Doorframe

Through the door was the next phase.

Stepping through wouldn't be too difficult, just embrace what the world had in store, trust in the process, all that stuff.

But staying here, that also wouldn't be too difficult. Slightly harder than stepping through, sure, the world would have a strong opinion about this, but it had been done by plenty before, and would be done by plenty again.

But that's not what he wanted. But he didn't want what lay beyond the door, either.

But that only left jumping out the window.

And taking the trip down several hundred feet, terminally.

Gold Star

After the fifth Sheriff had died, the city refused to send any more until the Mayor had an explanation and an assurance it wouldn't happen again.

The Mayor wasn't sure what to do. None of them had been shot or attacked by criminals, that would have been enough to get an army of Marshalls down, but it was too late now. And the truth, that they'd all died in their sleep, wasn't good enough.

So, they made up a story about a local cook poisoning them, and him dying.

This worked, especially when the bartender cleaned his special Sheriff glass.

Rose Again

As she went into the operating room, she looked up at me.

"And if it fails, I expect roses, my room to be full of them, remember?"

I nodded.

"You've only said it a few hundred times."

"I want to make sure is all!" She called out as she was wheeled in.

I went and sat in the waiting room. Several hours later, the doctor came out and we spoke briefly.

A few hours later, she woke up, in an unfilled room.

"Oh."

It was all she said, before she drifted off again, and I started bringing in the roses.

Workmate

He stuck his head into my cubicle, like he'd done almost every workday.

"Hey man, I've got to meet with the accounts department in an hour, discussing the E.F.Rs for the next financial year. You don't mind tagging along, do you?"

Every since I'd started here, he was constantly asking for stuff like this, little favors, none of them too difficult, but overall time and energy consuming. I was done, and was prepared for the argument.

"Sorry, can't-"

"Oh, ok, no sweat, see you later!"

He left, and I tried to convince myself that wouldn't have worked any time prior.

Set-Up Punchline

They both took part in the same open mic contest to begin their careers. They both lost to the fat guy telling blue jokes.

They were never friends, but as they worked on their routines and honed their abilities, they often shared a stage, sometimes he would open for her, sometimes she opened for him, usually they both opened for someone else.

But they both worked equally hard, and ended up getting picked up by agents at the same time, moving into movies simultaneously, getting nominated the same year.

And both losing to a veteran character acting doing blue jokes.

Last Brick

He placed the last brick in the wall, scraping off the mortar that seeped out around it, and then backed away and sat down on his stump.

He opened his bottle and took a large swig from it as he glanced at the sun. A few hours to the mortar set, at sundown the wall would be finished.

He watched over it, silently watching months of work settle and solidify.

Just before it could be called finished, he walked back over and moved the brick.

It was ruined, and thus he began yo demolish it all and start again.

Again.

Crowd Control

The crowd was silent for several long, agonising seconds.

Just as I was about to try and win them back over, the one guy who's always in the crowd spoke up.

"Yeah, good one buddy."

I had one shot. One chance to win them back over, now that the element of being made to look like a fool was introduced. So I took a deep breath, and went to speak.

There's always that one guy, but there's sometimes the second guy.

"Great work!"

At that point, I had lost them, so I just went to plan B.

First shots missed.

The Bridge Failure

The bridge held for generations, withstanding everything that was thrown at it. Storms and floods, fires and dryness, millions of trips across and back, it never showed any sign of not being able to take the strain.

Then a guy tripped and fell over, landing with all his body weight on a chisel, point side down.

It left a mark.

And that mark grew, and grew, and spiderwebbed out from there, until a few decades later, the bridge failed.

You could blame that guy, but really, when you come down to it, was it really his fault?

Well, yes, obviously.

My Life Right Now

I am so fucking tired of everything, but I can't actually complain about anything.

It's so stupid, that my life isn't that bad, objectively, I know. I'm very fortunate, relatively speaking. And yet, I'm absolutely feeling terrible about everything. And I know I'm allowed to feel bad, that my negative emotions are valid, regardless of whatever objective facts about my life there are.

But still, I feel bad about feeling bad, which is a terrible feedback loop, as I just can't get over the fact that I can't feel better.

I don't have a happy ending here. Hope you're ok.

Bridged

He couldn't understand how to get out of this universe, when getting in was easy enough. His bridge device that he'd, um, obtained, from the visitor from another universe had worked well for years, leading him to many fun universes, and a few dangerous ones, but for some reason this boring grey cloud universe, it wouldn't let him out, no matter what he tried.

After a hundred years, he finally found out what was going on, when he was released, that this was punishment for murdering his other self and stealing his bridge device.

The murder part was a surprise.

Goal Filling

I was always taught to have a target, a goal to aim for. You work harder when there's a finish line, that sort of thing.

And I applied that in all aspects of my life. I wouldn't just focus on doing more flossing, I had to count every time until I reached a hundred, a thousand, ten thousand.

