between the galaxies. Of all the buttons on the main console bank, it was the only one that was blue, without a label.

Every bridge crewmember had a theory, most of them saying it would blow up the ship, with a return to the destroyed Earth the second most popular theory.

Of course, the fact that the word blue had changed meanings half a dozen times didn't help matters any.

Inability To See

 I could have been a winner, if only...

There's been plenty of people who started sentences like that, and I always knew that whatever came after it would be an excuse. They'd blame equipment, or some opposition, or they'd swear that they just didn't have the right opportunity.

Always an excuse, never owning up to the fact that they just weren't good enough. Sad, in a way.

But trust me, I know all about winning and losing, since I should have been champion of the world, if it wasn't for the conspiracy against me, and the lack of fair breaks...

Donner Point Observatory

The power went out three weeks ago. The supplies ran out a week ago. And still the snow falls, every day another foot against the door.

One of the technical staff made jokes about cannibalism at the start. They aren't making those jokes anymore. They just sit in the corner, a blanket wrapped around them, staring at the cleaner with... Well, with naked hunger in their eyes.

But what am I supposed to do? Order them not to eat each other? It'll just lead to chaos and infighting. Better i just leave them all stewing in their own thoughts.

Marinating...

Lures

I stopped by his stump, after he mentioned  he had a new idea about how to lure humans further into the woods.

When I got there, he seemed extremely pleased with himself.

"I've got it! This will improve our ability to lure humans!"

I sighed.

"Look, every time you've tried to improve beyond food and water, it's gone badly!"

"Hey, now, I maintain that the caches of those magazines with naked human women were good for luring young human males!"

"So what is it now?"

"This is mobile phone service that isn't enough to use but enough to tease usage."

Backwards Becky

She told me once, during a rare period of seriousness, that she enjoyed seeing the gears in people's minds grind, that she hoped that she might make them question things they took for granted.

A noble sentiment, sure, but she did it by childish stunts like doing the bunny ears with her fingers to the person taking the photo, or by telling people she had a great knock knock joke, but they start it. Their reaction to 'Who's there?' always made her smile.

I should have walked away long ago, but I'm worried she'll think that I'm proposing to her.

Universal Change

I thought I was travelling through parallel universes. I mean, put yourself in my shoes, every few moments, the device would power up, surround me with an energy field, the world around me would shimmer, and then I'd be in the same place, but in a totally new world.

Of course I assumed it was a transport machine, and of course the moment I found a universe of bliss and joy, I put the machine down and decided to stay.

Only for it to kick off and I discovered it was actually just rebooting the one universe, over and over...

Imperfect Match

I tried to explain that I didn't need his help 'finding a girl', but he insisted on 'helping' me.

"So, first step, download an app called-"

I silently showed him my phone screen, displaying the app.

"Oh, great, right, so you set up a profile?"

"Yes."

"Let me see, clearly you need help on that front."

I opened up the app and showed him. He looked confused.

"That seems good, actually. Your settings must be off."

He clicked through a bit.

"Wait, you have 173 matches waiting! Why haven't you opened any?"

"I'm waiting."

"For what?"

"To see who's committed." 

The Fight

The fight was over in a minute fifty, although it had been building for months. Years, if you want to include the long term issues with the two mining corporations that had worked together to build the space station.

The two mining gangs had been getting in each other's faces for weeks, and this was the day that fists began to fly, sharp tools were drawn, as the fight became deadly.

I had two strokes of luck. One, I happened to be looking at the right camera feed.

And two, they were fighting near an airlock I could remotely open.

Ransom

I opened the letter, and pulled out the photos.

I flipped through the images, seeing my wife, gagged and tied up in a chair, yesterday's newspaper held up beside her, then a picture of her with a black eye, and then... Screaming while tied up in a chair, having got the photos mixed up slightly.

The note said 'One week, $1,000,000'.

I, obviously, was very distraught, but I couldn't gather the money in time, I had a cash flow problem.

At least, that's what I told her when they released her. She didn't need to know the truth about things.

Full Of It

The ship's hull was old and rusted, and broke apart as we crossed the international date line.

Stu and I were the only two who got out in time, and we were stuck holding onto benches.

As we were stuck there, dolphins came swimming up. Stu was so happy, although I tried to warn him that dolphins were the fratboys of the sea, getting high on pufferfish and the like, but he swore that they were there to help.

And that was the last time I saw him, your honor.

Oh, a rack of beef floated by, I ate that.

