Dirty Cross

So I was maybe seven or so years old. And my aunt and uncle were looking after me for the weekend, and so on Sunday, they took me to their church.

Now the church my parents, well, parent, went to was a pretty chill one, simple.

My aunt and uncles was very much not chill.

So after a bunch of signing and stuff in a language I didn't understand, we were on our way out, as was everyone else, when I saw people dipping their fingers into little pots by the doors.

So, being seven and relatively inquisitive, I reached into the small pot, trying to find what it was that everyone was touching.

My fingertips came out covered in soot, or dust or something.

As I stand there, staring at my fingers, trying to work out what had just happened, a hand came from behind me and made me make the sign of the cross, I think, with the soot covered fingers.

To this day, I don't know who it was, my aunt and uncle were ahead of me. I think my distrust of religion started there,

Coincidently, half the family hates me now, can you possibly guess why?

Grab What You Need

While he acknowledged the debt he owed me, I could tell the wizard was trying to guide me to take a Summonsteed figurine or something else simple to pay it off. But I was having fun going through his workshop.

I found the bundle of sticks hidden under a stack of scrolls. As i pulled it out, the sticks rearranged themselves into a ring, the size of a small well, with blackness filling the inside.

"And this is?"

He took his time in answering.

"It's a Grabcircle. You think of something you need or want, really concentrate on it, then reach in and you grab it."

I considered this.

"And what's the Demon's Trick?"

"Well it can't be anything alive, so no experienced virgins or power crystal spiders. That's the main one."

"So there's a secondary one?"

"Well, it's just that occasionally a hand will reach through and take something of yours that, presumably, someone else needs."

I considered this.

"So it's not making the stuff, just taking it? From where?"

The wizard shrugged.

I began to concentrate on what I needed, then reached through. I pulled out the letter, from my future self, telling me to take the Grabcircle.

The Little Death

She gave the same smile she always gave when a client came in.

"Hello, I'm Kia, welcome to the salon."

She recognized the fidgety hands, the sweaty brow, the reluctant stance.

"First time?"

After a few seconds, he nodded quickly. She softened her smile a little more.

"Ok, so let's relax."

She slinked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, as the music sensed her need and played a soft dance number. She began to move with the beat, watching slowly as he began to move with her. She gave an encouraging smile as he moved.

"Good, good. Just relax, you're safe here, no judgement, I want you to enjoy this."

He grunted something she didn't quite understand, but she guessed from his tone it was affirmative. Usually she'd ask the client if they had a specific way they wanted to do the act, but first timers, especially nervous ones like this, usually didn't know what they wanted.

So she took the lead, continuing to sway with him, until she slid her hands to his wrists, and then gently guided them to her throat.

After a moment, her sensors detected pressure, and her programming switched to chokemode.

The Big City

I was confused when there was a knock at my apartment door, I hadn't buzzed anyone in. But I opened it anyway, to find a rather attractive young woman.

"Yes?"

"Hi, um, can I see your penis?"

I was fairly certain I hadn't woken up in a porno, and yet here we were.

"Excuse me?"

"See, I grew up in Wheatsville, few hundred miles that way, and after my boyfriend dumped me I've been working my way here to the city, and guys have been so friendly and eager, and you know... But, like, as I've gotten closer to the city, they've been getting bigger and bigger, and since this apartment block is right in the middle of the city, I thought to prove if I'm right, I should find a guy who lives here, and the other guys I've asked have said no and-"

I held up a hand to stop the torrent of words. I sighed and opened the door for her. She came in, I shrugged and yanked down my waistband. She gasped.

"Oh my god, I WAS RIGHT!"

I looked down at my package. "Oh you dear child, I'm so sorry you've had such bad luck."

Level 1 Armageddon Protocol

In the known multiverse, there are 367,547 creatures, groups, and/or forces which are classified as Level 1 Armageddons. They range from clouds of molten dark matter millions of light years across through to creatures who resemble six year old Human females. Any attempt by any of these Level 1s to break out of their current level of reality, per protocol, is to be met with destruction by any means available.

This protocol has been in effect for some time, at one point the number of known Level 1s was in the millions, but the most commonly used interpretation of the protocol's allowances is to link the escaping Level 1 into a universe with another Level 1 and let them interact and hopefully destroy at least one of them, or at least weaken them both.

This does of course have a logical conclusion.

We are, in essence, running a survival of the fittest scenario, where eventually we will have the most powerful, indestructible Level 1 there is, with no real ability to stop it anymore.

This is known by my superiors, and they will have a plan to deal with this in the coming decade.

Oh, sorry, 367,546 now. Joy.

God's Work

The lightning came just often enough to ruin my nightvision but not often enough to see by. Every few seconds I brushed against a tree, stepped on a balance, kicked some damp leaves. I would have preferred not to leave so obvious a trail but when you're running for your life you tend to focus on speed over anything else.

Inbetween each roll of thunder I could hear the monks behind me, and while I couldn't understand what they were saying, I could at least tell they were gaining on me. It was their forest I was running through after all, it was to be expected they'd know how to get around it.