It worked well, for me at least, for most things. But part of me was left unfulfilled, I felt an emptiness in my soul.

So I made it a goal to fill it.

I've tried a lot, up to casual sex now.

A Captain's Opinion

I was of the opinion that she shouldn't go, that it was too dangerous a mission. She told me I was wrong.

I was of the opinion that she had been silent for far too long. My superior told me I was wrong 

I was of the opinion that she needed me to be the one to mount the rescue mission. My superiors and my team-mates told me I was wrong.

I was of the opinion that she would forgive me for the court martial I would get when I got home with her. She told me I was right.

The Bar

It was the first quiet night since I started at this bar, and I was shooting the shit with one of the bouncers.

"So what's the wildest it's ever gotten in here, be a football game I guess?"

The bouncer shook his head.

"Most times they get loud but manageable."

"One of the big social events then, an election or march or something?"

"Nah, the regulars don't care about that."

"What was it then?"

"A week ago."

"What, really? What happened?"

"Your predecessor died."

"What? How, why, what happened?"

"Blood loss, they got shot, they asked too many questions."

"Understood."

Lesson For My Student

There have been several points in history where the universe could have ceased to exist.

Most of them were within the first milliseconds, when the universe was first forming, the energy ebbing and flowing as it fought to exist.

A few seconds later, when it was a mere few million kilometers across, it was nearly swallowed by another universe that was burning out.

Then a millennium later, when it was still a maelstrom of fire and destruction, it almost burnt itself out, but a few dozen supernovas kept it going.

And then, a moment ago, you almost blew it up.

If Today Was Your Last Day

"What would you do if this was your last day on Earth?"

"Do I know?"

"Know what?"

"That it's my last day on Earth."

"Yes, of course."

"Well then I'd probably be in a bubble to prepare."

"What?"

"If I'm about to head to another planet, I'm bound-"

"No, no, you'll die in a day, what do you do? That's how you should live."

"Am I dying in a day?"

"Well you might!"

"And I might not. And thus what I would do is not appropriate, since it has consequences."

"Don't deny yourself!"

"If you insist."

I punched him hard.

Not There

Where was the crowd when he was training every morning, striving to be the very best? Not there.

Where was the crowd when he was injured, when his knee was on fire with every step, every exercise, every moment of agony as he strove back towards the field? Not there.

Where was the crowd when he almost failed to qualify for the race, when his time was only good enough when someone was disqualified? Not looking at him.

So when he succeeded, when he won, when he got gold, and the crowd was there, where was he, mentally? Not there.

Right Defusing

He should have been the one defusing the bomb, but given the gauze over his eyes to try and save some of his eyesight, I had to do it with his help.

"Right, so now there should be three wires."

"There's five."

"Right, two decoys. What colors are they?"

"They're all black."

"Right, either they're super professional, or they're lucky amateurs. Find the three that lead between the timer, the keypad, and the fuel."

"There's two between the fuel and the timer."

"Right, cut one."

"Just one, which one?"

"Right, I-"

"Cutting!"

He paused.

"Right, we're also very lucky apparently."

The DRP

The idea that The Service refuses to acknowledge or address mistakes is laughable. The Service fully understands and appreciates that due to changing circumstances, incorrect data management, or even occasional plain old human error, there may well be instances where the data we have is not accurate. The Service takes these issues very seriously, which us why The Service has the Data Realignment Protocol. If you, or anyone you know, is misaligned with the data The Service has, please notify the DRP promptly, and they will work quickly to make sure the misalignment is rectified in line with the Data.

UpLoad

I was about to hit submit when, by sheer dumb luck, my screen was on a part of the text that had an obvious mistake in the data set, a spelling mistake that probably wouldn't effect the end result. But to try and fix it, I'd have to go through every line, just a find and replace would get too many false positives.

So, I decided to risk it, and press the submit button.

It uploaded, I logged off, and then went to bed.

I woke up to an email saying they'd spotted a spelling mistake and find/replaced it.

Newsflash

"Hey, did you hear, oh, what was his name, James..."

"James Boyer, the writer of 'Ladder of Glory', he died last night, car crash."

"Oh, you did know then."

"Yes, I did. Just like every single time you've ever asked me about someone or something in a field you know I'm interested in, I already know. I'm online more than you are, I see all this stuff long before you. Why do you keep asking as if I'd have not heard about it?"

"Because surely you'd prefer hearing bad news from me rather than from a website?"

"You'd be surprised."

The Flames

The fire burned.

I watched it, enjoying the dance of the flames, the ebb and flow, rise and fall.

But all too soon, the fire stopped dancing and started dying. So I looked for more to feed it.

I found a few pieces of wood, and fed the flames, but it wasn't enough, not for flames worthy of the fire.

So I improvised, and grabbed anything that would burn, some bound papers, anything that would help.