The Four Gods

Since humanity began, the Four Gods have been guiding them.

Well, technically since before humanity, given it was one of them that encouraged a primate to pick up a stick and hit another primate with it.

They have had many names, many faces, sometimes male, sometimes female, sometimes animal, sometimes multiple gods in the same pantheon.

But throughout time, the four of them have all worked together to guide humanity. All that is good, bad, in humanity's history, is because of them.

But none of them is taking responsibility for capitalism, they've been trying to stop that from the start.

Blown Line

I walked into the line reading to see the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, ready to read against me.

I glanced at the lines and then began to read with her.

"So you're the next contender?"

"What, you got a problem with a woman fighting?"

"When she's as beautiful as you, yes, yes I do."

"I, what? You... You think I'm beautiful?"

"Yes, I do."

Beat, beat, beat... I guess it was over.

"You want to get a coffee?"

"Ew, no!"

"Oh, ok, fine."

She looked confused, as i realised that was her line.

I'd still blown it though.

Predictions

The youngest witch was helping the eldest prepare ingredients.

"Um, Ma'am?"

"Yes my child?"

"Yesterday, you told the Queen that she wouldn't be removed from power by any man."

"That's what the entrails said."

"But then, as she pointed out, that leaves all the women."

"Indeed it does."

"Why do predictions always do that? They always sound impressive, but then have an obvious loophole. Why not just say a woman will end her reign?"

"Because it might be an animal, or a natural phenomenon.

The spirits do not give direct answers because life lives in such loopholes.

Plus it's funnier."

Shortly

Was there ever going to be a happy ending for me? I never thought there would be, I always assumed my life would be short, miserable, and pointless.

And before you get on that positivity bullshit, this isn't depression or an emotional imbalance, it's a just a simple logical conclusion, based on the fact that the world sucks, I didn't have the good fortune to have rich parents, therefore my life would suck.

Of course, according to storytelling convention, this is when a woman enters my life, or I learn the value of teamwork or something.

Still waiting on that.

What's Needed

She was young and had that bright smile only those looking to convert you wore.

"Hello sir! Do you need anything?"

Before I could say anything she sat down next to the bed.

"In that case, can I talk to you about what comes next, after you pass?"

There was a lot I wanted to say to her, most of it obscene in general and what she would consider blasphemous, or heretical, maybe both. But given the tube in my throat, all I could do was keep pressing the button in my hand until I got another dose and slept.

Minotaur Flats

The call went out, demanding a hero to be chosen, to be sent to the Minotaur Flats, and to crush the Minotaur leader in single combat, and hold back the threat of them rising up.

There was a lot of fights that broke out, as people fought over the right. But then a young woman was the first one to step onto the Flats.

In a epic poem, she'd have destroyed the Minotaur in combat.

In a baudy inn song, she'd win in another way.

In this, real life, she just negotiated a peace, and thus was, naturally, widely hated.

Headache

The headache started a few hours after the party ended.

I chalked it up to just a hangover, so I took some aspirin, sculled some water, and headed to bed.

But then in the morning, I woke up to it having gotten worse. I tried more water and pills, but it didn't help, things kept getting worse.

I didn't want to spend the money for a doctor's visit, but I had no choice, and I headed into the clinic.

There, they reached into my hair and removed the corkscrew from my scalp.

Thankfully, that wasn't the cause of the pain.

You Probably Know Who

I was onto my third page of human skin, and he was still going.

"-and I want to be able to have any woman fall in love with me on command, and I want to be immortal, and-"

"Whoa whoa whoa. Ignoring just how big this bill is already, you want immortality? You do realise that you have to die so I get your soul, that's the entire point of this transaction. Yours, and a billion others at this point."

"I live forever, I desecrate the planet once everyone else dies, you get everyone."

"Sorry, that role is taken already."

Boss Killer

I heard the clapping and cheering, and stuck my head over my cubical wall. I saw the crowding around Sally's cubical, and called out to Veer, who was nearest to me.

"Hey man, what's going on?"

He turned around.

"Sally finally did it!"

"Good for her.

What is it?"

Veer shook his head.

"What do you think? She finally dealt with the boss!"

"Oh. Ok.

Wait, what?"

I came out and forced my way through the throng, only to see the video game on her computer screen.

I sighed, then noticed the blood and such all over her broken keyboard.

Warning

By the time you read this, it will be too late for me. I'll be gone. But you might have a chance.

I don't care what you thought you were going to get, what brought you here. No matter what you were promised or threatened with, it's not worth it.