It all came to a head when I entered a clearing, and didn't have time to reach the other side before they would spot me. So I ran through the wet mud and got up onto a large boulder, what little good that would do me.

They approached, carefully, weapons drawn. I made peace with myself.

Then the lightning struck, spreading through the wet mud, knocking them all out, at least.

I'd have time to consider the implications later, but for now I just ran for it.

Reasonable Free Will

The time traveler told me I was important due to something about cosmic fatelines or something like that. Was odd to be given a time machine and an explanation right out of new age crystal worship.

But after a few trips backwards along my life, I had to believe him. I asked if I could go forward, and he gave me more weird talk about anything forward from my starting point was only a theoretical future, that it was the most likely outcome based on reasonable choices. But free will would will out.

I sped forward twenty years as much to get any from his words than to see what would happen.

I found myself in a darkened room, as a general gestured towards a map covered in lines and circles. She assured the President, which was me, apparently, that after these meganukes dropped, the five years of war would end.

I went back to my original time and went off on the time traveler. There was no way I'd make reasonable choices and end up there. I swore to prove it by making real reasonable choices.

And I avoided that future!

Much more reasonable to drop those bombs early.

Red Card

As soon as I opened my apartment door, Lilith strode in and threw herself onto my couch. She never was one for niceties.

"Are you aware of the concept of marriage to secure citizenship?"

I coughed.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Why? You're not getting deported, are you? Surely Canadians are safe?"

For the first time that I could recall, she looked unsure of herself.

"Not exactly... Look, it's complicated, I need your help to stay here, do you trust me?

I nodded, and she waved her hands in an odd pattern, before she suddenly grew wings and her skin turned red, and I was suddenly seeing a lot more of said skin than I had been a minute ago. Her voice was raspy, as if it was somehow on fire.

"Slave, answer me."

"Slave? Lilith, what the hell?"

The only reason her confusion wasn't clear on her face was the fear already there.

"No no no, that had to work, he'll be aware of this in a moment, the only ways that wouldn't work would be anti-spell magic or if you already loved me...

Oh, well, that's convenient."

I don't remember the following meeting, but the thank you I'll never forget.

Bit Of Cardboard

It was my high school formal, right before we finished our time there and moved on to university or work or whatever. They have out awards, most studious, most popular. I won one, biggest grub, the most messy. I got a laugh by walking up to collect the award with a pitcher of cola I was drinking from.

Afterwards she came up to me. She was the class president, the best and brightest. I was just the big guy everyone knew and no one hated, and because of those two apparently equal traits, we had both been chosen to be the student representatives on a school report thing, I'd not paid much attention during the meetings. We weren't friends as such but she was friendly with most people, apparently.

But as a few people were dancing and others were drinking or kissing or both, she asked something of me.

"Why do you play that up? You don't have to act like that."

I gave a noncommittal answer and slinked away, not wanting to get into a debate, but I think about her a lot off and on.

I feel bad that she must live her entire life playing a role.

Real To Me

I walked into her office to ask about the TS-799 forms, but froze when I saw her try, in vain, to disguise the fact she had been crying.

"Um, are you ok?"

She smiled weakly.

"Oh, yeah, it's nothing, really..."

I sighed, running a hand through my beard.

"Try me."

She squirmed in her ergonomic chair.

"Well it's just that, I mean, it's silly to get emotional over a TV show."

I shook my head.

"No it's not, fictional characters are just as real as you want them to be. If a wedding or a divorce or whatever has an emotional impact on you, then it's real. Hell, I'm still not completely over when Skuwiff stabbed Princess Sevilla in the back with the Sword Of Chance in Super Bounce Brothers 128!"

She stared at me blankly, then chuckled.

"I have no idea what you just said, but thank you for understanding."

I nodded.

"Of course, you'll have to tell me what the show was, I'll go mad otherwise."

"Oh, well, Ethonia died on Lust For Glory."

I immediately went and hugged her.

Poor girl, she clearly hadn't read the books, else she'd know about the Rise of the Zombie Princess.

Faith Called In Sick

He had stood outside the office building for almost twenty minutes. In another fifteen, he was due to walk in and have a job interview his father had arranged, one he was supposedly already going to ‘ace’. But deep down, he wanted to run across the road to the bar opposite, which was rather rowdy sounding for this time of day.

If he entered the office building, he’d meet with Frederica, her suit neatly pressed, her bun severe. She would interview him, and it would eventually follow on that their marriage would be long, their surroundings comfortable, and both of them would be happy, in a way, with their lives.

If he ran into the bar, he’d be greeted by the sight of Clementine doing shots using just her mouth while walking on her hands and knees along the bar. From that moment on, his life would be chaotic, varied and above all else fun, until the two of them would die when their tandem parachute failed to open and they slammed into the Peruvian desert.

But instead, he stood there, indecisively, for long enough that Paloma would crash into him on her scooter, and lead him down another path…

Two Damning All Over One

Every few generations would see the three souls play out the story they seemed destined to repeat forever, the story of Two damning All over One.