The fire burned once more.

But then the alarm went off and I was forced to leave the fire behind, temporarily.

It caught up.

The Love Spell

She refused to cast the spell the first few dozen times I asked. But eventually, after promising to leave her alone forever, after I'd fetched her a few rare and precious spell ingredients, she agreed.

I gathered all the required items, and under a full moon, she laid them out.

"Focus on her, fill your mind with her name, her scent, all that you know of her. And then she shall be yours, once the water turns golden."

She stared at the water blankly.

"And it's failed."

"What? Does that mean she already loves me?"

"No, means she hates you."

Beside The Road

"Morning Ma'am, do.you know why I pulled you over?"

"Sir."

There was a short pause.

"Do you know why I pulled you over, Sir?"

"I'm not a man!"

"You just said you were a male, Ma'am!"

"No I didn't, I was referring to you!"

"I'm clearly not a man, Ma'am!"

"I'm not a woman either!"

There was a longer pause.

"License and Registration, please."

"When was the last time you calibrated your radar gun?"

"It was calibrated yesterday-"

"Current guidelines say it needs to be done daily."

The longest pause.

"Please open your trunk."

"You finally noticed the banging, huh?"

Never See It Coming

The fortune teller, after telling me next week's lottery numbers and to keep a lighter on me for when I met the love of my life, said that I was lucky, since I wouldn't see my death coming.

After I became a multimillionaire and then came to the rescue of the love of my life when she needed her ex's photo burnt, I obviously began to seek out challenge and danger head on, since I knew I wouldn't die to a shark I swam with.

Well, I mean, the deadly infection from the treatment of my shark bite was unexpected.

Cutting Ties

After I was done screaming in terror abour being on an alien spaceship, and after they injected what I assume was a translation device into my head, I calmed down enough to talk.

I tried to explain the world situation as best I could. I told them I was getting things wrong, but they kept saying they wanted an on the ground recap.

Once I was done, I asked about if they had been, given how sightings stopped around when smartphones became prominent.

They said something about orders to avoid planets with a tech level before they started dissecting me.

Sign Here

I looked at the soul, slightly perturbed that they weren't intimidated by the Ruler of Hell staring at them.

"You do realise the cost of failure will be intense, and never-ending, yes?"

"Yes, and I'm willing to risk it. Send me back and I'll deliver you a hundred souls to save my own."

I considered it. "Deal."

Once they signed, I sent them back to the moment they'd died.

A moment later, the soul reappeared, not alone.

"You couldn't last a minute?"

"Oh, I always knew I was screwed, I just needed to kill this guy."

I began the torture.

Hesitation In The Trench

It's hardly the biggest killer on battlefields (that's incompetent leadership), but hesitation is the most disheartening to see play out.

Probably because it usually hits the young ones, taking them out before they really get a chance to learn. One half second spent to build the courage needed to kill another person, and that's all they need to get in first.

If I could wave a magic wand, I'd get rid of all the hesitation, at least on my side.

I'd use it to get rid of incompetent leadership, but without that you don't get wars, so I'll leave that.

Hidden Cash

It was his secret little stashing place. You stand on this floorboard here, and press up on the mantelpiece there, it opened up a slit in the wall, just large enough to put the occasional large bill.

He didn't keep a running total, instead just having a rough idea of how much was there. But he needed a car, and the car needed a new axle.

So he reached in, and pulled out a single slip of paper, no cash.

It was a bill for foundation repairs to the apartment block, signed off on by the cranky old man upstairs. 

The Diamond And Ruby Ring

The ring was made not to be sold, but to prove that the apprentice was ready to graduate.

The proposal was made not to be accepted, but to prove that he totally wasn't gay, Mother.

The child was made not to be loved, but to prove that he still wasn't gay, Mother, stop asking.

The promise was made not to be kept, but to just make his son happy and stop him asking what he intended to do with the ring.

The ring was made not with real diamonds and rubies, but fakes, much to the disappointment of the son.

Time Loop Rules

I stared at the red crystal in the chest, as I listened for the sound of temporal energy gathering around me.

The book told me that this was how the time loop worked, the temporal energy swirled around me, and once it reached a certain level, the crystal would send me back 24 hours, and repeat.

To break the loop, I just needed to break the crystal.

So I locked the chest up and put it back on the shelf. As far as costs of immortality went, this was one I was happy to pay from now till, well, forever.

Fey Odds

The Fey promised all sorts of treasures, all sorts of rewards, whatever it took to get a mortal to pick up and throw the dice.

Gamble for what your soul most desires, at the risk of your soul. And the odds are simple, if the three dice total to even, you win! Odd...

Of course, the die did not have six sides, despite their appearance. They had a billion sides, three of them even, the rest odd.

It worked well for millennia. Then someone got an even number on the first die.

But luckily, the second die was also even.