I tried to explain that I didn't need his help 'finding a girl', but he insisted on 'helping' me.
"So, first step, download an app called-"
I silently showed him my phone screen, displaying the app.
"Oh, great, right, so you set up a profile?"
"Yes."
"Let me see, clearly you need help on that front."
I opened up the app and showed him. He looked confused.
"That seems good, actually. Your settings must be off."
He clicked through a bit.
"Wait, you have 173 matches waiting! Why haven't you opened any?"
"I'm waiting."
"For what?"
"To see who's committed."
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