Dressed To Kill

Her dress was slinky and red, a thin sprinkling of sequins enough to catch the eye, to highlight her curves and the swell of her breasts.

Her shoes were also red, high heeled of course, to those who knew that were obscenely expensive, and to those who didn't they just enhanced the appeal of her legs, encased in pantyhose with a subtle flower design.

Her make up was on point, her eyes smoky, her lips plump and glossy, her cheeks oh so slightly rosy.

The overcoat was plastic, see-through, a natural and obvious match to the daggers in her hands.

Adjusting Day

Every four years, there's a February 29th.

We met on our first February 29th when she started on the 6th floor and I had to process her login privileges.

I asked her out on the second February 29th at the goodbye lunch for Kate, then formerly of the 9th floor.

She proposed to me on our third February 29th, as apparently that's the only day women can propose to men traditionally.

We didn't originally intend to get married on the fourth February 29th, but after we broke off then got back together a couple times, it just worked out well.

Fly Away

One fly buzzing doesn't sound too bad, assuming you're not trying to sleep inside your bedroom along with it. A swarm of them, while naturally louder, you get used to, especially if it's connected to a place, like say the meat packing district. Every time I ride past, the buzzing cacophony starts low, then oh so briefly fills my ears, then fades once more, along with the taste of dead animals in the air and the smell of animals fearing they are soon to be dead in my nostrils.

Comforting, really. Especially compared to the disconcerting lack of it now.

Socky

I found the sock puppet in the attic as I was beginning to go through Grandma's things for the will. It was the only thing in the only box that looked like Grandma had touched it in the last decade. It looked worn out, an eye missing, worn out fur, you could only just tell it was a monkey.

I'm not sure why I put it on, I just felt drawn to it. It's cute, in a way. But anyway, it's not alive or anything.

No, I'm not taking it off and you can't make me, court order or no.

Blade Envy

Ever since we both started out as pikemen, I'd been jealous of his dagger. It was a family heirloom, his grandmother's dagger that had slit a dozen Elven throats when she was an underground agent, or something. All I cared about was that it was exceedingly sharp.

In all our games of dice and cards, I never managed to win it, and he'd know if I stole it.

The day i finally got it was the day the Tree Elves attacked the camp and he sadly took an arrow to the throat.

It mostly killed him, I helped a little.

Code Orders

The takeover was smooth, minimal casualties, only one wing of the building damaged. As the fires were being put out, I approached the vault door with the former base commander following with a few rifles aimed at his back.

I opened the panel, and unlike the button display I was expecting, instead a simple audio input grill sat there. I turned on the former base commander.

"A new system? Talk about timing. But I still need you to open this. Or else you die."

"Death to my enemies."

I ordered them to fire before I noticed that unlocked the vault.

Two Sided Triangle

The issue here was that Ben and Dave were both in love.

Not with each other, that would be fine, modern times and all that.

No, instead they were in love with Susan and Suzie respectively.

That would also be fine, except that was the same woman, just at different points, when she was at work versus when she was at 'work'.

Now that could work, I suppose, except they knew each other, and they were both encouraging each other to pursue the girl of their dreams.

Things came to a head after she got the same grand gesture twice.

The Gift Giver

Almost every dominate culture on almost every planet has a similar myth about the being who came from above, bearing gifts.

The details change, apart from the obvious ones about how the being looks to match the culture's ideal of their species. Sometimes they bring abstract concepts, they bring wisdom or truth. Sometimes the being brings something more practical, weapons, or a food source.

But the one consistent thing about them all is the reasoning. The gift is always to help them become better, for a specific reason, a specific eight words.

"You need to be able to stop humanity."

Timelocked For Safety

The war was neverending. Literally, thanks to the Lightning Bolt Spray that slammed into the Blue Mage's Time Cube, the same twenty-six minutes of war just kept repeating, over and over again.

For those inside, that is. Those outside, life continued on, they mourned their lost sons and daughters and moved on into an era of peace with the area timelocked walled off and forgotten

So much peace and forgetfulness, in fact, that when a new danger arose, they didn't think they could fight it unless they broke the timelock.

They should have chosen the moment before everyone died though.

She Fell

She fell out of the plane after the hole got blown in the side of it, I jumped after her.

She was screaming as she fell, I couldn't hear her.

She had managed to hard arch despite her panic, I dove towards her.

She seemed surprised when I caught up to her, I slammed into her.

She clung to me with seemingly inhuman strength, I began tethering her.

She realised what I was doing, I finished securing her.

She tried to communicate something. I pulled the cord.

She screamed again as the chute took and I fell away from her.

Achilles

The only thing that matched my parents' love of Greek literature was their inability to foresee how hard my life would be with the name Achilles.