I know you have no reason to trust me, but please, at least let this be a fan to the fire of doubt that I pray is inside you now.

Turn around, and head back. There is nothing but death here.

Certainly no mountain of gold and jewels, believe me.

Sword And Shield

The envoys offered up the sword and the shield, while standing several feet apart.

"The Guilds offer you these, your majesty, a sword that can cut anything, and a shield that can withstand any blow."

I sighed and gestured to my guards.

"You think I'm a fool? Both can't be true, so you're trying to fool me."

They quickly explained that the two were magically enhanced so that they could never touch, since that would end the universe. To prove it, they tried to bring them together, but failed.

When I mentioned magnetism, that's when they tried to run away.

Gouda Riddance

Here in my private pocket dimension outside the multiverses, I record the deaths that matter. For the most part, these aren't people, but universes themselves.

When one dies, I wrote down the cause of death as it floats before me.

'Lust For Power' is the most common, followed by 'To Stop Evil', which always seems a fruitless goal.

But the most interesting ones are...

Wait, excuse me a moment, I thought that said 'A Piece Of Cheese'. That can't be right, let me just remind and look.

Huh, that does look like a nice piece. Let me grab it and--------------------------------

No Slouch

It was a story my grandfather told me, several times, before he died. He told me to never slouch forward in a chair. Because back during the war, while on leave, he was at the theatre with some other soliders. He was sitting back, upright, the other guy leaning forward, slouching.

Then a bomb was dropped from a plane, coming through the roof, landing near them, killing the guy beside him but just grazing him because he was upright.

Even as a kid, I assumed it was a tale to stop me slouching.

Imagine my surprise, that it was true.

Overthinker

It was my fiftieth birthday, and I was looking over the city's lights with my best friend, a couple of inoffensive white wines in our hands.

"So do you remember what you told me about Mary? When she was going to move to the other side of the planet?"

He laughed.

"Of course I do! Mr Wait and See, Mr Cautious, about to lose the love of his life, I gave you a much needed kick in the ass. You're welcome!"

I sighed.

"Or should I be apologising for your marriage?"

"We could have made long distance work, is all."

Making A Killing

I spent years looking for a fool proof product to sell, something I could really make bank on.

At first I focused on essentials, food, shelter, but there were too many competitors and variety.

So then I started to explore emotional purchases. And while love, joy, envy  all had their positives, none of them were great.

Especially compared to fear.

And there I found my goldmine, selling distress beacon sets to people to be buried with, in case they weren't actually dead.

Of course, I didn't bother making them work. They'd either not need it or be unable to complain...

Changed Calendar

I made my way under London Bridge to his secret sanctum, the scroll he'd written for me in my hand.

"If you don't want to teach me magic, you could have just said so!"

He looked up from his crystal ball.

"Is there a problem with the task I set you?"

"You told me to 'study the events of the 5th of September, 1752'. There was no 5th of September, 1752, that was when the English calendar changed!"

He sighed.

"You wish to study magic, but you find it confusing that time has been blocked from memory?"

"Oh. Good point."

The Universal Beat

Every living creature in the universe shares the beat of the universe in their hearts. And minds, and lungs, every part.

Because on a subatomic level, every atom, while seemingly random in its movements, has a beat, the same as every single other atom in the universe.

Was it deliberately designed, or just a side effect of the creation of a universe? It's not for me to say, that knowledge is beyond me.

What isn't beyond me is knowing that this beat, this link that all things share, is what links us all together, cosmically.

And it's about to skip.

Brandy Poison

He watched her hands carefully as she opened the bottle of brandy.

He knew that his life was in danger.

He watched carefully as she picked two glasses.

He knew that a poisoner was after him.

He watched carefully as she poured two fingers into both glasses.

And he knew that this woman was coming onto him.

He watched her hold one out to him.

Women coming onto him was rare.

He took the glass, then 'accidentally' dropped it, as he watched her carefully.

She laughed it off, and moved in for a kiss.

He should have watched her lipstick.

No Tomorrow

There's a trite mental exercise that some people focus far too much on. You consider what you would do if there was no tomorrow.

It's usually trotted out to encourage people indulging in simple pleasures and to not take things for granted. And it always ignores the questions of forward planning and consequences for living solely in the moment.

Because trust me, there will be a tomorrow, and a tomorrow after that, and so on, for a thousand more days from today.

At that point, it stops becoming a thought experiment and becomes far more a practical experiment, of course.