It began with two knights letting their kingdom fall to darkness as instead of standing together against the oncoming hordes they instead fought and killed each other over the hand of the maiden they both loved. They were all cursed because of it, before the kingdom fell, as clearly the maiden was mostly to blame for leading them on.

So they would eventually be reborn, and find themselves again, and be cursed to repeat the same terrible actions over and over, as two Princes destroyed three lands fighting over a Princess. Two Generals had their armies destroyed while they bickered over a Batwoman. Countless other lives would be ruined at best, lost at worst, as the Two would be unable to do anything but try and get the One.

But finally, the cycle was broken this time around. The Two CEOs did not, in fact, drive their companies into the ground, did not put hundreds of thousands out of work. Because this time the One was playing the Two and her hostile takeovers worked…

Papermore Office

I started controlling my breathing as I got off on the fifth floor, as I couldn’t afford to blow up at her the moment I went into her office. I took one last moment to collect myself before I knocked and opened her door.

“Bob! What can I do for you today?”

I took a long breath.

“Got an emergency meeting in a few minutes. I need the Rodriguez file, and-“

She let out a small scream then covered her mouth. I couldn’t help but look around at the piles and piles of random papers that filled most of the room.

“Gimme a sec!”

She ran up to me and practically pushed me out the door. As soon as the door closed, I heard crashes and bangs of piles of paper being tossed around.

After five minutes, the door opened a crack and the file was held out. She tried to speak, but all she could manage was heavy breathing. I took the file.

“… And the Harding account.”

Her eyes widened.

“I’ll bring it up to you!”

I worked on explanations on my way to the conference room.

Still don’t know how she managed to find it in time…

Birthday Girls

For the first time in a long time, Glory was bleeding, hurting, in pain.

In danger.

She slowly, with great effort, pulled herself to her feet, as around her, the four of them floated to the ground. Back at college, the May 5^th Girls had pretty much run the social lives of the entire place, if they decided you were a ‘zero’, you were ostracised before the day was over.

And now, on their twenty-first birthday, they all developed superpowers, and were set to take over the city, or at the very least, kill Glory. They had never liked her or her sister, but Glory hadn’t thought it went this deep.

“Any last words, Slut?” asked Susanna, as she began to form a fireball in her hands.

“Better make them good…” added Alicia, as she mentally spun the zerotium blade floating in front of her.

“Because soon you’ll join your sis…” Felicia chimed in, drawing cosmic radiation into her.

“And we will rule!” Paula finished, electricity flowing throughout her.

Glory sighed, and glanced up at the clock tower.

“One year older.” she muttered, and then sprung forward.

That was when everyone found out the girls’ powers only lasted the day.

Knowing What You Want

It was near the end of her shift, and Susan, sorry, Cherri, hoped the last client wasn’t going to be too weird.

She sighed inwardly when he came in, the large, out of date glasses, the horrible haircut, the duffle bag clutched nervously to his chest.

“Hey Baby…” she said with forced sultriness.

He gulped, and seemed to look everywhere but her. She could tell he was out of his depth, unless he really had a fascination with the carpet and the tiny part of the window left uncovered.

“I’ve uh… I’ve got this… Fetish…” he said in barely a whisper.

“Well, tell me what it is, sugar, and I’ll see if I can’t make your dream come true.” she said with a practised wink.

As if a dam had burst, suddenly words flew out of him.

“Can you go into the bathroom there, and then just masturbate really loudly, and let me listen to it while I stay here and… Uh… Yeah…” he trailed off, as the flow dried up.

She raised an eyebrow.

“Sure…”

She headed into the bathroom, and began to do as asked, while he constructed a sniper rifle and set to work through the window.

Debut Artist Awareness Enhancement Consultant

(Author's Notes: Well, it's been nearly 2 months, so time enough to mess with the format. I intend to stick to the drabble format the vast majority of the time here, but occasionally I may well have an idea that I can't express to my satisfaction in 100 words. Like this one, which is a double drabble, 200 words.

OK, so I went to that just for the name, but still. This will be an infrequent occurrence at best. If you have feedback on this, by all means let me know.)

It was about 3am. I didn’t pay attention when she got onto the train. She looked like another rocker chick, heading back home after a concert, or someone’s home at least. But then the tattoos and hair came off.

A few minutes after sitting down, she looked like a normal woman. She noticed me staring.

“What?”

I gestured to the outfit, and the wig sitting next to her.

“I’m a professional fangirl. I get hired to turn up to movie premiers and live performances to scream and shout and what have you. I mean, when they sign a new act, they don’t have screaming fans right away.”

She noticed my confusion wasn’t gone, and rolled her eyes. After a second, she began to scream. She fell to her knees, tears forming in her eyes, as she grabbed my hand and begged for an autograph.

And then, just like that, she stopped and went back to normal. I finally found my voice.

“So you live your life pretending to adore other people’s work. I assume you’re looking for someone to truly adore you?”

She snorted.

“Yeah, real like doesn’t work like that.” she said as she got up and walked away.