Believe me, every possible permutation of joke I've heard, from my struggles with trigonometry at school through the time I broke my foot, everyone seems to think they're the first person to point it out.

I'll admit it made me bitter towards my parents a fair bit, and I didn't speak to them for many years.

But I'm back on speaking terms with them now and this Achilles can heal.

I know, I know.

From The Desk Of Elecdev's CEO

To all staff:

Some memos I love to type, when I get to tell you all that bonuses will be larger than last year or that we got a huge contract, I love those.

Others I hate to have to write, when people leave the company or projects fall through.

But some memos I never thought I'd have to write. I thought, erroneously it seems, that the subject would never have to be brought up. But, here we are.

Effective immediately, all staff are banned from having sexual relations with any electronic device up to and including our new robots.

Fix Everything

In some worlds, you can just wave a magic wand and fix everything.

In some worlds, you can just program nanobots and fix everything.

In some worlds, you can just ask God and they fix everything.

In some worlds, you can just ask godlike men and women in lycra and they fix everything.

But in this world, there are no wands, no nanobots, no Gods or even godlike beings. All we have are two hands and whatever is in our hearts and minds. We must do what we can with what we have.

And accept that fixing everything isn't possible.

5:59

The only thing redder than my eyes in the darkened room was the readout of the digital clock telling me I had only a minute or so before the alarm would go off.

Why did I do this to myself? Every night I would set my alarm to get up to go to a tough job I hated. And setting an alarm always made it hard for me to fall asleep in the first place, I-

The alarm went off, I turned it off quickly, and my wife grunted slightly and rolled over.

Oh yeah, that's why.

I got up.

Marshal Washington

The rider got several long stares in their ride into the town center. Possibly due to the blood streaming down, possibly because she was a she, but probably because she was black.

A few moments after she had dismounted, someone strode up to her. She didn't need to look over at him to know his hand was near his gun. She wouldn't have raised her arms even if she could. Instead, she turned and shrugged her broken shoulder just enough to show her Marshal badge.

She probably should have checked if it was who she was hunting before doing that.

You Only Get One

The Evil Lord Of The Seven Lands was talking over the design of his new secret dungeon lair with the owner of the slave builders.

"And here, there should be two living automatons, one of which always tells the truth, the other always lies, and a sign saying adventurers can only ask-"

"No, no, I'm sick of overlords who give people chances and puzzles rather than just killing-"

"If I may continue, there should be a trapdoor over spikes that opens if anyone stands in front of the automatons for longer than thirty seconds."

"Oh, ok, I can do that."

Battle Of The Ages

It wasn't a clean, scientific fight, with textbook strikes and dodging. The punches were wild, some landing, some not. Fingers raked at eyes, heels searched for groins, and the two of them spent more time rolling around in the dirt than actually striking each other.

Eventually the two fighters were separated by simultaneous punches staggering them both. They both paused, glaring at each other.

Maybe this was the point they could work this out, stop the battle. But one of them repeated what they said about the other one's mother, so it started back up until the end of recess.

Fleet Work

With occupied space that spans the length of the galaxy, and a fleet to control and explore beyond it, there is a need for psychological therapy across it. The normal issues, stress, claustrophobia, bigotry, ship councilors can, and do, deal with every day.

But out there, there's always something unusual. Shock upon returning from attempted brainwashing, or memory loss from switching universes, any number of incidents caused by probes and disturbances, all needing very intense, long term work. One does not just brush off that sort of trauma.

We lose ten good officers monthly to ancient lifetimes in minutes probes...

A New Normal

The implant point was red and inflamed for a few days after the chip was put in. This was normal.

The chip didn't activate for several days as it needed to download and install updates. This was normal.

The transition to a new way of living was difficult for a while before she got used to the readouts in her sight and the changes to her body. This was normal.

The chip malfunctioned and began to rewrite her brain chemistry. This was unusual.

The new order, being part of the great collective, at one with all enhanmanity, this is normal.

Mindd & Readerr

He ran into my office and skidded to a stop, eyes wide and hands shaking.

"When did you develop your gift?"

I took my time to respond, mostly so I could try to work out what the hell he was talking about before I gave up.

"What?"

"Your ability to predict the future! The merger is canceled, they were cooking their books, everything you said would happen happened! Down to the letter!"

I debated internally for a long moment about how to tell him I merely assumed the worst case scenario.

Instead I charged him fifty bucks for a reading.

My Pile

I caught them adding a broken chair and table to my pile on the curbside. When I cleared my throat they looked guilty for a half second and then went for brazen cheerfulness.

"Morning!"

"Morning. You mind taking your stuff back?"

"What? This was already here, I was just clearing it from the pathway! Besides, even if it's mine, it is still well in the guidelines to be picked up by the garbage collection!"

"Except it's not garbage it's... Forget it."

Confused but pleased, they ran off.

'My Pile' won first place at the art contest because of the additions.

Thoughts From The Edge Of The Volcano

I didn't choose this path, and this moment was not what I ever envisioned. And yet, here we are.

I could jump and get this over with, but if this is to be my last ever moment, as it most likely seems, then why should I rush? Just to please a bunch of deluded worshippers?

It's very hot.

Wait, I'm about to be a human sacrifice and THAT could have been my final thought? Really, that's as lame as when I lost my-

Wait, maybe they think I'm a virgin and

FUCKING LOOSE FUCKING ROCK!!!

AHHHHHH!






Wait, this isn't lava!

Home Town Pride

There once was a man from out west,
Who was sure that his home was the best.
No matter where he would go,
He'd talk about his home so.

But then one day, he ran into trouble,
A big biker man with too much stubble.
This guy did come from the east,
Although 'guy'... he was more like a beast.

They traded loud but friendly barbs,
Over an otherwise average hand of cards.
The two soon got to fighting,
Punching and kicking and biting.

Such a waste, as they both died.
And yet everyone knows the best is north side.

Excuse For Conquest

The forces of evil had swept across most of the lands before the Elves finally mobilized their forces and drove them back and destroyed their Hellmouths.

So while the others races were of course happy that the evil was destroyed, most of the remains of leadership that survived were a little miffed, to put it mildly, at their delay. And soon the theory spread that the Elves had unleashed the evil themselves to have an excuse for conquest.

Turns out they were just lazy, but by then the other races had already declared war, and any excuse for conquest, right?

Retort

I always had a retort for him, which often was as simple as filling in the cliche he tried to use to chastise me.

So when he hated how I kept surfing online, and told me how curiosity killed the cat, I reminded him that satisfaction brought it back.

Or when he wanted me to start getting up earlier, the early bird gets the worm he said. But the second mouse gets the cheese.

Or when he got fed up and told me to get fucked and I said fuck your mother.

I didn't say they had to be clever.

The Worst Part

The delay was the worst part.

I mean, yes, obviously, the fact that a giant meteor heading right for the station that would kill us all was technically the worst part, but at least as far as I was concerned, the seventeen minutes between my firing the sole shot of the modified mining laser array we'd cobbled together and knowing if it had worked or not was the worst part of my day.

That is, until after it hit and the meteor didn't break apart and I got yelled at. That became the worst part before the true worst part.

Can't Lie To Her

I could never lie to her.

No matter the situation, as soon as I saw her, with her arms crossed, I was compelled to admit to whatever scheme or white lie I had going.

This wasn't an issue early in the relationship, I didn't want to lie to her anyway, plus she hated surprises so I didn't have to try and avoid her questioning gaze about anything positive.

But over time not being able to withhold information became a problem, I needed my space.

It did mean that once I made my decision she got it out of me quickly.

Shock The System

You know what? I'm sick of this restriction that I've put on myself. Why the hell should I limit myself to a mere hundred words every time? I mean, sure, I occasionally do two or three hundred words, but that's not that much better!

Well no more! Starting today, I vow to let my creativity run free, and no longer will I be beholden to any sense of word limits. I can, and will, write as long or as short as I damn well please!

I'll need to change the blog title...

Wait...

*counts number of words so far*

Fuck.

Down The Scope

Everything was so simple when she was looking down the scope. Yes, there were a dozen things she had to keep in her mind, every moment she needed to consider the wind, try and predict the movement of the enemy, keep tabs on her ammo, her immediate surroundings, lots of little things.

But that was just it, when she was on duty, things were quantifiable, measurable, controllable. What she needed to focus on filled her mind, and she didn't have any time to consider if, perhaps, she was on the wrong side.

But there was always return fire to give.

Gene's Play

I looked up from the datapad with barely contained annoyance dripping from my voice.

"Why are you bothering with this? The odds of the projections being this wrong are billions to one!"

Her voice was as annoyed as mine.

"Because any chance of this loss of genetic diversity is a chance too large!"

The argument lasted hours, until I broke a deal with her, that we'd alter our own genes to extend our lifespans so we could monitor the issue.

She was wrong in the end, but I didn't bother gloating as I'd got my extended lifespan out of her.

Barn Raising

We were halfway through the barn raising, and we needed some more long nails, so I was asked to ride over to the neighbor's ranch to grab some. He trusted me to find them, giving me directions to where they were.

Instead, when I arrived, I found the neighbor's wife and the deputy sheriff going at it.

Now, this should have been good for me. I was having issues with the law over where my cattle were grazing, and I'd fancied her for a while.

But the deputy was quicker on the draw than I was stating my blackmail intentions.